I have a big frame

alphaX

New member
Or do I really?

5'10", 165 lbs, 38" Chest, 31" waist, 6.5" wrists, 16" neck. At this size, I still have flab on the abs and upper thighs. I am still not a small man.

I don't know. If you ask me, based on my neck and wrist size, I have a medium frame - not a large frame, but a medium frame. Chest and waist size are largely variable, neck and wrist size only a little bit so.

So why was I able to weigh 240 lbs and not look obese? People always told me that "You carry it really well", "You're big boned", "You have a big frame", "You don't look more than 200", etc. For a long time, I actually believed them.

Why did people, who had no reason to lie, lie to me?

I'm not being sarcastic, just hoping for objective opinions and honest discussion.
 
Everyone carries weight differently. And everyone has different visualizations of weight. In fact most people are TERRIBLE at estimating weight, especially on people wearing clothing. People see what they want to see based on many other factors.

The first time I told someone I weighed 175 they were very surprised - couldn't believe it because they thought I didn't look like I weighed that much. The person I told it to was a 5'11" woman who also weighed 175 and she couldn't reconcile my size with her size (I'm 5'4").

And again, in the same vein, a guy I dated a couple of years ago - one who had seen me naked, so wouldn't have been fooled by whatever clothing I was wearing - once described me as weighing "about 120 I guess". At the time I weighed about 165 or so.

By the same token I've been out to lunch with a group of people and heard them talking about someone in the office - and making the comment that "She must weigh 200 lbs" and I knew for a fact that the woman they were talking about weighed about 160 because she and I had been to the gym together.

So ... listening to people tell you that you're "big boned" or you look fine or you weigh too much or too little ... I don't pay attention to any of it. Most people have no clue.
 
Agree with above. When I was in my 20s I weighed 155-160, with a 28 waist but 42 jacket size. I would never have called myself big boned. All in all it is a buzz word that people like to use without really knowing what they are saying.

My 2 cents
 
It's so true, most people are terrible at visualizing someone's weight. In high school, most people thought I weighed somewhere between 180-200lbs. My average was somewhere between 245-270lbs. About a year ago, someone told me that I looked like I weighed 215-220lbs. I weighed 320lbs. In fact, I think the most anyone has said they thought I weighed was 245-250lbs.

Not that I'm complaining that people think I weigh 100lbs. less than I do ...
 
Some people do just naturally carry the weight better. If it is fairly 'evenly' spread through out your whole body so no one or 2 areas are really big or you hold it in places (such as one's boobs haha) where you are 'allowed' to carry more weight.

That being said even if people don't have a REASON to lie, telling the truth to someone about something like this is very difficult.
It would be like asking someone what they thought of your lime green fake leather jacket. They probably think it's absolutely terrible and want to gouge their eyes out but they will probably say something like 'It's very unique'
That's the same way it is with people and weight. You don't often ask someone 'am I fat' and they reply 'YES HORRIBLY!! You must weigh like a million pounds' We are raised in a politically correct, polite society and have been 'trained' to respond as such. Even if they want to be a bit truthful about your weight most likely they will try to under guess your weight rather than over guess it.
 
Back
Top