Learning to love myself(with or without weightloss)

C

catherine2

New member
I'm here because I'm finally becoming serious about losing weight, I've put it off for a long time... really because it required me to face a lot of emotions.

I come from a family where the closest women in my family struggled with their weight. As a child I'd hear them talk about weight loss in a really negative way.. like, I need to lose weight before I can buy or wear a dress, the attitude that they aren't valid or acceptable without weight loss, and that really rubbed off and influenced how I see myself as an adult, and feeling like being overweight is something shameful.
But, I'm teaching myself I'm not useless until I'm thin, and my weight loss journey is about me embracing myself as I am and loving myself as I am in every stage and size of my life(and, if I don't lose weight and I'm meant to be big, then that's okay too). :hurray:

A bit about me. My names Catherine, I'm from Canada. I'm waiting to write my GED, then I want to study Vegan Culinary Arts. I like knitting, reading, animals(especially guinea pigs!), and gardening. I also struggle with agoraphobia, so it's easier for me to put on weight(I do notice a big improvement when I exercise though).

A bit about my diet. I'm a vegan(not for weight loss), I've been vegan for over 2 years now. For the first year of being vegan I ate too many carbs, especially bread and rice, not enough fresh food and protein, so weight loss was a struggle. I have a Naturapath, and we talked about diet and exercise, which has been a big help. I stopped eating wheat and sugar, and when I tried eating them again I noticed I'm sensitive to them. So, now I only eat Ezekiel bread and agave or maple syrup for sweetener.
I'm very interested in raw foodism, I'm trying to transition myself to eating 70% raw and 30% cooked, there's a lot to learn and right now I'm at 50% raw 50% cooked. My issue with raw foodism is that I try to be a locavore, and in the winter I rely a lot on preserves or food I've blanched and froze.. so, for me it's not that sustainable, but while the fresh food is in abundance I'll be eating lots of it. I also eat raw hemp protein powder and add it to smoothies.

For exercise, I have an exercise bike. I plan on riding that an hour a day 5 days a week, it's in my living room so I could watch The Office as I ride! I'm learning Tai Chi, and maybe as I become more fit I'll start doing pilates again(they're so hard!). I'm also looking into getting some small weights, I have flabby upper arms and I'd like to work on toning those.
I'd like to be at 150 pounds in maybe about 4 months, I don't want to be unrealistic, and I know it's after the first 6 weeks when I'll really start to notice a difference. I want a healthy weight for my body shape and my height, I'm 5'3. I don't know what that is, but for now my goal is 150 pounds.

So, here's to reclaiming my health, mentally and physically, and loving myself regardless of my size!
 
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That is a wonderful attitude and I think that you are off on the right path. Only when we are able to accept and love ourselves is when we are able live with ourselves and continue to improve.
 
Hi!

You sound like your head is in the right space, and I have an exercise bike to, and yeh its waayyy easier doing it in front of your favourite TV show!

I know what you mean though, about not "deserving" things cos of you size. I feel like for the past couple of years I've constantly been (particulary with clothes) I'll buy it when I lose weight or I'll do this or that when I've lose weight! So good luck on reclaiming yourself, I'm sure it'll feel great when you get there :D
 
Meece001 & Njoyable - thank you so much for your kind and understanding comments.

Yesterday went well. I stretched 15 minutes and rode my exercise bike for 40 mins. After 40 mins I was exhausted, and I tried to maintain a steady pace so I could ride longer. I felt that sort of high feeling you get after a good work out, it's a feeling I dislike, but when that fades away I feel level headed for a good 24 hours.
For food I've also been doing well. I'm not counting calories, I have no interest in that. I had some avocado sushi, cucumber hummus, oatmeal(steel cut), protein smoothie, quinoa with daal and sunflower seeds, corn on the cob, steamed potatoes, and a bowl of mixed greens with almonds and pecans. I also had plenty of liquids, green tea and lemon juice in warm water
...and chocolate. Nibbled on a bit throughout the day. :angel: I don't feel guilty about eating chocolate though, it's a super food!
Right now I feel good and motivated. I struggle with breakfasts though, I can never figure out what to eat.

What's really helped me to have a healthier attitude towards food was to have a relationship with my food. To know where it is grown, to grow it myself, to prepare it all entirely myself. Getting to know herbs and spices, what they do and how they work together. Learning what grows seasonally, and eating accordingly. I feel like I flow with the seasons as I eat, and I'm in tune with the world around me.
OK, so I know I sound all hippie-dippie. But hey, I probably am.

I've also deciding I'm going to photograph myself, to record my progress. I'll take a picture every 2 weeks. I like making weight loss something fun!
 
Taking photos is a great idea! Means you can look back and see the progress! Good luck with your goals, I'll be rooting for ya!
 
So far I've been doing really well. I'm eating about 70% raw, and although I'm going through that not so fun detox period I still feel really good. I'm eating small meals throughout the day, whenever I feel hungry, and I stop at 7:30 at night.
Trying to get over psychological hunger is the hardest, sometimes all I want is bread and cake and seitan hot dogs... all of the foods that make me feel ill and keep on the weight. To help with my cravings I made a fabulous cheesecake out of nuts, dates, lemon, ginger and maple syrup. The great thing about eating raw is you can make so many yummy foods and you don't feel sluggish or ill after eating them, and they're healthy!
I've been doing decent with my exercise bike, I haven't quite gotten into riding every day, I've been doing every other day. I'm finding I sleep better and rise easier when I ride it daily, and for someone who's always struggled with sleeping it's been great motivation to exercise.
Unfortunately, my scale is broken.. more broken than before, and I can't do a weekly weigh in. Today I think I'll go pick one up though.
This website has really helped me stay motivated!
 
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