Hi Rebecca! You need love and support, and there are lots of kind, patient people here who can help with that.
I agree that staying on-track is easier without the temptations so close by. I'm someone who doesn't care for food that much, and can walk right by high calorie foods. But, it's not only about the taste. It's the convenience. When I'm hungry, I'll tend to grab whatever is easiest. So, even I have found that it's better without poor-quality snacks in the house; if I'm too lazy to cut some celery sticks or can't be bothered to boil a pot of water (for 5 minute edamame), then I just don't eat. ...Not that skipping a snack or meal is a better option, but it's better than eating something high in fat, sugar, and calories and very little nutritional value.
That's why I prepare as many things as I can in advance, and buy some convenience (prepared) veggies. I buy celery and cut it into sticks, then put the sticks in baggies in the fridge, so when I want a snack, they're ready to go. I buy papaya and, once it's ripe, I cut it into cubes, and put it in a plastic dish in the fridge. I buy already-cored pineapple, and trim it into spears, and leave in the fridge. That way, when I want pineapple chunks, I only have to slice the spears a few times, and I still have nice, fresh edges. Apples last forever in the fridge. Bananas are a quick snack. I buy Organc Girl baby spinach already pre-washed and ready to throw on a plate. I buy mini, wholegrain pitas, and spicy hummus. A few seconds in the microwave, and the pitas are warm, and the hummus is a low-cal, low-GI, protein snack. (...And many people claim spicy foods aid in weight loss.) Consider buying frozen edamame and toss a cup of it into boiling water for five minutes. Drain and sprinkle with sea salt, and you have a quick snack that's a good source of protein and iron. Drink some grapefruit juice with it, to get the most iron out of the soy beans. You'll actually feel full if you have a half gass of low-sodium tomato juice and 3 or 4 Brazil nuts or 4-5 almonds, or 5-10 pistachios in the shell.
This morning, as my (giant) husband was running out the door to work, I asked him if he had time to eat one of my "seed shots." It's so fast and easy. Take a shot glass and layer different types of seeds. (I like to use layers because I find it more visually appealing.) This morning, the bottom layer was dry-roasted sunflower seeds, then sesame seeds, and topped with raw pumpkin seeds. (Pumpkin seeds are a good, natural source of zinc...which is good for your immune system and libido.) But you can use whatever seeds you like. I use a shot glass so I don't overdo the quantity. Keeping in mind that he's almost 7' tall and over 300lbs, he said, "That's a meal in itself!" He chased it with some San Pellegrino Pompelmo (grapefruit). We're told to eat more nuts and seeds, and this is a fast & easy way to get some seeds into us, most days.
When I first started resolutely trying to lose weight, I cut my daily calories in half, and started exercising for 1-2 hours per day. Not only did I not lose weight, I gained weight. After two months of failure (and I don't know how I was able to press on with the dietary restriction and strenuous, daily exercise...but I did) I finally learned I was insulin resistant. I tried a natural insulin sensitizer and that's what made it possible for caloric deficit to FINALLY result in weight loss. If I hadn't learned about my insulin resistance or that insulin sensitizer, I bet I'd still be above my starting weight, no matter how clean my diet was or how much I exercised. I started losing weight literally FROM THE DAY I began taking the insulin sensitizer. ...A pretty blatant cause and effect, I'd say. So, it wasn't that I was lying about how little I was eating or how much I was exercsing. The human body is more complicated than most inexpert folks pretend.
But, I will say, my husband was always my biggest supporter. He helped me carry on, when I was only gaining weight. He saw how little I ate and how I was killing myself in our home gym, only to find I'd gained a pound or two or three. My husband would gladly live on my diet if I told him it would help me. It would be my last surprise in life if my husband ever called me a bad name. I can't imagine what it must be like not to have even minimal support at home. Weight loss is tough enough. The lucky ones are those who can lose a measurabe amount of weight by just cutting out a few things from their diets and taking long walks. I bet when I was young and thin, I'd have believed the same nonsense. But, the truth is, sustained weight loss is hard for most, and much harder for some. It's not an excuse. It's a reality. The weight may not fall off just because you're following popular advice.
But, assuming you just want to get started, I will say that I began from a place of resolve. I slashed the volume of food I was eating (and eating mindlessly), and did a minimum of 60 minutes of exercise every day. (A lot of people say one should have a rest day. But I find that, by not scheduling one, I don't feel so bad if something comes up and I can't workout that morning. I mean, I can't just give up everything in order to lose weight. I do have other responsibilities.) If I've gone six days in a row without fail, I may take a day off. I also often do two workouts a day, with the afternoon one being less-strenuous (since I don't want to have to shower again).
What I was getting at is, I wanted to have a kind of baseline, where no one could accuse me of not doing at least the most basic things (like exercising enough, or cutting overall calories enough). I was already eating a pretty healthy diet before, and it's only gotten better. Once my fitness levels improved, so did the intensity of my workouts. But it's all just one day at a time. Remember that weight loss is mostly about diet, though. Lots of people successfully lose weight without exercising. Based on the number of accounts of people who've lost weight and couldn't exercise for one or more reasons, I tend to believe those who say weight loss is about 80% diet and 20% exercise. That slice of cream pie could undo the benefit you might have received from over an hour of running.
If I decided to eat something fattening, then felt worse for having made that choice, my next meal/snack would probably be super-low-cal and healthy, to make up for it. That's how I might deal with feelings like I ate something that wasn't in-keeping with my weight loss goals. Feeling better about my next choice helped me put the negative feeling behind...rather than making me feel like I've ruined my whole diet and giving up. Miraculously, in the past 5 months, I've never skipped a workout entirely, just because I was feeling lazy. But I have phoned-in a few workouts, so to speak. I make up for it by doing a second (or third) workout later in the day, or making sure my diet is spot-on. That helps me stay positive about the process, instead of dwelling on a few "mstakes" here and there.
What I do know is...all BS aside...I was thin nearly all my life and I didn't gain weight when I ate a huge pasta dinner two nights in a row, and didn't lose weight when I missed meals. I believe a healthy body maintains a normal weight without effort, barring massive overages or underages on a regular basis. I don't believe anyone should have to live the rest of their lives counting calories or working out like an elite athlete...if they aren't. There is some "thing" that's missing from our understanding of weight maintenance, and it's why healthy people, who remain at the same weight without trying, are able to do that. That was me, nearly my whole life. i hope I find my way back to that person.
I wish you the best of luck and, most of all, want to encourage you to be kind to yourself. Those who are criticisizing you aren't perfect, themselves. If they cared about you, they'd encourage you, rather than put you down. They'd remind you how strong you are, and that you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. They'd offer to help in any way they could, whether that be sharing your diet, offering to join you on walks/runs, or anything that would help you achieve your goals. It's a tough reality to discover that people who claim to care about you really don't...based on their actions. As the old sayings go, "Talk s cheap," and "The proof of the pudding is in the eating." I mean, how selfish and uncaring do you have to be not to offer a little bit of assistance to a loved one, when they need it?
Good luck!
