Looking for Motivation and Accountability

J

JenCeb

New member
Hi All,

So I'm new to this whole weight-loss forum thing. I've struggled with my weight my entire life. Here's a little brief bio.


I'm 33 years old

I weight 230 lbs

I'm 5'3" on a good day ;)


Just in January, I quite my full time teaching job to go back to school full time, and I'm living with my parents while being fully supported by them in all ways (financially, emotionally, etc...)


I go to school early in the morning and in the evening. During the day I take care of my 5 yr old niece and 4month old nephew. My 90 year grandma also lives here and has paranoid dementia and requires 24 hour watching (she can never be left alone) Both my parents work and the first one to get home isn't until 8pm. (That's the time I can start to plan to do things, but usually by then i just want to sit and watch t.v. or i need to study) (And as much as I know as I should be understanding to her condition, she drives me absolutely batty with her crazy, mean, old lady thoughts)


I don't find myself attractive and I can fake confidence in front of others. I've never had a boyfriend because my confidence level never let me open myself up. My 2 friends are both bigger girls as well and neither of them are serious about making a change for themselves, though they complain about it. My family isn't willing to make changes either, but they all can stand to lose some weight themselves. When I tell them I want to lose weight and I need their support, they say sure and they'll help, but it doesn't help when they don't change their habits and just pick out my many bad habits. And when we cook, we cook for the entire family. (When they make bacon in the morning, how do you turn it down? Or Ice Cream after dinner?)


I know what foods are healthy, and when the choice is there usually will pick the healthier foods, but portion control is a big factor for me. I eat until I'm stuffed. I eat when I'm bored. I eat when I'm upset. I eat while studying and doing homework. I have a gym membership, but don't find the time, nor have the motivation anymore to go over there by myself to work out. I used to. I lost 30 lbs once by working out and eating Lean Cuisines , but I was able to do that with a bunch of girls at work and we were each others support group and accountability. (All that weight has been put back on)


And though I have this want to change, to be healthier and pretty, I need help in getting motivated enough to stand up to the challenge. Is this possible? Can someone help me find this motivation, or is this something I need to keep searching for first, on my own?


Thanks for taking the time to read this,
 
Good Morning,


I just woke up from a dream that I want to remember. I had dreamt that I had made it on to the Biggest Loser. After some misunderstandings in the beginning, I was on a team. Bob Harper was my coach. I remember working out and running and it was Bob's unique form of "encouragement" that kept me moving and pushing forward. He wasn't his usual self and yelling at me, but had enough force behind his voice to keep me going. Then I woke up.

Its this kind of forceful encouragement I need to get me going again. So much is going on in my life I find it so hard to encourage myself. It's just easier to give in to what is just easier than to stop and think what is better for me. Its easier to just sit still, then to convince myself to get up and move. I need a Bob Harper in my pocket at all times to put me on the right path again and do what is what is best for me.
 
I understand completely. I'm not exactly as old as you (I'm only 19), but I'm going to college and since my family's budget is tough we buy food that all of us can eat (fresh grocery food is out of the question). If someone cooks bacon or spam, we all eat bacon or spam. They are verbally supportive, but in reality my house environment is anything but healthy.


The important thing is to find a support group online. Since your real life is not working out, hang out with us a bit. I found these forums immensely helpful because of the supportive community. You could also have a running food journal of your calories, workouts, etc. so you can keep track of everything so eating habits don't get out of hand.


I also recommend frozen food if you can't eat Fresh.


At Costco, this is my usual shopping list:


6 lb bag of Normandy Vegetables (Broccoli, Cauliflower, Carrots, etc.) - $8.00

A 6.5 lb frozen bag of Chicken Thighs - $14.00

Wheat Bread (White) - $4.00 for two loaves

3 lb Extra Lean Ham Slices - $11.00

2 30oz French's Mustard - $5.00

6 Heads of Lettuce (do not freeze) - $3.00



TOTAL: $45.00


I sometimes switch between Asian, Broccoli Florets, Chicken/Shredded Pork, etc. Whatever I'm craving.


For about $50 you can have 2 weeks-1 month worth of food! Membership also costs $50 a year.


Good luck! Your permanent weight loss journey starts now! You can do it =)
 
I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but you need to be your own motivation. Having family and friends around to support you always makes a big difference and help a lot, but if you're not truly doing this for yourself and only yourself, it's not going to stick for very long.

That being said, I'm new here too, and I think you'll find that there are a lot of people willing to give you advice and motivation. Good luck!
 
Thank you all for your comments!


Thank you Detecher,
I agree, my life does need some simplifying. I won't be able to get rid of the kids anytime soon, as my sister's other sitter was her in-laws and they moved away. I was her last resort, as she can't afford daycare, (she looked into it) as for g-ma, she refuses to leave the house and she's not in a wheelchair. I have no school during the summer, and someone is home in the morning, so I think I'll try and workout in the morning before my parents leave for work and let them have the kids and g-ma for a little bit. Maybe the "feel good" endorphins can help me deal with g-ma a little better.


JayCanDoIt

Thank you for your encouragement and ideas. I am encouraging my family to buy more veggies. At least when i do snack it'll be healthier calories.


Aliceinwander

I agree with you, self motivation is the best motivation. That's how I lost my first 30lbs and i had a great support system along the way, now I don't have a great support system, and my self motivation isn't high either. I'm hoping to find motivation and encouragement here so that I will find it easier to be making the better choices for myself.


Good luck to all of you on your journey's as well!
 
Hey JenCeb -


I know it sounds silly, but do you leave yourself notes? I bought some of the Crayola markers you can use on glass and leave myself notes on my mirror - I track everything from how much I've lost to little reminders like "Hard Work....Dedication!" to remind me to keep going.


I figure every little bit helps and when you have one of those tough days, I find that these silly little notes to some how keep me going.


Best of luck to you!
 
Motivation is a tough one but a few things that might help are:

to read through the other forums posts around here and see how others have made it through their journey

listen to podcasts on health and fitness (Nutrition Diva and Fat2Fit Radio and countless others)

Set goals and track your progress: weight, ability to complete different exercises, measurements, size of your clothes (don't just make it about losing weight)


Best of luck on your journey,
 
Yeah!!!! Yesterday was the last day of all my classes. So I told myself that I'll continue to wake up at the same time I did for class and use that time to go to the gym instead. So here I am, lying in bed trying to convince myself to get up and go to the gym instead of going back to sleep. Its all a catch 22. I'm tired because I lack energy , working out would help with that lack of energy, I don't want to work out because I'm tired. So on and so on. Its a mind over matter idea. I just need to do it. It doesn't help that its not my favorite thing to do and I hold no accountability to anyone for it. Ok. here I go, there's no looking turning back. Up out of bed, and going to the gym. TTYL
 
one foot in front of the other, and here's hoping you're already out the door and will be finished your workout before you even read this.


If you have already worked out: Way to go!!! :hurray:


If you haven't already worked out: Get moving!!:smash:
 
Thanks FeelingGooder!!!


I had to laugh because I did read your post just before I left, Thanks for the extra push out the door, but I did make it to the gym and did the elliptical for an hour.

And thanks for the encouragement on my workout. Now to convince myself to do it again tomorrow.
 
Hey Jen, I understand lack of motivation, it ain't easy. Here are some questions -


If your parents and funding your meals, maybe add some salad fixings to the shopping list? Be specific, too. My wife had a friend who knew we were trying to lose weight, so she ordered a veggie pizza just for us.... Cuz half a pound of mozzerella on bread is healthy??? Should have requested that she order us a turkey grinder, or a salad.

If it's hard to exercise in the morning, how about the afternoon? Or before you go to bed? I've tried over and over to make mornings work for me, especially since I'm an early riser, but I've had the best luck doing it after my daughter goes to bed, and before dinner (I have a rower and a Total Gym in my basement).

If you have a smartphone, there are apps that track caloric intake and output. I use LoseIt with pretty good success, even though that first week was tough.

Don't let one bad day bring you down. I plan to cheat on every Sunday, plus a floater or two, depending on how much I'm rowing that week. And I have a rest day from exercise. Good to rest the muscles, and the day after I rest, I'm chomping at the bit to start again.



And like others have said - look at the other diaries on here. There are a lot of "I feel like giving up" endings to those - don't be one of them! Even if you feel like giving up, remember the end goal: a healthier you! Good luck.
 
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