I have the knowledge but why can't i?

Z

zizi

New member
Hi, I’m a 37 year old mum of 3. I work as well as being a mum and since I had my third boy who is 6 now, I stopped exercising and my weight is completely out of control, I am so miserable all the time because of my weight. I tried every diet you can name but dieting makes me so down. I tried to exercise but I never continue especially when I meet my old friends or family and they give me that look of (what have you done to yourself to become that fat), i thought of having a weight loss surgery but always the surgeons stops me stating I’m not that fat to go under knife. I’m 165 and my weight is 95 Kilos.
Being fat affects my marriage and having a life, i don’t want to go out and I always hide my body with big clothes. I can’t even bare my husband of nearly 16 years to see me with no clothes on. I joined here to get motivation and advice. I know all the ways of losing weight but I give up easily after looking at myself in the mirror. I can’t join the gym coz I always find someone I know. Please help
 
Hi, and welcome to the forum :)

What techniques have you used to try to lose weight, and what has been most effective for you (or at least less difficult)? Are there any techniques that you haven't tried?

I'd recommend having a look around the forum- read the "stickied" posts in particular, they contain a lot of good information. Also have a look at the diary section, where you can see what other people are doing and how it's working for them (keeping a diary is excellent for motivation and accountability, if you're interested), as well as the before/ after section for inspiration.

It can be done. Believe in yourself :)
 
Hi zizi, it seems to me that your problems are fundamentally attitude or psychology. Maybe you should look out for a councellor to support you and help you think differently in the face of all the things that make you lose heart.

I could write on and on for ages wiht suggestions but i think having a supportive person on-side somewhere in your life real life would be a good thing for you.

Failing that get hold of some self-help books that might help you strengthen your resolve, make you feel more optimistic and more determined.

You need to pay less attention to all the negative inputs and be a little stronger in your own mind about what you are doing and why.

I wonder a little bit if you might be depressed but its hard to say for sure from your post. If you think you are, go see your doctor. Tell them about your problems and mention the weight loss goal and struggle. Who knows what sort of help they might offer.

The forum will support you too. Start a diary and get on teh bandwagon with the rest of us.

You might think you know it all but believe you can learn more about it. I've learnt a few things since i've come to this forum. Coming in every day and reporting on your efforts and logging your food and exercise as well as your daily struggles will help. It help you strengthen your resolve. It might be all you need but i think you should consider finding a counsellor too. A psychologist who does Cognitive behavioural therapy would be good for you.

You seem to be very unsure of yourself and need to build up your self-esteem so that you won't be deflated by what other people think or what goes on in the mirror.

Also re the mirror, while i think its a good idea to look in the mirror sometimes, if it has a negative effect on your efforts, then don't do it. Maybe only look when you've lost 5kilos. And then again at the next 5kilos.

Take a picture of yourself in some swimmers or a pair of shorts and tshirt each time too. But don't look at the pictures until you've lost weight.

Dieting might make you feel down because you don't eat enough. If you follow the sort of diet that i do, or do something like what Amy does, you won't feel down because you will be eating yummy healthy food and not starving yourself.

You are a busy woman so you may not have much time to exercise. Maybe just go out for a long 2 hours say, walk on the weekend. But if you are busy cleaning the house or in some way being active, only do exercise that is a pleasure.

Goodluck
 
Hello Zizi,
First of all, as the good posters above me said you should seek help from a psychologist/counselor if you feel hopeless for yourself.

As for dieting, I think the first and last thing in every diet is/should be calorie counting and you should at least do that.

There are tons of free tips, guides etc around the net which you can use to help you get started. You can check [spam removed] which I am doing. They have a nice video with free tips.

You are very young and you can do so much if you manage to feel good with yourself, as I remind myself, losing weight is only the beginning of a great new life that's waiting :)
 
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