I should be thrilled, but....

bitchinabmw

bitchinabmw

New member
I joined this forum a couple days ago. Just lurking around, reading some information, ect. Thought maybe starting a diary for myself was a good idea. I'll go ahead and finish the title, and just go from there. I should be thrilled about my current weight loss, but why do I still feel like a COW? Maybe it's because when I gained the weight, I let myself go. Maybe it's not hearing anything encouraging from my husband (a "DAMN BABY, YOU'RE HOT" would be nice every once in a while...). I went from 200 pounds and a snug 16 to a size 10. I just bought a Marc Jacobs skirt that was a size 8. I workout EVERY DAY (two days a week I go twice a day). I ride my horses EVERY DAY. I should feel great, but for some reason, I don't. I still see jiggly fat when I look in the mirror. Seems like the only thing I notice is my arms are getting toned. I guess it's hard when you were once the superfit cheerleader body and now have to see imperfection. I don't want to sound vain, but come on... Live in reality. America LIVES for image. It shouldn't, but it's a cold, hard truth. So what if I want to be thin and crazy fit. What's wrong with that? NOTHING. It's just my personal preference.
Anyway, I'm a little over halfway back to what I used to weigh when I was super athletic. I'm very active now and watch what I eat (but I'm not an obsessive calorie counter, but hey. I'm still losing weight...). I know I'm on the right path, I'm just in a slump... Just because a size 8 is good for someone else, doesn't mean it's good for me.

If anyone is offended by this, don't keep reading. It's my diary, if I want to post it, I can. You don't have to read it.
 
Well, you're an upbeat person, aren't you?:rolleyes: LOL, just teasing. I do know how you feel. I'm about 3/4 to my goal, and still feel huge. I'm not sure why exactly.

Congratulations on what you've lost so far! Maybe you're husband needs a kick in the butt? Just wondering.:rotflmao:
 
Dear Diary-
As I was working out this morning, I watched my shadow. I do look thinner. I need to scan my BEFORE picture so that I can go back and look every time I get discouraged. I guess PMS'ing doesn't make it any easier, lol. Being a week late, a crazy BLOATED bitch, wanting to eat everything in sight that's sweet... I guess I should wait for a few days before I really decide I'm in a slump. :)
Anyway, running twice daily is helping. Though I haven't lost any weight in the last couple weeks (yeah, too much enchialadas for dinner, DAMN MY HUSBAND FOR THAT), I do feel a little smaller. Depends a lot on what I'm wearing. When my skinny super low rise jeans fit the right way I will be happy.
This was just an update to myself. Keep running morning and night. And going to class.
 
Had a better day yesterday, walked/ran my 2 miles yesterday morning. Unfortunately no running at night because we ate dinner too late.
Anyway, being I'm late, and bloated, maybe I'll just measure and weigh after I start. No, I'm not pregnant, took a test this morning...
 
the shadow never lies :) if it thinks youlook thiner, then you are... :)

and you've made incredible progress... but satisfaction is a personal thing... so you'll get there... just keep in mind you aren't the same age you were whn you were a cheerleader so some things just might not be attainable - do look for satisfaction in reality... :)
 
Its been a while, and my laptop is a piece of SH!T! So, I'm on my desktop, which I haven't used in ages. Anyway, I think I finally may have broken through my plateau. Been hovering around 159-160.5 pounds, and this morning weighed in at 157. I changed my diet up a little, trying not to eat past 8pm (which is hard when my husband gets home at 9:45pm everyday and pigs out in front of me), and watching my calories a little closer. I don't think 1200 is enough, so I'm eating around 1400-1500 per day. Not to mention I still work out 2x a day, run 2 miles a day and do strength. Hopefully I'm doing the right thing. Will be starting a core class in a few weeks, so I'm crossing my fingers that it will do for my midsection what my trainer says it will... :)
 
Hey! I've enjoyed reading your diary. I'm sorry that you were initially frustrated with not being able to see the results in the mirror - even though they were there. I hope you are feeling a little bit better about it. I think that sometimes we are all very hard on ourselves and obvioulsy each person is their own worst critic.

Nonetheless, congrats on the weightloss and breaking through the plateau. It sounds like you are doing a great job! Keep it up.
 
Thanks for the post, I was pretty motivated this morning before my workout class. :) Even better was for some reason, it was REALLY EASY today! I guess I'll have to jump on the elliptical machine for an extra 30 minutes...
I totally agree that you are your own worst critic. My husband thinks I'm really hard on myself, but it keeps me in line. It's HARD getting fit!
Thanks for the boost!
 
So I found my BMR and it turns out that the 1200 calorie diet is NOT healthy. So if anyone reads this, unless you are 5' tall and 100 pounds, 1200 calories is not enough. My BMR is 1508. (the amount of calories I would burn in a day if all I did was lay in bed) That's for my height, weight, waist size and gender. Since increasing my caloric intake to 1500/day, I've lost weight. Just in the last couple days. So since that's working (my trainer also changed up our workout a little, so I think that is helping as well), I'm staying on that plan. :) I'm in a great mood this morning seeing the scale change. FINALLY!
Have a wonderful day everyone!
 
good for you for realizing that 1200 calories isn't the way to go... :) makes it much easier to stick with when you have a reasonable number of calories
 
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