Losing it

A

Alibran

New member
A diary. I can do this. I used to be really good at writing diaries. And I've always been best at it when I'm depressed.

That sounds like I'm depressed a lot. I'm not. Really, I'm not. Anyway, here goes.

I used to exercise a lot. Back in 98/99, I was so fit and full of energy that it was hard to get me to stay still. I delivered the post (mail) in the mornings, and went dancing practically every evening. I remember when I started the job, I ordered my uniform, and when it came a few weeks later it was falling off me because I'd lost so much weight, and without even trying. Then at the end of 99 I was in hospital with a very serious asthma attack. I think it was only because I was so fit that I managed to recover from it so well. I was out of hospital within a week, and back dancing again the next night. I promised myself that I would always stay fit because it I didn't the next asthma attack could kill me.

And of course, I didn't do it.

I met someone, we moved in together, spent cosy evenings in front of the TV, cooked (and ate) lots of lovely food. Three years ago I weighed 182lb. I didn't know anything about BMI at the time. I only realised just how overweight I was when I was weighed at the doctors. It's only since I've learned about calculating my BMI that I realsed that at 5ft2 and 182lb I was actually obese. I didn't feel obese. I was just cuddly and I lacked energy.

Over the next 6-8 months (not really sure because I never bought any scales, just used other people's when I was at their house) I lost around 35lb. It wasn't hard. I just cut out most of the chocolate and cakes, and cut down my portion sizes. (Using smaller plates really helps with portion sizes.) I was aiming to get down to around 125lb, so I was still about 20lb short of my target when I stopped losing weight. I guess it got a bit harder, and I was back in my size 12 (US 8) clothes, so I didn't really bother trying too hard.

We moved house 3 months ago, and I left my job and haven't started a new one yet (I have one, I start on April 23), and I'm feeling fat, and ugly, and clumsy, and just horrible about myself. At the moment, I spend most of my days sat in front of the PC, when I start my new job I will still be sitting all day (driving a bus), so I know I need to exercise. I have been walking 15-20 minutes most days for the last few weeks, including a steep hill, so I'm not totally lazy. But I just feel so bad about myself at the moment.

Yesterday, my partner and I looked round the shops. There are some lovely independent shops near us, and we found loads of clothes that we want to buy when I start my new job and we've got some money. But every time I looked at something I liked, I imagined it on a slim, fit, attractive me, not the fat, ungainly, clumsy me that was walking round the shops trying to look small and inconspicuous. I feel so depressed at the moment. I was lying in bed tonight, crying, which is why I got up and I'm sat here at 2am posting this. My self confidence is so low. And I'm not even fat. There are a lot of people in the world who are much fatter than me, and thinking that makes me feel guilty about feeling down. How bad can this get?

Yesterday, on the way back from the shops, I decided I want to get back to where I was 8 years ago. I know I can't take 8 years off my life, but I want to be fit and healthy and slim. I was a size 10 (US 6) and I guess I weighed around 119-126lb. I know it won't be easy to achieve. Back then, I was cycling around 15 miles a day, walking for around 2-3 hours and dancing for around 2-3 hours. I'm not going to be able to fit in that amount of exercise once I start working. But I was also eating quite a bit. I didn't worry about what I ate, and if I needed an energy "kick" at work, which usually happened once or twice a day, I would eat a Mars bar.

So, I can increase my exercise, watch what I eat, and monitor my progress. In the morning, I'm going to go out and get myself some scales. Then I can find out where I'm starting from. At the moment I'm an unfit size 12/14 (14 in fashion stores, 12 in stores with more generous sizing). I'm aiming for a fit size 10.

It's really hard when you're feeling down. But I have 6 weeks until I start my new job. That's 6 weeks when I don't have the excuse of "too tired, don't have time" to avoid exercising. In that time, I should be able to get into a good routine, and start feeling better about myself.

I'm feeling really tired now, so maybe I'll be able to sleep.
 
Welcome to your diary and i hope yo do get a good rest and writing all that out made you feel a little better...

Hope tomorrow is a better day and we're glad to have you here..

enjoy your stay...
 
Welcome here Alibran! You can do this...use this diary to keep yourself on track. Just make sure you're honest. If you're not honest about what you're eating/doing, you're just cheating yourself.
 
Thanks, both of you, for the support and encouragement.

Since I didn't get to sleep in the end until about 3.30am, I decided not to feel guilty about staying in bed until 10.30 this morning. Now I am up and giving my breakfast time to go down before I head out for my (almost) daily walk.

In my last job I used to work nights, and it's really messed with my sleep pattern. Sometimes I have no problems sleeping normally, but I go through spells, especially if I'm worrying about something, when I really struggle to sleep. Even after three months, I still feel wide awake and hungry sometimes in the middle of the night, and come 8am (the time I used to finish work) I'm feeling comfortably tired and ready to sleep. I guess it's been made worse because I haven't been working, so I haven't been forced to get into a pattern, so I hope it will get better when I start my new job. It will have to, or I'll really struggle. I can't drive after a night of hardly any sleep.

Breakfast today (same as every other day) was cornflakes and soya milk. I think it was around 350 calories.
 
I had a much better night last night. I've started trying to exercise, and I think it's making me tired, so I'm sleeping better.

I've started using Fitday.com to record my eating and exercise. I don't think it's 100% accurate, but if it helps me to think about what I'm eating and the amount of exercise I'm doing, that's a good thing. Yesterday's calorie intake was around 1500, with a deficit of 850 after I put in my exercise, and today is looking like being about the same. The deficit may be slightly higher because I did more exercise today. I think I read somewhere that the deficit needs to be 1000 per day to lose 1kg a week. Since a kilo is just over 2lb, that's what I'm aiming for.

Exercise at the moment is mainly walking, with a little skipping (that I thought was going to kill me today, but I guess I'm still here), and some floor exercises I found on another website. I've got a slight general all-over achy feeling at the moment, more around my thighs/hips/bottom from all the walking (which is good because that's where I really need to tone the muscle) so I figure I've probably got it about right. I burned 500 calories through exercise today.

I found a plan for walking exercise that made me laugh. The first bit was fine, about suitable speed and distance, and making a plan and sticking to it. Then it went on to ..... "after week 2, start to introduce some gentle hills". The writer has obviously never been to Cornwall. I've managed to stick to mostly gentle hills (and one steep one) for the last couple of days, but I don't want to do the same walk all the time, so I'm going to have to go for something more difficult tomorrow. Some of the hills around here are so steep, it's more like climbing than walking. I wonder if climbing burns more calories ....

The walking is wonderful. The last two days have been sunny, and I've walked up to the village, and then out along one of the roads to the sea. Both days I've had a five minute rest before walking back, sitting on a rock high above the sea and watching the waves and the gulls, and smelling the salt. I don't know why I haven't done this every day since we've been here.

Of course, it will be very different when it rains, so for that reason, I'm going to find out about joining a gym on Monday. I just hope I can afford it because we haven't got much money until I start my new job next month.

I weighed myself yesterday, and I weigh 157lb - ouch! A bit heavier than I thought I was, but it explains why I've been feeling so crap lately. The good thing about it is that the first 10lb or so should come off fairly easily. I got down to 145lb easily before, so I should be able to do it again.

I got myself a ticker yesterday as well, to record my weight loss. I set it to start at 182lb, which is the weight I was at 3 years ago before I started my first diet, and got down to 145lb. I feel a bit like I'm cheating, but it's a very different feeling when I think I started at 182lb and I've ALREADY MADE ALL THIS PROGRESS, than if I'm right at the beginning. It was quite shocking when I saw my total to lose (from 182lb) was 56lb. How did I ever get so overweight?
 
While I think it's good to take a look at the "Why did I get so overweight?" it's a bit overwhelming when you're just getting started losing it.

You're where you're at, and you're taking steps to change it. That is a MAJOR step!

As you adapt your life style while losing weight, the why's will become apparent - and really won't be as important since the changes you're making in diet & exercise re-fine-tune your thought processes and will become the habits that you'll need to remain fit.

Best of luck to you and welcome to the WLF!
 
Thanks, M2M, for your welcome. I understand what you mean. I'm definitely going to a lifestyle change here, and I never want to go back to the old patterns that led to me putting on weight.

When my grandmother died, Mum put together the order of service for her funeral, and she found a picture of my gran when she was in her 30s (about the age I am now) to put on the front. I was quite shocked to see that her body shape then was a lot like mine is now. And this is the woman who needed two men to lift her when she was in her last months of life. It really made me think about what I'm doing with my life. That's not where I want to be when I'm in my 70s/80s.

I've been reading Steve's diary, which is full of loads of useful information, and I'll get back to it when I have some time. The trouble is, with all the extra questions and comments people post, it's growing practically as fast as I can read it, so it might take some time. So, I can refer back to it easily, here's what I posted this morning, and Steve's reply below.

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Hi Steve, I've been reading thorugh your diary (at least I managed the first 30 pages last night, so I still have a long way to go) and I think I'm getting a hang of the whole weight loss/muscle building thing. If I tell you what I think I understand, could you tell me if I'm making sense or if I'm still way off here?

1. You can't lose weight (fat) and build muscle at the same time.

2. If you eat at your maintenance level and don't exercise, your weight will stay the same.

3. If you eat around 200-300 calories below your maintenance level and don't exercise, you will lose weight. (I figure this weight loss will be pretty slow and steady.)

4. It's better to cut your calories by a small amount because if you go down to (say) 1200 calories, your body will go into starvation mode, and your weight loss will stall after a fairly short time.

5. If you are losing weight and not doing any resistance training, you will lose muscle as well as fat.

6. By doing the right amount/kind of resistance training while you are losing weight, you can force your body to lose fat, while you maintain the muscle you have. (I figure this will make it seem as if you get results quicker because the fat will disappear quicker, and you will start to see a better shape.)

7. If you eat above your maintenance level and do the right amount/kind of resistance training, you will gain muscle, but you will also gain some fat.

8. If you eat above your maintenance level and don't exercise at all, you will gain fat.

9. If you are wanting to lose weight, SS cardio will burn calories, but HIIT is better because it continues to burn calories after you stop exercising.

That's all I can think of right now.

I decided about a week ago that I wanted to lose more weight, and I immediately started with the cutting calories right down/doing lots of SS cardio approach. From reading your posts and seeing that's not the best way, I've increased my calories again, and I'm looking into the right kinds of exercise.

I'll probably be back to ask loads of questions, if that's OK with you.

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Hi, Ali is it? Thanks for taking the time.

You have a lot of the basics right.

Few comments.

With regards to number 2, maintenance can be achieved by eating more and exercising more too. It does not have to exclude exercise. Maintenance is simply the theoretical point where you are consuming just enough calories to sustain yourself, this including breathing, digesting, activity, etc. So if one of these variable go up, such as eating or exercising more, technically, you could eat more to retain maintenance.

With regards to number 3, any deficit will lead to a loss of tissue. However, the deficit that is optimal will be different for each person. I like to start with a 15-20% reduction from maintenance for most. However, things to keep in mind include, the more weight you have to lose, the deeper of a deficit you can go into without invoking a loss of lean tissue as well as the starvation response.

With regards to number 4, I mainly avoid very deep deficits (ex. maintenance is 3500 and cutting cals down to 1200) not so much for avoidance of the starvation response, but more-so for long term, lifestyle adherence. 1200 cals just isn't sustainable for most over the long haul, and with such a low cal intake, it becomes difficult to get all of the required nutrients in. The starvation response is an overly emphasized issue IMO, however, it is also a very real phenomenon. Does it halt weight loss entirely? No. See anorexia. Anorexics keep cutting to dangerous levels in caloric intake, and although the starvation response is triggered to try and sustain life, they go below any level of energy consumption that is manageable for your body, so it has no choice but to expend tissue. This said, you can see how invoking the starvation response is unnecessary. You don't want to play the game of always trying to stay below an ever-slowing metabolism, constantly having to cut cals.

With regards to number 5, whenever you invoke a calorie restriction or energy deficit, you will lose both muscle and fat.

With regards to number 9, HIIT is not necessarily better than SS cardio. This comment is very dependent on goal and individual. If your goal is weight loss, yes, energy balance is the ruler of success. And triggering a larger energy expenditure is optimal, which can be accomplished by use of HIIT types of training. However, since it is individual too, it may not be right for you. It depends on your health and fitness level. It is a very energy intensive mode of exercise, and if there are any medical issues (CAD, hypertension, hypercholesteralemia, etc) you should get cleared by a doc first. Also, if you have not previously conditioned yourself, it would be better to gradually work toward such an energy intensive exercise. Start with SS, move to IT, than HIIT. Progression is the name of the game.

Hopefully that adds to your understanding thus far. Feel free to stop by whenever you'd like.

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So, my first thought on this is that I'm probably best off to go for SS cardio for now, and build on that. And in any case, it was that that got me fit last time and got me through that bad asthma attack, so it's certainly something I'll want to include in the long term whatever else I do.

I'm still playing around with diet and exercise ideas and trying to figure out what's best for me, so I'll have more of a think on that later.

I went up to the gym in the village this morning, and had a look around. To my totally uneducated eye, it looks like they have all the equipment there that I'm likely to need, so I've left my phone number, and they're going to contact me to arrange an induction session. Hopefully that will help me to work out a good exercise plan too.

And I'm definitely going to carry on with the walking, whatever else I do. I'm really enjoying that.
 
Mal, I defy anyone living where I am to say they don't enjoy walking. It's some of the most beautiful countryside I've ever seen. I can walk for half an hour and I'm looking down at the sea. My partner and I went out walking for two hours today, mostly along the coast path, and it was wonderful.
 
This place is so unbelievably slow and frustrating. (I don't mean this forum - I mean Cornwall.) Every time I've applied for a job, it's taken so long to get an interview that I've pretty much given up (well, except one), then it's taken so long to hear that I've pretty much given up, and now that I have got a job, I've still got 5 weeks before I start. Which is actually a good thing (except that we don't have much money) because it means I can really concentrate on getting a good exercise routine in place.

But what's really bothering me at the moment in the slow-ness stakes is that I went to the gym on Tuesday to try to arrange an induction session. I had to leave my number so the PT could call me. She didn't call. I finally got her number so I could call her today, and she can't do anything until Monday. So, it takes nearly a week to get an induction session, and I can't use the gym until I've done the induction session. I want to get on and start using the gym while I'm still all fired up and enthusiastic about it.

Plus, I think it's going to be wet at the weekend, and walking in the rain is not a whole lot of fun. So I was relying on being able to use the gym to get my daily exercise.

Oh well ....

My weight has been 156 for 3 out of the last 4 days, so on the positive side, it looks as though something is starting to happen. I'm not going to update my ticker until tomorrow because that will be a week, and I'll update it with my average weight for the week. I think that will show most accurately how much I'm losing because it won't be subject to daily fluctuations.

I've walked 20 miles in the last 7 days. I'm going to aim to walk more than 20 miles in the next 7. (Even if I only manage 21, it will still be more. I don't want to start setting myself unattainable targets.)

And I had my medical today for my new job, which I passed with flying colours. Actually, I don't think the doctor who did it was interested in anything much other than the fee he was getting for it. He was ticking "no" to all the "have you ever suffered from ...." quesitons before I even had chance to answer them, and he took about 10 seconds to check my blood pressure. I'm sure if he'd checked it properly, it would have been high, because it's always high when I have it checked at the doctor's, and I was feeling so anxious about it. But at least it's another hurdle out of the way between now and starting. Then I've just got to get through the driving test and I'll be ready to go.
 
I LOVE THE GYM!!!

OK, so the novelty will probably wear off after a while, but at the moment I'm pretty excited about it.

I had my induction session this morning, which was great. I made sure I got my money's worth, and asked tons of questions, and had a good play on all the equipment. I don't really feel like I got much exercise though, so I shall go back this afternoon (now I can) and go and do my daily walk on the treadmill. The treadmill is my favourite thing at the moment. (It's also been hailing on and off for most of the day here, so walking inside definitely has its appeal, and I can still look at the sea through the window while I'm on the treadmill.) I'm back to loving living here again.

On Friday and Saturday, I did my favourite walk along the coast path (5 miles each day, so I'm 10 miles on the way to meeting my 21 mile target for the week). Friday was warm and sunny, one of those it's-so-wonderful-to-be-alive days. Saturday was cloudy, but the sea was an amazing shade of dark grey/green, so that kind of made up for the lack of sun. Yesterday, the weather was doing the hailing on and off thing, so I spent most of the day spring cleaning the house, which I'm sure burned at least as many calories as a 5 mile walk. L was amazed when she came home from work because I'm not usually enthusiastic about housework. I spent most of the evening following her around and clearing up after her, which I think drove her mad.

The PT I saw at the gym today is going to put together an exercise program for me, which I shall probably follow as far as it suits me. We talked about weights, and she said I should be doing low weight/high reps, which is completely the opposite of what Steve says, so I shall work out my own weights/number of reps there. I think she was quite surprised at the amount of weight I could handle, so I've obviously still got some muscle left from when I was physically active. It will be nice to see what it looks like when the layers of fat come off.

We're going out tonight with L's mum, for Mother's Day, to an Italian restaurant, so that will probably blow the diet. I wondor how long I'll need to spend on the treadmill to burn off a whole pizza .....
 
I still love the gym. I've been 4 out of 5 days so far this week (the other day L and I went for a 5 mile walk, which was really nice). I've been doing mostly the treadmill and elliptical so far, but got on the bike for the first time today, and I thought I was going to die!! I had to stop twice in 20 minutes to give myself a moment to recover before I could carry on, and when I stopped, the timer on the bike stopped counting down. Now that really is unfair.

Since I've never been good at running and I can keep going *forever* at 4mph on the treadmill, I've been experimenting with some IT by varying the gradient, but keeping the speed the same, and that seems to be working well. I can't believe that I feel fitter already. But I suppose I have been exercising now for over 2 weeks.

I've also been experiementing with resistance training, but I really am going to have to work out my own program with that because the PT I saw on Monday has given me a program of ridiculously low weight and high reps. I started out with the weights she gave me, and did the required number of reps without any effort at all, so I doubled the weight and halved the reps, and that seemed better. But I'm going to need a better plan than that for the long term.

My total miles walked for last week was 24, so I beat my target. I'm not going to set myself a new target because I'm experimenting with so much of the new equipment at the gym that it is eating into walking time. I'm still walking 2 - 3 miles every time I get on the treadmill, and going out for walks when the weather's nice, so I've hardly stopped walking altogether. L and I are planning to walk to a beach about 6 miles away one day when it's really warm weather, and take a picnic. It isn't warm enough to go in the sea without a wetsuit yet, but hopefully it soon will be.

I bought a protein supplement to try today because I've been worrying that I'm not getting enough protein. I decided not to have any this evening because I already pack a lot of calories into the last 6 - 8 hours of the day, but I'll try some tomorrow morning. Apparently, I can mix the powder with soya milk, which I like the taste of (and it will add more protein), and if I get bored with that I can put some food flavouring in it. L thinks I'm weird because I'm taking this new healthy weight loss thing so seriously.

And finally, my average weight for the last 7 days is 155.1lb, a loss of 1.2lb. I'm feeling amazingly positive about this. Long may it last.
 
I've been doing this for less than three weeks, and the change in me is amazing. I don't mean in the way I look, although L told me this morning that she thinks I've lost some "padding" off the backs of my thighs (I think she was just being nice). I mean I've changed so much in the way I feel. I still wouldn't like to go out in a bikini, but bikini weather is still a couple of months off, even though the weather was LOVELY today, but I feel so much more confident and happy. Sometimes, especially when I've just come back form the gym, I'll stand in front of the mirror, look at the fatty bits and say, "That has to go, and that has to go, and that ....." And I feel so positive because I'm actually starting to do something about it, and the change I want to see is happening - at least on the scales. It feels really good.

I meant to have an easy day today, but since the weather was so warm and sunny, L and I decided to go for a stroll along the coast path and take some photos to send back to my family. It turned into a 2 hour, 6 mile walk, and my legs were really tired when I got back. L has also said she wants me to show her round the gym tomorrow, so I can't possibly refuse. Hopefully I'll end up taking it pretty easy myself because I could really do with a decent rest day.

The scales seem to be continuing their general trend downwards, I'm not getting any cravings for cakes, sweets or fatty foods. Everything is going really well.
 
Well, it's been ages since my last diary entry. I was planning to write something every couple of days at least, but I don't seem to be managing that. At least I'm managing better than when I started a journal at the long hair site.

Five years ago, I stopped cutting my hair. I can't say I started growing it because that wasn't how it worked. It was really, really short at the time - think pixie cut - and I was just bored with it. At that length, there wasn't even any point in dying it, so I stopped getting it cut. It's probably one of the main reasons I visit this forum regularly. After two years, my hair had grown quite a bit. It was somewhere around my shoulders, and it was driving me mad. I had some encouragement from my partner to not get it cut again, but there was a part of me that wanted to get back to the ease of really short hair. (My hair is horribly unmanageable at any length between pixie and waist.) While I was looking for tips on how to control my hair better, I stumbled across a long hair forum. Some of the pictures people posted on there were so stunning, and their hair looked so gorgeous, that I hung around for a bit. Within a few days, I knew I wanted long, beautiful hair, and I'd found the place where I could learn how to get it. It was a huge learning curve. No blow drying (it's renamed the blow-fryer), no straightening, no chemical dyes. I was a regular visitor and occasional poster there for about a year and a half, while I changed my habits and developed new ways of caring for my hair. Now my hair is well past my waist, soft, silky, manageable, and beautiful. I plan to let it grow a few more inches, and then maintain it. I rarely visit the long hair site any more, but I know I couldn't have done it without the support and inspiration I got there.

So when I wanted to lose weight, the first thing I did was searched for a forum. And I was lucky enough to stumble across this one. Now here I am doing things I never thought I would do - like drinking protein shakes and lifting weights - in my quest for the body I really want.

The first protein shake I had was disgusting. Mixing it with soya milk didn't work. I mixed the next two with apple juice, and they weren't much better. But I was determined to persevere. Then I tried adding half a banana to the next one (I already have half a banana on my breakfast, so it seemed a good use for the other half). I wonder if I'm the first person to create the protein smoothie. Probably not. Anyway, I come home from my workout now looking forward to my protein shake.

I think I may be spending too much time at the gym. There is such a thing as overdoing it, I believe. I did manage to have a rest day on Wednesday. I just went to the gym with L and showed her how everything works. She's really keen now, and plans to go on both her days off, which kind of messes up my plans because I was planning to have one of her days off as my regular rest day. On the plus side of my frequent gym visits, the guy on the desk told me today that I'm looking fitter. Apparently, when I first started there, I came down the stairs at the end of my workout looking like a beetroot. Now I just have a healthy glow. Well, I had noticed that I wasn't getting as red in the face as when I started. I just thought it meant I wasn't working hard enough!

I do feel better about myself. I'm aching a bit today because I did resistance training and an hour of cardio, and it's my TOM, but dinner tonight is an 800 calorie cheese-fest - with wine, so I needed to burn a few extra calories!! And Doctor Who is back on tonight. At 7pm we'll be sat down, dinner on lap, glass of wine in hand, ready to watch the wonderful David Tennant saving the world again. Some people claim that our Saturday nights in are boring. They don't know what they're missing.

It was update day yesterday, and I've lost 2lb, bringing my weight down to 153.1 (under the 11 stone mark). I've also lost half an inch off my waist and half an inch off my bust (the latter of which was expected, but no more welcome for that). Why can't I lose it off my hips where I really want to get rid of it? Why is my body so perverse that it insists on dumping the little bust I've got before it moves on to the bits I would like to see less of? Part of the reason I let myself stay overweight for so long was because I was quite attached to my B cup.

It's sunny here today, and quite warm. Maybe we're going to get another spell of decent weather.
 
Man, I know exactly how that is! When I had gained my weight, of course, my bust got bigger as well. So I too was scared to lose weight because I knew that would get smaller again! So I totally understand how that is. But eventually I got over it and though, what's the use of having a bigger bust when everything else is huge!

Anyways, I just want to congradulate you on your weight loss! I also read your post on when you weren't weighing yourself and lost the 35 pounds or so, but then it slowly came back a bit because you weren't monitoring it. I'm glad you were able to stop it before you gained a lot back, that's awesome! But I agree with you that monitoring is important, even if it's once a week or two, at least you'll know if you're still on the right track, or if you have to make some improvements. I think that's how people gain weight in the first place, thinking they're doing ok, and not monitoring how their weight and it just keeps creeping up! I know that was the case for me anyhow. I just wanted to say that was a great post!
 
Hey fellow spring flinger!
I totally relate to the " shrinking boobs " syndrome! Had to talk myself into accepting it. The way i look at it, smaller bust with a defined waist rather than huge ones where one can't figure out where they start & where my stomach ends!:)
 
Hi, and thanks both of you for your posts. I know what you mean about having a bigger bust but the rest of you being huge. I think maybe it was an excuse for me. You know the kind of thing - "I can't be bothered to try and lose all this weight, and I like eating cakes and desserts and lots of chocolate, so ..... I'm really quite happy with my bust the way it is now, so I'll focus on that instead of the rest of my body. Looks at those boobs in the mirror. Don't they look nice? No, I'm definitely not going to start dietting and lose this lovely bust." And then something happens, that trigger that most of us have when we realise it's time, and things like that don't really matter any more. We just know the most important thing is to lose the weight.

Risty, I've probably gone from not monitoring at all to excessive monitoring now. I justify it by saying an average weight over the week is a more accurate indication of my weight loss than my weight on one day a week. I think that is true - I've weighed 153lb on both of the last two Fridays, so if I'd gone by those figures I would have lost nothing this week and that would have been depressing as well as inaccurate - but it's really just an excuse to weigh myself every day because I can't stay off the scales! I've also been measuring my bust, waist and hips on Fridays, and last Friday I added upper arm, thigh and calf as well (those three being places I'd like to see results). I've had to set up a spreadsheet to keep track of it all!
 
OK, I'm just going to follow Exotic Wind around while we say hello to all the Spring Flingers :)
 
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