LQDiary

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LQDMusic

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Okay, I haven't had a diary of any sort since I was 19 - this could be fun! I'm at my highest weight right now:

Female, 5'4", 277lbs BMI of 47.7 (Obese).

About two years ago, after a break up, I started eating a little better than I'm used to and I started dancing around my newly empty room - that caused me to lose 30lbs and I didn't even feel like I was trying! Sadly, I gained all of that back plus another 30lbs and I'm super frustrated. I recently moved 8 hours away to a new city and I'm feeling inspired - perfect time to do something I've always wanted to - like get friggin' healthy and stay that way! (lol)

My ultimate goal is to lose 130lbs by March 10, 2019 (that's 130lbs/67 weeks = 1.9lbs a week).

My short term goal is to get to 269 by January 19, 2018.

Even shorter goal is to get to 275lbs by this weekend (hehe).

I've been through a lot, but I'm not going to go into detail because it would take several hours and in the end it just sounds like excuses. Just know it was a lot of deep and scarring shit - like helping my family clean up children's blood after the investigation was over. Not something you get over, but not something I can fix so I can't let those things get in my way. I definitely eat when I'm upset, but I have to be alone and in front of a screen - otherwise my appetite goes completely away if I'm upset and in public. Every meal is eaten in front of some form of entertainment (that's probably how it gets away from me). I eat even after I'm full because I love the taste of food. Nuggets are my favorite fast-food item, pork is my favorite home-cooked items. Pork and bread.

I've tried eating steamed vegetables and nuts, and some weird ass fruits people kept recommending - it just made it that much easier to throw in the towel and go back to my old food. I'm big on the taste - if the taste is weird or the texture is mushy but not starchy, salty or sweet - I won't eat it. Green beans make me vomit. Broccoli makes me vomit. Onions cause me to involuntarily spit. I hate being this way but it's not something I do knowingly, it just happens. I like corn, tomatoes, potatoes, carrots with hot sauce, cucumbers and stereotypical fruits; watermelon, strawberries, bananas, apples, oranges, raisins, and grapes. Fake food - I'm sorry, my bad - I meant FAST food is my weakness; it's convenient, cheap, and tastes like bad decisions that FEEL good.

I've trying to give it up. I'm drinking a shit ton more water than I'm used to and limiting my fast food intake to once a day rather than for every meal. Perhaps in a month I can cut back to twice a week instead of every day. Here's hoping! The last time I lost weight my only form of exercise was dancing for an hour or two around my room - I'm trying that again although it kills my back AND I have to shower immediately afterward due to sweat aggravating my HS and making it impossible to walk for a week. I've got myfitnesspal by my side, on my phone, ready to document what I eat and how much I move. I've signed on to this place for support and accountability - and hopefully I'll even end up making friends :)
 
Hi, LQ & welcome to the forum.
A move to a new city opens up all new opportunities for change. Have you found a GP since you moved? That would be one of the first things I would do. A doctor may be able to give you some advice on a healthy diet, perhaps a referral to an exercise physiologist or a nutritionist. Everything is different, depending on where you are. I would imagine there would be many choices in Florida.
Limiting your consumption of fast food, in itself, will have you dropping off the pounds. I must admit my mouth dropped open when I read you will limit it once a day, rather than every meal. Cutting down junk food will make heaps of difference
I wish you well LQ. I'm sure you will find lots of support & encouragement here. This is a friendly & positive place. Cheers, Cate
 
Hi LQD and another welcome!
Congratulations on deciding to change things for the better. I´m sorry you´ve been hurting and I hope you´ll be able to build some healthier habits for comfort and safety. Best of luck!
LaMa
 
cate said:
A doctor may be able to give you some advice on a healthy diet, perhaps a referral to an exercise physiologist or a nutritionist. Everything is different, depending on where you are. I would imagine there would be many choices in Florida.
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Thanks for replying! :D I live in South Florida, where renting a small room costs more than I make biweekly. ($450 for the room, I make $402 biweekly) so I can't afford insurance and I definitely cannot afford to pay a doctor myself. That's another one of my goals; to save up money and consult a professional! Thankfully I have some family here, so if I do fall on hard times financially I can stay with one of them and pay lower rent, but I'd be staying on couches and garages. I went to a nutritionist about 5 years ago because my college offered free health services and she said she wouldn't help me develop a meal plan yet and that I needed to come back to her once I established a 3-meal-a-day routine. I never was able to do that, so I never went back. I've been out of college for 3.5 years and two years ago I was able to establish a routine where I ate 5 times a day (breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner). It worked wonders! That's what I'm trying now.

I know fast food is a killer, I wish it didn't taste so great but because it does I have to depend on sheer will power and strength to find alternatives. T_T What do daily meals look like for you? And is there any particular meal or recipe you would recommend? I attached the "feeding schedule" that worked for me last time, though, now that I look it... it just seems a little repetitive. I mean, is repetitive okay? My biweekly budget for food is anywhere from $20-$40 so I don't know that I have much choice. Still, a plan is a plan, right?
 
LaMaria said:
Hi LQD and another welcome!
Congratulations on deciding to change things for the better. I´m sorry you´ve been hurting and I hope you´ll be able to build some healthier habits for comfort and safety. Best of luck!
LaMa
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Thank you for the warm welcome and well wishes! I can't wait to start making progress and keeping this updated! How long have you been a member?
 
Sounds to me like that college nutritionist was a bit overwhelmed... Which is a real shame but can't be changed retroactively.

Your food plan does look a little bit repetitive but I've seen way worse. Having a limited choice of food you find palatable definitely makes it harder to come up with a healthy and varied diet, especially if you don't have a lot of money to spend, but the only thing I'm really inclined to object to is having just a small cucumber salad for lunch. Then again I only eat three times a day so I end up having bigger meals than most women so your mileage may vary. I wish veggies in the US had the same cost-per-calorie as fake food does!

By the way: would you have the time and opportunity to cook? "Healthy student meals" or some such search string should turn out something helpful on Youtube which you might get inspired by while eating.
 
Hey LQD - welcome to the forum! :)

Getting started can be the hardest part. In my experience, I found it was easier to make daily goals. Example, today I drink 100oz of water, next day I eat vegetables with every meal. Soon enough, you can have a couple goals to hit a day, and in no time you'll find you've adopted a whole bunch more healthy habits. The worst thing about the fast-food culture is that we've over saturated our tastebuds with salt, sugar and fat. So much so that foods like celery, broccoli, etc. don't satiate us anymore. Our bodies have been programmed to think it requires all that starch and salt in excess, and yes, it's physically addicting. I'd definitely look into some easy recipes to make healthier meals more palatable! You don't want to get bored. If you have to eat fast-food, perhaps you can try and make more reasonable choices? Maybe items on the menu that have less sodium. It takes a while to re-wire the brain to crave the right foods, but it's possible! Hot sauce is always on hand for me (carrots and hot sauce is a favourite snack of mine). :)

I wish you strength on this journey! Enjoy the room dancing (I do it often, too!), it can really lift the spirits!
Looking forward to seeing your progress. :hurray:
 
I reached my goal for the week! 275.6 from 277.1 by cutting out a little bit of fast food (Some days I had oatmeal twice and then fast food for dinner, some days I'd eat breakfast at McDonald's and sandwiches at home) drinking more water (kept a water bottle next to my bed because it was more convenient to drink that than to get up and grab a soda or juice from the fridge) and do whatever kind of awkward dance came to me whenever I was alone in my room and a song I liked came on!

Whenever I finished a food and exercise diary on the myfitnesspal app exceeding the amount of calories allowed, the dang thing scared me by telling me things like "If every day were like today, you'd weigh 285 in 5 weeks!" and I'm all "No! That's the opposite of what I want!" (lol) So I end up being a lot more careful the next day. I'm not gonna lie, I was tempted to lie to the app... but then it hit me how ridiculous it would be to lie to the app. I mean, it would be tracking imaginary progress and I'd just be gaining weight in reality. Oh boy!

Goal for this upcoming week: buy groceries that are healthier/ eat something other than turkey sandwiches and oatmeal at home.

Actually, my new job offers a pretty discount if we buy their brand of healthy, organic foods so it won't cost me an arm and a leg that I don't have! :D
Can't wait to see if this helps with my goal for next Friday, which is 273lbs.
 
Well done on you first week! You don´t have to be perfect right away (or ever) but changing a little bit whenever you can will still get you going forward. I´m going to admit here that I´ve been tempted to lie to an app as well. And I´ve seen people lying in their Weightwatchers food diaries. All it leads to is guilt, which gets associated with the program/process and ultimately raises the risk of quitting. So good work not lying to yourself :)
LQDMusic said:
Actually, my new job offers a pretty discount if we buy their brand of healthy, organic foods so it won't cost me an arm and a leg that I don't have!
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I like the sound of that !
 
Well done you on making a start. That's a big step and you've made it :)

The science is of course simple, less calories in and burn more off through exercise. How you achieve that is the really hard bit, but through experience, taking advice and maybe some trial and error you can get there. Perseverance is the real key though; never give up :cool:
 
LaMaria said:
By the way: would you have the time and opportunity to cook? "Healthy student meals" or some such search string should turn out something helpful on Youtube which you might get inspired by while eating.
Click to expand...

I'm working two jobs atm, a receptionist job and a retail job (so much fun). What's really going to suck is when I start school in a month. I'm a busy gal and I like it ;) Cooking is not completely out of the question, but I'm going to have to be one of those women that cooks a giant batch of stuff and reheats it during the week. The problem will be that I'll only be able to do that once a week and most foods won't make it through the week. So I may just have to have chicken or something for three days in a row. As long as I like it, I don't mind though.

By the way, THAT was a great suggestion. I've been learning how to do things like quick overnight oatmeal in mason jars and stuff on YouTube. I'm so excited for tomorrow (it's my only day off).
 
elizab3th said:
Hey LQD - welcome to the forum! :)
If you have to eat fast-food, perhaps you can try and make more reasonable choices? Maybe items on the menu that have less sodium. It takes a while to re-wire the brain to crave the right foods, but it's possible! Hot sauce is always on hand for me (carrots and hot sauce is a favourite snack of mine). :)

I wish you strength on this journey! Enjoy the room dancing (I do it often, too!), it can really lift the spirits!
Looking forward to seeing your progress. :hurray:
Click to expand...

Thank you for the warm welcome! Per your suggestion, I looked up which meals will kill me less quickly at McDonald's (it's the closest fast food joint to me) and I've started ordering things like the Fillet O Fish for dinner and oatmeal for breakfast. Not my usual, and my mouth has wondered if I made a mistake in ordering, but my eyes see McDonald's so my mouth just accepts it. > . <

And yes! I love hot sauce and carrots, or hot sauce and cucumbers. Thank you for your positivity! :D
 
Ooo if you love both carrots and spice may I suggest googling omi houriya? It's a Tunisian spicy carrot... Dip? Sauce? Spread? Whatever you want it to be, really. Easy and cheap to prepare if you have the right spices in your pantry (if not, I'm pretty sure the internet has found alternatives), doesn't need the oil the recipes state and keeps well in the fridge if you use a clean jar and cover the surface (otherwise it oxidizes and looks weird).
 
273.6lb from 275.6lb

I think this week to week style is a lot more fun and motivating than the month to month style I had going before. Progress feels good, but if I don't progress a whole a lot or not at all, it doesn't feel like such a huge failure. Just a little one. Smaller hill to climb.
 
LQDMusic said:
273.6lb from 275.6lb

I think this week to week style is a lot more fun and motivating than the month to month style I had going before. Progress feels good, but if I don't progress a whole a lot or not at all, it doesn't feel like such a huge failure. Just a little one. Smaller hill to climb.
Click to expand...
Good thinking. Well done!
 
Hey LQD, you've got this moving in the right direction... now turn that music up and get this party started. That 270 is waiting to be smashed :cool:
 
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