I'm back, ready to continue what I started

S

shawnnam89

New member
I started using this forum almost 2 years ago, actually probably exactly 2 years ago with the alias shawnnam. When I came to this forum I was in a dark place in my life. I was 20 years old, full of self-hate and disappointment in myself. I had gone from the skinny 122 pound, eating disorder ridden highschooler to the 171 pound, over weight college student.


I came here because no one in my life supported me, they all had their doubts since I would go on a diet for a few weeks (maybe) to gaining more weight than I had started with. I have literally "been on a diet" a hundred or more times in my short life. I knew I needed to prove everyone wrong, and I needed to get encouragement and be accountable to people who were facing challenges I was.


Over the course of a year I went from 171.4 to around 123 pounds with help from everyone on this forum. It was not easy, I had many setbacks and disappointments. I often looked at how much weight I had to lose and felt defeated and as if I should just give up because it seemed impossible to really lose nearly 50 pounds. I really had to change not only my eating habits and exercise habits, but also my mental image of myself and the roadblocks I was placing in my own way.


I have always been the "all or nothing" type of person. Either I went all the way or I didn't try at all. If I had eaten well all day then slipped and had an ice cream then I gave up and went back to my old lifestyle, and ultimately quit trying. If I had a bad day I would think, "well whats the point of working out if I already screwed it up anyways?" This was my downfall that led to many times of failing and needed to build up the courage to start again. I have always been my own worst enemy when it has come to my weight loss.


Today I am 126.8 pounds. Yes, I have gained weight (about 3-4 pounds) since I have been here last, which has been about a year. I am here to continue what I started 2 years ago. I intend to lost 5-10 pounds of fat and replace it with lean muscle, and continue working on making lifelong changes.


Since I have been here last I have continued on with my education, gone through some jobs, lost my father, and hit walls in my progress. I recently got a breast lift (Dec 22, 2011) because of the excess skin I had from losing so much weight. I am choosing today to be a better person than I was yesterday, and to help prepare me for what may come tomorrow.


:) I'm happy to be back!






This is my before and after from about a year ago...





And this is today...
 
Welcome back!!

Only 3-4 lbs to lose!! I bet you can do the firm up thing with mostly exercise and not much dieting.

Glad you are focusing on yourself...thats healthy!


Good luck on your plan.
 
Thank you :) I really need to just make manageable changes in my diet. I eat wayyyy too much fastfood, and don't drink enough water.
 
I am all about inspirational and motivational material (one of the reasons I am going to start life coaching), and I wanted to share this poem by Dr. Seuss. I hope is resonates with you like it did with me.


Oh, the Places You'll Go!

by Dr. Seuss


Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!
 
I like that one. I read it to our seniors at graduation a few years ago. Heres a short one that I like.


...Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes.
- Charles Swindoll
 
Thanks for the reply :) I like that quote too. Often people, myself included, feel like victims to our circumstance and perpetuate a state of negativity. We believe it is beyond our control in how we feel and what happens to us, but the true reality is we can choose to perceive any situation in any way that we would like.


I am a believer in the Law of Attraction, some may have heard of 'The Secret.' I believe the vibrations we send out into the world will ultimately attract more like things back to us. So, if you have a crappy attitude then the Universe will bring you more of the same.
 
sooo true


I am getting on a positive roll.


Thats my story and I'm stickin with it!!!


Have a great weekend.


I will be offline till Monday.


(He leaves whistling "don't worry...be happy")...
 
Hi Shawnna,


Nice to see you back here. You look fantastic as usual!! I haven't been on here as much as I would like. I am still maintaining and running. I have gained about 10 pounds but most of it is muscle. I ran my 1/2 marathon last August and am going to be training for a marathon this year. I am happy to see you have maintained and have not gone back to the dark side-lol. I knew of anyone on this forum that you would be the one to keep it off. You are one of my inspirations. Keep up the great work!!
 
Hey Shawnna


Great to see you have kept it all off. Welcome back!


I come back here once in a while and read a few posts but nothin serious like before lol. I'm up 10lbs, and while I have cut back on my calories and started back at the gym, I know I wont get results until I cut the alcohol out. So thats my next step.


Great to see you back and full of positivity. I know you will do well and inspire many more to do the same.


Take care bud.
 
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