I am not whining but please help

[farnie999]

I am 5'5" and just weighed myself for the first time in a month and as suspected gained weight. I'm at 224 today. I wear a size 18.

NOT GOOD.

Background:

Jock in HS and College 1998- 02 - played soccer and ran cross country. Was a size 8 in HS and 10 in college. I was ripped i loved my body had a semi 6 pack, very confident and very healthy. MY GOAL IS TO GET BACK TO A 10.

Marriage #1 : 02-03 - horrible experience, lots of emotional and physical abuse. Turned to food as an outlet. Gained about 60 pounds in that year ( I was taking anti depressants which caused an exponential increase in weight).

Divorce July 03. I have been trying to lose weight since this day.

Marriage #2 2006 - great man, great life. a lot of things are better and now I want to lose the weight and be rid of it. Current regimen. cardio (eliptical / bike) 30 - 40 minutes 4-5 times / week. ~ 1200 calories / day.

My Weight loss Struggle since 2003.

Have tried:
Diets
Jenny Craig - too expensive
Weight Watchers - not a strict enough environment (I need more accountability).
No Carb (atkins) = no energy - passing out.
Fasting = no energy - passing out

Exercise Regimens:

Running - Too many injuries - doctor said to avoid it, can cause damage to my joints.
Swimming - developed ear infections
Personal trainer - helped me lose about 25 pounds for my wedding last year = too expensive to keep up.

I am really losing confidence that I will ever lose this weight.

I don't need factual advice. I have had a nutritionist and a personal trainer so I know the mathematics of weight loss.

I need help with the motivation part. I'm a results oriented person and when i don't see results (in terms of sizes lost) I lose motivation and go back to eating to feel better about myself.

PLEASE HELP. I NEED SOME GOOD HARSH ADVICE.

How do I stay motivated?

PS. I just started graduate school this semester and have gained 8 pounds since September because of stress eating.

 

[allyphoe]

Set reasonable expectations for yourself, find some other stress response, and chose a different way of measuring success. That harsh enough for ya?

I know you said you don't need any factual advice, but I question the qualifications of the trainer/nutritionist who suggested to you that 1,200 calories is enough at your weight and activity level. Your history says to me "I take things to an unmaintainable extreme, then can't maintain that extreme." And 1,200 calories a day when maintenance for you is probably 2,400 is not maintainable. Not a reasonable expectation.

Change doesn't have to be big to be worth it. For me, I hate exercise, and was having weight-related foot problems that made even walking difficult. Didn't want to count calories. So I started weighing myself every day (which had worked for me before) and making an effort to eat less. And I lost weight. When the loss slowed down, I started counting calories and doing 15 minutes a day of low-key exercise. And I lost more weight. As I got in better shape, I added more exercise, both in intensity and in duration.

No matter how much you work out, you can always eat more than you can burn. As long as you eat as a response to stress, you're likely to gain weight as a response to stress. Including "I wish I were losing weight faster" stress.

In the last 6 months, I've lost 45 pounds, but only 3 pants sizes. (So I started in an 18, and am now mostly in 12s, although about half the 12s are still tight and I've got a freakish pair of size 15 jeans that don't fit at all.) Going by clothing size has got to be one of the slowest, least rewarding, least motivating ways of measuring loss. Measure pounds or inches or how much weight you can lift or how fast you can go a mile - anything but clothing sizes.

In the end, you have to want it. You have to be your own accountability and your own motivation, and you have to do it because you want your long-term goal more than you want some pleasant short-term activity. Without that, you'll just keep finding excuses.

 

[19goog75]

I totally agree with everything you said allyphoe!
Really search yourself and question why you want to lose the weight. the reasons behind it. this is your motivating factor/s and remind yourself everyday.
My own motivation were my 2 little girls. I was dangerously obese, to the point where I didnt think I would live another 5 years! At 32 & with 2 little girls that depended on me, that was a scary prospect.
I got to the point whereI was sick of being fat & miserable. I always said 'I'll do this and I'll do that WHEN I'm skinny"
All that wishing & hoping never accomplished anything & I remained overweight.
I finally woke up to myself and got myself moving. I always knew what to do and what to eat but I guess I never truely believed I was worth it.

So far Ive lost 61kg (not familiar with pounds, so i'm guessing that
s about 140 pounds?) and I still have more to go and i'm in no rush, just taking day by day. i'll get there in the end coz i think i'm worth it & so do my little ones!

 

[maleficent]

How do I stay motivated?

Motivation comes from within you and o nly from within you - remind yourself why you want to lose weight - regularly - write it down and put it somewhere you will see it every day.

Give up the diet mentality and embrace the lifestyle change mentality - diets DO NOT WORK... they're short term fixes and don't fix a long term problem.

Read around the forum, especially the stickied threads in exercise and nutrition - and do ask questions...

Start yourself a diary - it's a great place to get support and for people to get to know you...

Clean out the kitchen of the stuff you're prefer not to eat and put one foot in front of the other and start your new lifestyle today...

 

[maleficent]

I need help with the motivation part. I'm a results oriented person and when i don't see results (in terms of sizes lost) I lose motivation and go back to eating to feel better about myself.

Read what you wrote there... Eating to feel better about yourself... How does eating make you feel better about yourself? Doesnt it cause you to gain more weight - thereby making you feel worse about yourself?

You didn't gain the weight overnight -it's not going to be lost overnight - and there are some weeks you might not see any changes -but you know you're changing your lifestyle and going i the right direction so it doesnt matter.