Just need a shoulder sometimes ..

[Leinney]

Hello. I'm 26, college graduate, and newly married. I have a serious weight problem that's really getting out of hand. I don't even recognize myself in a reflection or in pictures anymore! Here's a little of my weight history: I was effortlessly thin while in high school, 1999, and a for few years after (117-120 lb). I was extremely active, social, single, and traveled as much as I could. I settled down a bit and started at a community college when I was 20, so I'd say I slowly started gaining weight after I turned 21. In 2004 my best friend got married and I remember trying on dresses and feeling like a cow! I was around 145lb at that point. I hated what I saw in pictures and none of my close fit anymore. I eventually transfered to a university and that's when it all went down hill, rapidly! I was studying, working and eating out constantly and before I knew it I was 160lb!! I tried to take lunches and eat healthy but the stress of finals and the lack of time put an end to that real quick, however, I was walking more then I ever had in my life. In my last year of college I started dating one of my very good friends who is an athletic yet larger man (6'4, 300lb). In that year of spending all our time together I ate as often and almost as much as he did which, obviously, caused me to balloon even further in weight. By the time I finish college we were engaged and I was 180lb!!! A few months before we got married on Jan 2007 I started on the pill and gained another 15-20lbs in TWO months! I got off the pill a few months into our marriage but the weight has stayed and I am currently a couple pounds over 200. It's hard to even type that .. it doesn't feel real!!!

Looking back I can totally see how and why it happened ... my activity level decreased as my eating increased. I find that I also turn to food when I'm stressed or bored or happy or ... breathing!! As my weight increased my self esteem and social life decreased to the point, now, where it's practically non-existent. I could only take so much of the "what happened!!?!" s and "wow, you've put on weight!!!" s before I just didn't want to be around people anymore ... especially the ones who knew me when I was thin.

Soooo ... Feeling like a enormous whale, I'm here to just talk about it, hear other people's experiences and hopefully get motivated to do what I know I need to do and get healthy. Watching my body super size and stretch was/is REALLY depressing (which made me eat even more) .. but I'm to the point now where I realize I'm far beyond getting my old body back. I've done done damage far beyond repair .. as far as boobs to my belly button and stretch marks from my thighs to my neck! .. but I want to be healthy .. I Need to be healthy!! Life is pretty much in the dumps right now with no energy and no motivation to do anything. Like I said earlier ... I don't even recognize myself anymore by appearance as well as personality. I want my life back!

 

[[Focus]1]

There is nothing breakable in this world that cannot be fixed. I'm not just saying it to comfort you. It can all be fixed. It's just a question of how badly you want it.

I think the first thing to do is sit down and try to figure out what you need, what it will take to get there, and then envision the process as a series of little steps rather than the overwhelming, mountainous climb you've built it up to be in your head.

Welcome, and may each of those steps be blessed.

 

[dreamtobethin]

I understand and know how hard it can be.....especially the part where you say how you started to avoid people who once knew as a thin person. I to begin with was never thin; but have so many times lost weight and then put it on and I do exactly the same thing...stop seeing or avoiding people I knew and lock myself up in my own shell; but I think that hurts you more; you get depressed and start blaming yourself and end up eating more. I eat when I am depressed or unhappy or stressed so the end result is you make the situation worse.

In the past there were times when I used to beat myself up for putting back the wt on which I struggled so hard to lose and instead of making an effort to get right back on track ended up putting on some more.

The best thing for you to do is to stop beating yourself up and tell yourself "I am going to get my life back. I am going to stop feeling miserable and do what I need to do to make myself feel good."

Next put together a list of reasons as to why you want to lose weight; write up as many as you can think of these can be as silly as silly as you want them to be but write down everything that comes in your mind.

Now make copies of that list and stick it up on the refrigerator, bathroom mirror, dresser any place you see it often; put them as notes in your cell phone and set a reminder to pop up every hour in a day or the times you feel very vulnerable....also keep one in your wallet and remember to read this list everyday this works for me.....

Now put together a plan for eating and working out; plan your menu ahead; infact if you can make sure you cook your meal and have it ready so when hunger strikes you reach out for something healthy and avoid unhealthy foods.

Make sure you have a workout routine even if it as simple as walking. Do not compromise this for anything tell yourself "NO CHOICE, NO CHOICE, NO CHOICE" when you think like slacking.

Chart your progress. If weighing every day works for you helps then make sure you stand on the scale the first thing in the morning after you have gone to the bathroom and make a note of your weight. I do this. I have a calendar on which I write my wt everyday this way it helps me stay on track and if I stay on the same wt for long I change things up to see results. If weighing everyday stresses you out then do it once a week. Have a weigh in day.

Put up a list of rewards for yourself like getting a manicure or buying something nice for yourself. Set mini goals. Drink lots of water.

Start a diary here that will help you record what you are eating; your feelings everything...

You will soon see things changing for you. You will develop a whole new attitude to life....

Remember ONLY YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE'; nobody else can do it for you. Take control and you will see how things change.

 

[PhoenixRisin']

Hi, welcome to the forums.

Hello Leinney, I am a newbie here myself but I do know this....... you must get yourself motivated! Get excited, charge ahead, give it 100%, read about health and excercise, keep your mind focused on the goal ahead and the many seen and unseen rewards you will recieve. Clean out the fridge and cubbords, make a healthy menu for the week and go shopping, then get moving. Walk and walk some more. Take it one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. In the morning when you wake up say "It's going to be another healthy eating day". Keep a diary at home or here online and make yourself accountable for everything you put in your body. I am just over 3 weeks into my program with 20lbs lost with a great outlook for the new year. I am so motivated my mind is writing checks my body cant cash haha. Good luck to you on your journey.

 

[yarmiah]

Welcome to the forums!

I myself have only just begun my journey 6 months ago. I am like you in that I started gaining weight after getting married. Must be a subconscience thing where we are so comfortable and happy, we forget to pay attention to what we are eating.

Anyway, you have come to the right place for inspiration and information. The motivation is best to come from within YOU. You have to want this and be committed to making the changes necessary. And be realistic in knowing that it wont happen overnight. It's a lifestyle change that has to be made, a change I know you can do!

Do you have an eating/exercise plan? I have found that keeping a journal (as many on the site recommend and keep as well) really helps too.

 

[nataliejo]

You might want to try ....

when you go to the fridge and it was an aimless thing to ask yourself "Why am I here? Why am I at the fridge? Am I stressed, bored, agitated?"

Before you put anything in your mouth, ask the same thing ...

Just keep daily not of what you planned to eat each day the night before and than have the other half telling your diary what you ate..and see how it effects you and why you are eating what you are eating and how it effects your body. Don't beat yourself up. Than you eat more, because you are frustrated at yourself, think its hopeless, sad, stressed, ect. Wrong reasons to eat ..thats when you stop ... tell yourself you are human and write down for the next day what you plan to eat and set a column for what you ate to fill in the next day...

I weigh myself everyday and put it on the calender. I am friendless and I have a problem with people who used to go to school with me seeing me. I used to avoid main roads for walking and I still do sometimes. But if I have my sunglasses on I am a ok .. I walk with music usually ... So I just dance my head around and bob up and down while walking .. it can be very exciting .... happy go lucky ... stress relief to just walk ... you dont have to walk fast in the beginning ..take your time ..walk at a pace where you can still talk ... if it hurts to walk, thats more reason to walk ...get a comfortable pair of sneakers or boots ... Walk as far as you can ... start with ten minutes, than fifteen, twenty, twenty five ... set goals, but dont beat yourself up if you dont meet them, set new goals than, join the challenges. I am suggesting a new challenge after the VDAY challenge


Bring it on Spring
or Bring on Spring, for the rest of February and March. And than we continue with different and more challenges for the forum as well go ..we weigh in once a week, but I weigh myself in the morning, in my pjs, before I eat or do anything. I wake up and just go downstairs and weigh myself in the weight room ..than I take my weight..write it down to put on the weight loss forum in my diary ..btw ..you might want to start a diary. Don't let your weight get you down ..feel inspired ..

How would a thing me feel? How would a thin me eat? think like that ..say that to yourself, picture yourself thin now and think before you eat ..what would a thin me eat, how much ..make small steps ...and if you get off track ..don't beat yourself up ..just think ... I cant give up ... and just jump back up onto the wagon and start right off the bat to weight loss ...

dont give up ..talk here ...start your diary ..this is the perfect place ... dont be ashamed ... be real ... people gain weight ..just know you have reached the point where you are setting down the part in the sand and taking control ..sometimes you won't be in control ...but think before you eat ... walk .. you don't need a gym membership to get exercise ... just walk ..dress warm ..scarf .. mittens, hat, winter jacket ... really get warm ..and just take a walk ... people look at you and they admire you when you walk ..they know what you are doing ... they cheer you on usually ..sometimes you get jerks ... but only once in a while, thats why I listen to music ..and I am old school .. I use a portable cd player .. I dont have the money for these new fangled things ...

Just enjoy your weight loss, the weight loss forum, the people here, enjoy the challenge ... enjoy all of it .. you can do it hun ..

I weighed 320 pounds last Christmas, March I decided thats it ..my father is not going to see me like this again .. I am going to go swimming in this Hilton hotel .. I am going to use their gym ...
usually I would hide in the hotel room .. this year .. I am going to go swimming in the hotel ... I am going to run everywhere .. I am going to have a hell of a good time .. I weigh now... its almost been a year ... 285.6
and by the time I stay in that hotel with my step mom and my dad ... I will be 275 .. I will feel so awesome!!


you can do it hun! Just create you diary and start your challenge for life, your journey ..

best wishes
natalie jo