a_new_me
New member
Why am I here? Well, I'm turning 39 in a few months and it's really rattling me. I want my forties to be the decade when I've finally gotten my shyte together. My early twenties were filled with college, and craziness, and wilder than I care to admit partying. Late twenties and thirties brought career/marriage/babies and a steady, unyielding weight gain. But now the kids are a little older, with school and friendships beginning to edge out 'mommy' time, and for the first time in a good long while I'm finding it's ok to be a little selfish. That I can actually concentrate on me without feeling like someone else is getting shortchanged in the process.
My current stats are: 5' 7", with my starting weight of 3 weeks ago being 220 (an all-time high) and my last weigh-in showing 211. I'd like to get down to 155 because at that weight I remember feeling at least marginally attractive. Who knows, if I get down that far I might decide to take it all the way to my 20 yr. old weight of 120. Hell, who am I kidding, I'd be thrilled just getting under 185 because at that point I'd no longer be considered clinically obese.
As for my plan (or lack thereof) the one thing I do know is that each time I've gone on a "diet" I've ended up gaining weight. I believe most diets have little to do with the concept (gimmick) and a whole lot more to do with restricting calories. I also know when you deprive yourself; when something actually becomes 'taboo' you're setting yourself up for failure. I remember reading an atkins board one time where someone posted that it was their birthday but they wouldn't allow themselves a single slice of cake. Instead they had a medium-rare steak & broccoli... and stopped posting about 3 weeks later. My motto is life's too short to not have your cake and (occasionally) eat it too. I kept that in mind when I decided on an plan, and I allow myself one day - saturday - when I can eat whatever I want, guilt-free. It takes the pressure off. The rest of the time I stick to low calorie, whole-grain, mostly vegetarian fare. For me it's not just about losing weight, it's about getting healthier too. And so far (knock on wood) it seems to be working.
Another thing I've learned: the key to weigh-loss is exercise. Simply put- the more I sweat, the less I'll weigh. It's no coincidence that all those trophy wives and bikini-clad women I see at the local pool (and try hard not to hate) talk endlessly about working out, and personal trainers, and how many carbs there are in a slice of pizza. They embrace the whole yin/tang, cause & effect of how to treat their bodies. And as much as I'd love to sit here and call them stupid or shallow or self-obsessed, I hate being a hypocrite even more. Because the truth is I probably spend every bit as much time wrapped up in how I look, I just do it in a 'you suck, you're such a lazy cow' self-flagellating kind of way. It's sad but true, but for as long as I can remember it's been easier to hate myself than to actually get up off my a$$ and do something about it.
Well, as Roberto Duran famously muttered at the end of his title fight with Sugar Ray Leonard, No Más. It's time I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started doing the things I know need to be done in order to be happy. Wallowing in self-pity all these years hasn't made me smarter or happier or funnier... it's just been a huge waste of time and a phenomenal exercise in stupidity.
And I don't want to turn forty feeling stupid or fat. So I'm giving myself 14 months to get my act together. I know what needs to be done and I'm through looking for shortcuts or quick fixes. I'll watch what I eat, I'll exercise, and I'll try to keep my eye on the prize and not be tempted by all the yummy foods and (even worse) hours spent online with little-to-no reason to move. Can I do it? Man, I sure hope so...
My current stats are: 5' 7", with my starting weight of 3 weeks ago being 220 (an all-time high) and my last weigh-in showing 211. I'd like to get down to 155 because at that weight I remember feeling at least marginally attractive. Who knows, if I get down that far I might decide to take it all the way to my 20 yr. old weight of 120. Hell, who am I kidding, I'd be thrilled just getting under 185 because at that point I'd no longer be considered clinically obese.
As for my plan (or lack thereof) the one thing I do know is that each time I've gone on a "diet" I've ended up gaining weight. I believe most diets have little to do with the concept (gimmick) and a whole lot more to do with restricting calories. I also know when you deprive yourself; when something actually becomes 'taboo' you're setting yourself up for failure. I remember reading an atkins board one time where someone posted that it was their birthday but they wouldn't allow themselves a single slice of cake. Instead they had a medium-rare steak & broccoli... and stopped posting about 3 weeks later. My motto is life's too short to not have your cake and (occasionally) eat it too. I kept that in mind when I decided on an plan, and I allow myself one day - saturday - when I can eat whatever I want, guilt-free. It takes the pressure off. The rest of the time I stick to low calorie, whole-grain, mostly vegetarian fare. For me it's not just about losing weight, it's about getting healthier too. And so far (knock on wood) it seems to be working.
Another thing I've learned: the key to weigh-loss is exercise. Simply put- the more I sweat, the less I'll weigh. It's no coincidence that all those trophy wives and bikini-clad women I see at the local pool (and try hard not to hate) talk endlessly about working out, and personal trainers, and how many carbs there are in a slice of pizza. They embrace the whole yin/tang, cause & effect of how to treat their bodies. And as much as I'd love to sit here and call them stupid or shallow or self-obsessed, I hate being a hypocrite even more. Because the truth is I probably spend every bit as much time wrapped up in how I look, I just do it in a 'you suck, you're such a lazy cow' self-flagellating kind of way. It's sad but true, but for as long as I can remember it's been easier to hate myself than to actually get up off my a$$ and do something about it.
Well, as Roberto Duran famously muttered at the end of his title fight with Sugar Ray Leonard, No Más. It's time I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started doing the things I know need to be done in order to be happy. Wallowing in self-pity all these years hasn't made me smarter or happier or funnier... it's just been a huge waste of time and a phenomenal exercise in stupidity.
And I don't want to turn forty feeling stupid or fat. So I'm giving myself 14 months to get my act together. I know what needs to be done and I'm through looking for shortcuts or quick fixes. I'll watch what I eat, I'll exercise, and I'll try to keep my eye on the prize and not be tempted by all the yummy foods and (even worse) hours spent online with little-to-no reason to move. Can I do it? Man, I sure hope so...
