Jessica's Road to Self Worth

T

timetoloseit27

New member
Let's start this off with the basics...

My name is Jessica, a.k.a. timetoloseit27, and I am 27 years old. Soon to be 28. I have an amazing 7 year old son that I love to death. I am a single mom currently but I do have a wonderful boyfriend..whom I hope will make me not labeled "single mom" LOL I currently weigh 184 pounds. I am not at the biggest weight of my life but certainly the most rising weight of my life before pregnancy. When I got pregnant with my son in 1999 I weighed 135lbs. At the end of my pregnancy I was 220lbs. ( Major weight gain there) I was young and naive to think it would just fall off. I have fluctuated from around 160 to now my highest weight. It is absolutely horrible. Today I was told by my doctor that I have too much bad cholesterol and not enough good. My doctor "politely" told me that I needed to focus on weight loss and exercise. I was told to start eating healthier as well. Heart attacks, Cancer, and Strokes run on both sides of my family. Last month I had two of them die two days apart. It was horrible. I don't want that to be me.

This is now my third day into this forum and I am really trying to lose weight. It's hard but it's not a matter of if I WANT to do this anymore...it's that I NEED to do this. I need to do this for my son and for myself. I don't like to play outside with him because I get out of breath and it's embarrassing. I don't want to be the mom who dies at 57 and doesn't get to see her grandchildren grow up because she died of being unhealthy. This is not going to be me. It would be nice to be able to fit into some of my old clothes. It would be nice to be able to walk on the beach and play with my family without worrying who's staring at me. It would be nice not to hear the remarks of other females who happen to be skinnier than me. I used to be thin too. I never realized how much it could hurt someone's feelings. I am just so tired of the way this feels and I REFUSE to die such a painful death. I may not be able to control everything that happens in my life but I AM able to control this. One way or another I will be healthy. I know there are going to be days where I feel discouraged but that's why I have this forum. The challenges, the advice, the support of my family, and the hope. So many things have happened that are amazing in this world just by the determination of individuals. I can do that too and I will.

With that being said, today I start this journal. Everyday I will come into here and record what I eat and what I do for a workout. I will be committed. So, until tomorrow...have a good night.:Angel_anim:
 
So, I skipped a day. Yesterday was horrible.

I was getting ready for work and received a call stating I was laid off. I instantly was in shock. They don't know how long it will be before I can go to work again. The economy is so horrible right now. I instantly dove into "save us" mode. Filed for unemployment, looked at several jobs, applied for a few etc. I didn't do too well yesterday either. I had 2 canned mountain dews. Other than that...

Breakfast

Protein shake
Oatmeal

Snack
Apple

Lunch
Didn't have..had to skip

Snack
Banana

Dinner
Chicken breast and brown rice


Now I am working on today....
 
Hi there
Sorry you were laid off; you're right, that is a nasty shock! Especially with you as the sole provider for both you and your dear son. ((hugs))

I think you might do better if you have an actual *plan* to lose the weight. i know lots of folks on this forum use fitday.com and count their calories. It is a pretty healthy way to go about weight loss (WL). How tall are you? You need to make sure you actually eat ENOUGH calories in a day to provide the fuel for your body to burn off the fat. Exercise is a biiiiiiig plus, too.

Here's hoping that you find an even better job than the last one, that your man turns out to be Mr. Right, that you reach your healthy weight, and that you and your son enjoy many happy moments together, regardless of all else.

Blessings:Angel_anim:
ABBA
 
ABBAgirl said:
Hi there
Sorry you were laid off; you're right, that is a nasty shock! Especially with you as the sole provider for both you and your dear son. ((hugs))

I think you might do better if you have an actual *plan* to lose the weight. i know lots of folks on this forum use fitday.com and count their calories. It is a pretty healthy way to go about weight loss (WL). How tall are you? You need to make sure you actually eat ENOUGH calories in a day to provide the fuel for your body to burn off the fat. Exercise is a biiiiiiig plus, too.

Here's hoping that you find an even better job than the last one, that your man turns out to be Mr. Right, that you reach your healthy weight, and that you and your son enjoy many happy moments together, regardless of all else.

Blessings:Angel_anim:
ABBA
Click to expand...

Thank you for your consideration, Angel. Your comment really made me feel good. I refuse to cry over this situation and instantly find a resolution for it. It does suck. His birthday is on the 20th and I had to sit down and have a heart to heart with him. He understood. He's a great kid.

I am 5'6". I did the calculator and I am not supposed to have more than 1630 calories a day. My biggest problem is fitting all the food groups in. I am supposed to exercise everyday...between cardio and strength training and take Thursdays off...

Yesterday was such a bad day and I took that day off instead.

So for today.....

Breakfast
1 protein shake
1 bowl of oatmeal (that oatmeal really feels ya up...pleasantly surprised.)

Snack
Apple juice
Vanilla yogurt (really yummy..tried Activa)

Lunch
1 med. chicken breast (again..time issue)

Dinner
Salad w/sliced chicken breast

Exercise
15 min walk on treadmill
 
Hey girl, I am sorry to hear that you got laid-off! The economy DOES suck so bad these days, my family is feeling the effects of it as well...

With your diet, I hope you take it a day at a time! You don't have to make a drastic 180 degree change all at once. It's okay; we're human!

Good luck with your journey~ i'll stop by again! =]
 
laureelee07 said:
Hey girl, I am sorry to hear that you got laid-off! The economy DOES suck so bad these days, my family is feeling the effects of it as well...

With your diet, I hope you take it a day at a time! You don't have to make a drastic 180 degree change all at once. It's okay; we're human!

Good luck with your journey~ i'll stop by again! =]
Click to expand...


Thank you, Laureelee. I am sorry to hear that your family is feeling it as well. I will just be glad when the economy changes. If I can't get a another job within a week..two weeks max...I might be moving early. Which sucks because I really don't want to take my son out of school this late in the game. I was trying to wait until the end of school before we moved. That's going to be rough.

I am just trying to lose weight. For real this time. No excuses or anything. I have to lose it. You know it's bad when you can't walk on the treadmill without your legs going numb for only 15 mins. :-( The sad part is when I tell people my weight they almost fall out. :smilielol5: I hide it well but now it's getting too hard to hide, you know what I mean?
 
Okay. So I felt pretty good today. I bought Hydroxycut last night because I have almost 0 energy. I took it today and I felt awesome! I cleaned the house, spent time with my son, and even helped my cousin pack some stuff for the move!! :hurray:

Breakfast
1/2 protein shake
1 raw banana

Lunch ( I fit it in!!! YAYAYYYYYY!)
1 cup of oatmeal w/1 tsp. of Splenda Sugar Blend

Snack
1 raw banana

Dinner
Turkey Sandwich on Wheat

Snack
1 cup of Activa Vanilla Yogurt

Exercise
15 mins on treadmill (walk)
Windsor Pilates Ab Workout
(couldn't hang with her all the way through but I made it halfway!)
 
4/14 Meals

Breakfast

2 cups of coffee with splenda sugar blend


Lunch

1 cup of oatmeal
1/2 banana in the oatmeal

Snack
1 wheat bagel w/low fat chive and onion spread

Dinner

1 juicy salad with tomato, egg, red onion, cucumber, cheddar (sliced by me) and topped with some savory chicken! Yum

I had water all day

Exercise
Windsor Pilates and Yoga workout (( different than the abs))

I must say I really did enjoy that workout. It felt like she was really talking to me. Not to mention, it was peaceful!
 
It looks like you're doing pretty well. Do you use a food scale at all to help keep track of what you're eating? And do you count calories at all.
 
Hey hugs!! Losing a job is crap! I live from day to day with mine and I know how hard it is to struggle!
But you know what, something good always comes from something bad... so I am sure you will find a better job and you will be able to smile this one off!

You sound like an excellent mom, thinking about your son before everything else! Many young mom's get judged so much (I know I am the nanny of 6 kids and when I am out with the smaller ones I get comments constantly: "shouldn't have had a kid your age if ya didn't know how to keep 'em quiet should ya??" Grrrr!!), so it is double the struggle!
Not only do you have to bring up a kid, you also have to do it even better than the rest of them, just so the judging stops! At least that is how I feel. I have had my smallest one (she is 9 months old) from the day she was born and I do feel like her second mom.

Well your food sounds just fine, I think you will start losing the pounds in no time at all!
Good luck (because luck we can always use), Camy
 
Thanks for the replies everyone! It feels good to check in and see someone has written XD

LowFatMilk- I count my calories even right down to my coffee XD I don't have a food scale right now though. I am using my measuring cup and measuring spoons for most things right now. What I can't measure I just judge. Like my chicken for instance, I just use a decent sized portion. Not too big and not too small. Other than that, I am just trying to go with the flow. Btw, I haven't even looked at the food scale...how much is it on average?

LaureeLee- * high five* right back at ya girl!!! I have not posted any pictures but I am going to. I will put the link in here as soon as I do. I will more than likely do it as soon as I finish typing :beating:

Camy- Thank you for your comment. It was very uplifting and inspirational! You know, my best friend is a nanny for 2 kids..I couldn't imagine being one for 6. That's what you call self control! :p I love my son so much but with his ADHD he can be extremely hard to deal with. There are some days I just have to walk away and don't feel like a good mom at all. However, my son says please and thank you. If he gets hurt he's the first one to say, "Are you okay?" Sometimes, he even helps me fold the laundry. He knows better than to hit someone and he knows what will happen if he gets in trouble in school. So when at the end of my rope and I feel like I can't being doing my job as a mom, I look back at those things and they cheer me up XD
 
Sorry I haven't been on in a couple of days. I have been extremely busy with trying to find work and I have been helping my cousin with her son. I really haven't had that much time. In the past 2 days the only thing I have done is cardio. I have to have surgery at the end of the month because of my c-section. The scar tissue from that has attached itself to my bladder and god knows what else. So they are going to go in and cut it away from that. That's great. The bad thing is that before I even started to try and lose weight I was prescribed pain medicine because my abdomen hurt so bad. After doing that pilate ab workout a couple of days ago, I have been in pain for the past 2 days. It has subsided a little and I plan to continue tonight.

It may hurt a little now, but it's not going to stop me. I will continue my regular routine tonight and I will definately post tonight as well.

As far as food goes, nothing really has changed. I treated myself and my son to a lunch at the local Mexican restraunt yesterday. I had a 1/4 of a glass of sweet tea and my favorite dish. Chilaquiles a la Mexicana. <<< I know I didn't spell that right. I felt a little guilty while eating but it was GREAT! My son and I sat there for about a hour and just talked about school and his feelings. It was the highlight of my day.
 
Morning..

So it's morning and I am drinking a cup of coffee AFTER my 25 minute walk on my treadmill! That, ladies, is my longest time yet. The sweat dripping from my face feels FANTASTIC.:party:
 
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