all my life i've been a bully among my friends but i was bullied by the other people...i saw my brother get beat up so i got strong so it wouldn't happen to me or i could help him next time and now nobody ****s with me and i'm a nicer guy in the bullying sence....but in that tiem frame is still never increased my self esteem or confidence because of acne and i took Acutane which gives mood swings and possible suicidal thoughts, and i had them quite frequetly so i stopped taking the meds (sometimes i wish i hadn't now..) i've been clean off them for about a 6-8 months and i'm gettin crazy mood swings again, i'm ****in pissed right now at nothing and theres nothign that can cheer me up...
lately i've been worknig at a place run by unexperienced guys in their early 20's and working with an alcoholic/heavy marijuana smoker and i've taken alot of **** but they're nice and gave me time off when i needed it...I've been going to the gym also but have not been in 2 weeks because of motivation/attitude and likeliness of myself lately...I'm also startign a new job with better employee's and such but i'm finding it really hard to quit my other job which is increasing my stress a great deal..i also have track after school till about 4 and get maybe 1 day off work a week if i am lucky...
I honestly think the lack of gym is what is causes these swings but cannot find any time to go, I said i would start going mon wed fri but i have no motivation to even get going, I was on my way there today but i hear my gf was goign to a movie with her friend and thats when i got pissed (cuz she'd rather go with her friend than me i guess..)now i'm at home hating myself cuz thats how i am, i push everything aside when i'm happy then when i get mad i just hate myself and everythign about me...
this is probabaly really confusing...i just need help getting through this and can't go to my parents or other family members or friends or anyone cuz thats the kind of person i am...
thanks for any help, ask questions to have things clarified plz..
lately i've been worknig at a place run by unexperienced guys in their early 20's and working with an alcoholic/heavy marijuana smoker and i've taken alot of **** but they're nice and gave me time off when i needed it...I've been going to the gym also but have not been in 2 weeks because of motivation/attitude and likeliness of myself lately...I'm also startign a new job with better employee's and such but i'm finding it really hard to quit my other job which is increasing my stress a great deal..i also have track after school till about 4 and get maybe 1 day off work a week if i am lucky...
I honestly think the lack of gym is what is causes these swings but cannot find any time to go, I said i would start going mon wed fri but i have no motivation to even get going, I was on my way there today but i hear my gf was goign to a movie with her friend and thats when i got pissed (cuz she'd rather go with her friend than me i guess..)now i'm at home hating myself cuz thats how i am, i push everything aside when i'm happy then when i get mad i just hate myself and everythign about me...
this is probabaly really confusing...i just need help getting through this and can't go to my parents or other family members or friends or anyone cuz thats the kind of person i am...
thanks for any help, ask questions to have things clarified plz..
