Knee deep in CHANGE FOR LIFE!

K

katbarlow

New member
I really want to focus, most days lol, on how i can change my way of thinking about food. For most of my life i have been tormented by food! i know your thinking 'oh gosh, another dramatic blame it on food' but really im not..im being realistic so here goes
every morning my daddy would wake us up by yelling breakfast is ready and boy when you took a deep breath you could smell it!!! i couldnt wait! fried bologna, fat back, bacon with cheese melted on it, big glass of milk, grits with a pool of butter melting and a slice of cheese melting on top! im southern ok! lol
lunch....'lunch is ready, come in and eat!' woohoo!! my brother and i had just played a raging game of army in the neighboorhood and we were starving, our trays were on the floor with a good ole t.v. dinner of fried chicken mashed potatoes and greasy mac and cheese and a big glass of pepsi!
alwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaayssss had icecream or a nutty butty on hand:) for snacks or daddy would open me a big ole bag of potato chips and we'd just eat right out of the bag..before you knew it i had eaten almost half of the bag just watching t.v.
supper.....'put down the video game or pause it and come get your sandwich" my bro and i were always very irratated to hear this bc we would starve just to get to the next level on mario brothers nintendo!! lol daddy also had us a fried bologna sandwich with duke's mayo and cheese and i loved this! i didnt know it was because we were poor..i just thought it was good eating! lol and of course chips or a chocolate bar to go along with it...
so as i child obvivously i became very obese....i replay the moment that i went to try out for gymnastics when i was about 8 or 9 bc i wanted to be like the other girls....i kept my outfit on that whole day after tryouts and i was so excited and then my mother sat me down and told me about the call she just recieved...coach said you didnt make it honey...said you were too big to be on his team of girls....
so what if i couldnt do a chartwheel!!!! so what if i couldnt even do a flip! who cares!!! daddy said NEVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH!! THEY WILL SEE WHAT THEY LOST!
right then i felt this anger inside that i still to this day struggle with....why have i let that one incident influence my life??? well for good reasons now but then i didnt know what to do with the anger...so i ate...and i starved myself...and i ate...and i starved...and i over exercised..and i over slept....i didnt know how to balance it....
in highschooli finally started getting taller and started in a weight lifting class and i finally got it!! kat you have to exercise and eat and be happy and keep going and do this!!! so i did and i was healthy...until my got pregnant with both my boys (that are 10 months apart might i add) lol and i became very tired and confused and i just ate and ate....this time..my excuse was "i will be the best mother i can be and i will dive into my kids life and i dont need anyone else' so thats what i did! then i said the same thing about my new career and i went back to school and earned a good living and emersed myself in my job! so ....for the next years and now my kids are 9 and 10 and i have been in this career for 6 years i poured all i had into that...never going out...never letting people see me...i just hid...and ate
so now im 234ish lbs and i NEED TO CHANGE MY MIND SET!!!
one way i am trying to do this is by joining all of you...so i can be accountable for what i eat and when i exercise and be inspired by all of you and how courageous you all are!!!! so thank you for reading my journey so far and i would LOVE ANY ADVICE!!!
NEVER GIVE UP AND STAY KNEE DEEP IN CHANGING YOUR LIFE SO YOU CAN HAVE A LIFE!-KAT
 
Welcome lovely--My friend ha two kids 10 months apart, you are a brave woman! I just had them overnight to babysit--NEVER AGAIN!
 
its a good day to lose some weight!

Yesterday was fantastic! i am now on my 17th day of my challenge! i feel so much better and actually went out to eat with the family yesterday and had grilled talapia! yum!! and green beans! yum!
I was reminded yesterday of the importance of support during all of our journeys of fitness, wether its weightloss or muscle tone or both..we need the support. A very good friend of mine has lost 55+ pounds so far and before she made the commitment to start her challenge she went to bed at 6 pm didnt want to get up the next morning, would hide her food and had been obese all her life, and in her late 20's with a small child she just had no will to keep going:( so someone cared enough to speak up and say i will support you and you can and will do this...and i just looked at her and was just gracefully reminded that we need the human caring support on this journey! you may think that you can do anything by yourself and you may be an exception but the greatest gift we can give each other is support and love so thank you to those of who care about each other and support each other bc i know i def need it and if it werent for someone taking the time out and sharing the challenge with me then i wouldnt be happy and healthier or determined today!
bless you all and love and peace to you today! live today!!!!-kat
 
Hi there and thanks for stoping by my diary!The support is a HUGE reason many people succeed BUT its really only YOU that makes it.You get sall the credit and all the ups and downs!You must let go just because you maybe wont get the support you need from a friend or a family member....I read all of your post but i dont think you have told us how much you weigh how tall are you etc and what is your goal.do you have a goal?
looking forward to reading from you again
Keep strong!you have made the first srep
 
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