*Lauren's Weight Loss Diary*

C

cpm0815

New member
Hi guys I'm Lauren, 19, from Hong Kong. I'm new to the forum, I've always wanted to lose weight since I became more to the fat side but I'm a super lazy person so none of my attempts lasts. This time I swear I'm gonna lose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle..

Motivation: I'm going through a horrible breakup, it's been 3 months and I still can't get him out of my mind for like a second... I'm experiencing depression and I'm constantly crying and groaning about the breakup. Sometimes I don't know if I can hold on anymore, it's just too painful to have to go through this. I know he didn't break up with me because I'm fat, but I still want to have a better body, a healthier life and a positive energy/vibe/attitude and hope that when someday he starts to miss me and check out my status and find out that I've become better and prettier, he'll give this relationship another try:) I know it's really dumb of me to even think that there's a chance that he'll come back to me after every cruel thing he's done to me and I know it's not the healthiest motivation, but I really need this motivation in my life right now to keep me going...

Past: I started gaining weight in the age of about 14-15, mostly because I have a VERY unhealthy diet and I never exercise. I don't eat breakfast, eat normal at lunch and eat a lot at dinner which is the opposite of a healthy diet...... and I love eating snacks, they just taste so good.. I rarely drink water. So you get why I'm fat:D I gained a lot of fat, they were distributed evenly in all of my body parts, especially my belly (you can see the photos I attached, I just took them)

Current:
Age 19
Height 5'3 (160cm)
Weight 55kg (121lbs)
I use kg as the measuring unit and I just convert it to lbs online so the lbs readings may not be accurate.
I think my legs look a bit thinner in the photo than in real life, but whatever, I'll be using weights and photos to monitor my progress anyway so we'll see if there's any changes.
You can see my arms are pretty fat too...
I'll update the detailed measures of my body parts tomorrow.
View attachment 23839 View attachment 23838 View attachment 23840 View attachment 23841

Goals:
Weight 48kg (~105lbs) *Time frame: in 3 months, is it realistic?
Body parts I wish to burn fat the most: My big belly > arms > legs
I think my butt is kinda big too for someone my size (what do you guys think?), which I actually like it. But they ain't in good shape now so I will try to do some butt lift workout too.

Routines:
- Start to eat breakfasts, eat less in dinners; and try to eat less in every meal
- More veggies, less/no sugar and snacks
- Drink mostly water
- Following a beginner workout program online (a 4-week one)
- Plus a butt workout program
- Maybe plus some 'losing belly fat' workout on youtube too
- Try to get up early and sleep early (I'll be trying but it's really hard for me...)



Thank you for reading all this:) I'll starting tomorrow (13th July 2016) because tonight I'll have a hotpot dinner so I guess I'll taking in many calories... Start fresh the next day! :D
 
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Hi Lauren and welcome to the forum! First off: you are NOT FAT. I don't know what your ex has been telking you but you don't need to lose a lot of weight. You can lose some, if you want to, but I'm pretty sure just eating healthier and moving more would get you toned and fit at your current weight. Which brings me to the second point: is there any way you can get some counselling sessions? I don't know you, or your situation, but my first impression is that your ex has been messing with your head. If you're not sure, have a look at captainawkward.com under relationship issues. Hope you feel better soon and you stick around here :)
 
Oh, honey. I read your diary today, while my Mum was dying, & I thought that I must come back later to say what LaMa has already said. You are so NOT FAT. :iagree: with everything that LaMa said, as I almost always do. I am sending your ex a great big slap right now. He has a lot to answer for & you deserve much better than him. Big hugs to you Lauren :grouphug: & welcome to our lovely forum, xoxo Cate
 
LaMaria said:
Hi Lauren and welcome to the forum! First off: you are NOT FAT. I don't know what your ex has been telking you but you don't need to lose a lot of weight. You can lose some, if you want to, but I'm pretty sure just eating healthier and moving more would get you toned and fit at your current weight. Which brings me to the second point: is there any way you can get some counselling sessions? I don't know you, or your situation, but my first impression is that your ex has been messing with your head. If you're not sure, have a look at captainawkward.com under relationship issues. Hope you feel better soon and you stick around here :)
Click to expand...

Thank you so much:) I'm happy to hear that I'm not fat:p But I live in Hong Kong, people here are just so slim, I'm always considered to be a bit fat. I hope being here would give me motivation to improve my shape and most importantly my lifestyle. And I think being in a good shape helps improve my mood which is what I need right now:cry: I'm thinking of going to my school counselor to talk about it after school starts, but I'm not sure if it helps. I've been sharing my feelings with my friends and I ain't getting any happier...:cry: I'm so hung up on him and stuck in this relationship that I don't know if I could ever recover or if I could ever meet someone like him again... Anyway, I'll take a look at Captainawkward's website and hope that it helps:) Thank you again, have a nice day:D
 
cate said:
Oh, honey. I read your diary today, while my Mum was dying, & I thought that I must come back later to say what LaMa has already said. You are so NOT FAT. :iagree: with everything that LaMa said, as I almost always do. I am sending your ex a great big slap right now. He has a lot to answer for & you deserve much better than him. Big hugs to you Lauren :grouphug: & welcome to our lovely forum, xoxo Cate
Click to expand...

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, I hope she's doing better:( And thank you for being so nice, it means a lot:) I know I'm not exactly overweight, but I think I'm still heavier than "normal" (I think it depends on countries, I look like a cow standing next to other girls in HK..:blush5:) My ex was a great guy, I just don't understand why he's changed so much after the breakup. I think I could handle a breakup, what I couldn't handle is that he's treating me like a garbage and that my feelings and time don't matter...:frown: But I'll be better, that's why I need to change;) Thank you Cate, hugs to you too:):grouphug:
 
Oh, dear. You could not possibly look like a cow. I know what you mean though, because I went to Vietnam in 2006 & felt like a massive giant! In comparison to almost everyone there I was- 5'8" & 111kg :)eek:). That was the catalyst to me losing 36kg. I would still look fat to them in comparison, but I know I'm not. I'm looking forward to you loving yourself & realising that you deserve to be treated better. Thanks for the hugs back sweetie, xoxo
 
On the other hand: I always felt like a cow next to my classmates even when we were the same size and weight (or when I was the thinner one). So part of it is definitely in our heads, even though I understand what you mean. Hope you´ll feel better soon.
 
Thank you so much Cate and LaMa, I'm so grateful that I have your support:)

13/7 update:
So today I tried so hard to get up early to have breakfast, but I failed:ambivalence: I woke up at 9am and playing with my phone for half an hour, and when I finally decided to get out of bed to make breakfast, I fell asleep:oops:
Last night, my friends told me that my ex is probably not happy about me still hung up on him, thus getting into his way of meeting other girls.... There's like nothing that can make me feel worse than this..:( Today I don't even have appetite to eat anything, like I'm just not hungry. I wish I could find a way to forget him. I was doing revision and I just couldn't focus. His face just kept popping up in my head. I even screamed "JUST GET OUT OF MY HEAD ALREADY" like a crazy person.
I promise I'm gonna eat something at dinner..
Good thing: I drank a lot of water
 
Getting broken up with sucks. That's just a fact of life. I got dumped once after only... 9 months or so? And it took a full year until I no longer got the shivers from just seeing his (pretty common) name or smelling his after shave on some random guy in the street. But I had the big advantage of being 30 and knowing from my own experience it'd get easier. So don't beat yourself up over it. Don't try to contact him anymore, spend time with your friends (preferably doing things he didn't do with you), learn to speak Klingon or play rugby... It takes time, but new experiences will take the edge of your rawness.
 
Thank you LaMa, I know I won't be getting over him in a short period, but I'd try to find something new to do in my life to help me get pass this difficult time. I'm glad you recovered from that, I wish you nothing but happiness in the future:)
Last night I had a dream of him dying in front of my face, I woke up and I was so scared. At that exact moment I realized all I ever wanted is for him to be healthy and happy. If he's safe and truly enjoys his life, then I'll be okay... My friends say I'm really crazy to even defend him right now. I guess I'm crazy. But I'm lucky to have met him in my life. Even though he's turned into someone I hardly recognize anymore, I hope he's just lost, I hope he'll find himself back after this ridiculously loose messy uni life he's having is over. He stood there by my side during my most desperate and difficult time (well now that I look back, that time does not seem so difficult anymore...) so I want to have a little faith in him now:( He was more than just my boyfriend, he was my best friend, my family and my soulmate. He didn't just exist in my life, he lived my life with me. That's why it's so hard for me to let go. But you're right, I won't contact him again. I will let time does its job.
 
13/7 update:
Dinner: I had a vegetable hash brown and a box of fruits.
Going to do a 20-min full body workout for beginners later before I sleep.
 
OK so I weighed myself just now, and found that my weight has already been lowered to 53kg, I guess it's because I was eating too little the past 2 days. But I don't think it's gonna help with my shape and toning, so I must really be stricter about my diet and do workouts regularly.

I'm looking at some breakfast ideas on youtube right now, I wanna try the egg&avocado toast out so bad but I don't have avocado. I'm gonna buy it tomorrow and try it out the next morning:)
 
I love egg & avocado together. It will be good for you to find a distraction from your ex & it will get better with time. Not being nasty about him is a sign of your good character in my opinion. You will be happy again & you will find someone else. Let your heart be open to life & what comes along, xo Cate.
 
What Cate said. Plus: that first quick drop is often partly due to retaining less water as when you start to eat less, you automatically take in less salt and carbs. I´m glad you´re focusing on health/shape more than on the kilos though.
 
Hiya! I was just catching up on your diary quickly, welcome, and I hope you find the support you need here!

One more time: YOU ARE NOT FAT, I promise. But I totally understand that "comparative fat" feeling ;)

You are very mature in your attitude to getting over your ex - or at least accepting that at least for now you can't be together.

I always think that if for whatever reason my fiancée and I were to break up, the only thing I would want for him is that he goes on to have a happy life. When you love someone enough to let them go - that's when you realise just by doing that, you are loving yourself too. You will give yourself enough space to get back to who you are, in yourself, without him as a "part of you".

All the best for the rest of this week!
 
Thank you again Cate and LaMa, I'm feeling better (emotionally) since I was on this forum and started to lose weight:)
And thank you Anke for reading my diary and the support:D You all are very kind:angel: And yes I actually feel like I have grown up a bit since the breakup, which is good for both me and him:) It's easier for me to let him live his life for now when I think of how happy he is:)

So a little update: (if not specified, I'm only drinking water throughout the day)
14/7:
Still no appetite for lunch so waited until dinner, I can't remember the exact amount but I ate 1 bowl of rice+water spinach+eggplants+fish+few small pieces of beef

15/7: Finally up for breakfast!
Breakfast: Blueberry+PB Overnight oats
Lunch: 6 octopus balls (don't know if you guys have heard of it. It's Japanese food to be exact. Not really a healthy food, but I suddenly craved for it so:p)
Dinner: The unfinished overnight oats+half of a fried egg+1 bowl of rice+flowering cabbage+3 mini chicken wings

And in between each meal I ate seaweed (the snack type), couldn't help it:cry:

So I have this weird thing: I only have appetite at dinner (and breakfast, if I get up early enough to have it) and I have no appetite at lunch... So when I wake up late I can only eat 1 meal a day because I'd have skipped breakfast and I wouldn't want to have lunch at all:( I know I should be eating less at dinner, so what should I do? PS: I tried to eat less at dinner like on 13/7, but then at night I sometimes feel very dizzy:(
 
Anyway it's 16/7 today and I'm having egg&avocado sandwich for breakfast. TBH it's my first time eating avocado and man, it's totally not my thing. I hate its smell and taste:confused: but I think avocado and egg is a good combination so I could still barely finish the sandwich:ack2::ack2:
 
It's not compulsory Lauren :D but you made me laugh. I used to hate avocado too, but now love it.
Keep trying different healthy combos & you'll strike one you love :)
 
It tastes just like rotten grass:D:ack2::ack2: Now I have 3 avocado left in my fridge and I'm thinking what to do with them:willy_nilly:

16/7:
Breakfast: Egg&avocado sandwich
Dinner: Hainanese chicken rice (My mom bought take-out)

17/7:
Woke up late, only ate dinner: Rice+2 boiled chicken slices+fish+spinach+some melon and watermelon slices
Snack: peanut crackers, seaweed (I feel so guilty right now:p)

I'm heading to Mcdonald's later for breakfast, and I'm suddenly craving subway (I want to eat turkey&ham so bad!!!! And it's so expensive to buy turkey here:cry:) I guess I can finally have lunch today:D
 
I'm thinking I should start meal preping in September (when school starts) so I can save money&time and monitor my diet. I used to just have subway for lunch when I had class, guess it's time for a change:)
 
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