I am changing my life.

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Dear readers,

My name is James and i will write in this journal everyday from now on. I currently am at 160 lbs and 5'8" tall. I am not athletic and am abit on the non-athletic side. All my life, i have lived a normal and boring life. From high school to college, my life has been very uneventful and frustrating at times. I face depression, anxiety, and insomnia often and my life never go as planned. I am currently in college and am blessed to be living with my friends who i connect with on a deeper level. I have decided that it is time to change my life from ordinary to extraordinary and i currently plan to work out as much as possible and explore new things in life as i improve the quality of my life. I just wanted to share this journey with you guys and hope that you will be on my side to encourage me in these trying times. I have tried to change numerous times and failed because i loose motivation often and give in. Everyone is welcome to state their opinion and advice me on how to make my life better. My primary weakness is the lack of motivation to do what i planned. I gain a temporary boost of confidence and motivation when i start doing something but as time goes on i loose confidence as well as motivation and give up. I don't want to give up any more aspects of my life. My school work is starting to take a hit and depression has started hitting me again. I don't know anything else to do except turning things around. Please bear with me, I believe i can do it!
 
Welcome, James. I look forward to reading your journal and offering support. I hope you will find as I did that regular exercise is a great antidote to depression and anxiety. In the end, others can assist us and inspire us, but the true push to be better must come from within. We have to drive ourselves to be the best we can be.

Best to you!
 
I know its been a while since i posted on the journal. I had been overwhelmed by coursework. I am a college student and sometimes there is just alot of work to do. I always find it hard to do the work assigned to me due to lack of motivation, i just don't feel like doing the readings and assignments. I hope it changes soon and i really need to catch up on my work. There has been a class that is giving me trouble. Somehow i thought i can learn classical guitar, but that class has been giving me so much stress that i am behind on my other classes as well. I am currently thinking of withdrawing from the class because i just can't deal with the stress. Would i be a quitter if i do that? I am in a rough situation.
 
You will find a lot of long term trainers have had depression in their past. People who are 100% happy with themselves tend not to commit themselves to training in the way people with issues to deal with will.
Life always goes to plan if you are prepared to have more than just plan A in mind. The good news is Plan A isn't always all it's cracked up to be anyway so always evaluate if where plan b or potentially z has lead you before stressing about life not going to plan.
The best bits of your life can't be totally planned. You don't plan to meet the person who you will love for life, even if you plan to have a child you can't plan what they will be like. Part of enjoying life is to accept that it is the chaos that will likely give us our best times.
There is a difference between accepting not everything will go to plan A and not having any plans. Trust me you need some structure to work within. Relying on luck is not a good plan, I have done this far too often and while I have done well on occasions I have ended up broke on the streets a few others, hard to consider that a success.

Turning life around. Good stuff and time to have a lot of plans ready, because I will guarantee you will be on Plan G or later a lot of the time. This is hard to take but you have to be mentally ready for it.
Training is great for depression in a number of ways. You can use it as an outlet if it's aggressive depression, self-loathing style like mine was, or the more Zen style if it's down style depression which I know about but rarely got. It will also improve your self image and that is great for depression. I openly and happily consider myself arrogant nowadays, something that confuses many. This is simply because I consider having a bit too much confidence is far less damaging than far too little.

The footer on all my posts is a motto I live by. It makes me hell on earth to live with but after almost 25 years of self improvement mean I get to look back at over 20 being happy with my life and it keeps getting better. It's all about looking far enough ahead to be realistic, and having the determination now to do what needs to be done to get there.

What to keep to or quit is about priorities. You have to decide how important things are and if they are worth keeping.
 
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Hello James,
When you think you are about to give up think about this and keep moving forward: "Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be." In other words, we have to accept that life will get in the way, for example depression, money matters, etc.., don't worry about what happened yesterday it already happened and as much as we would like to we can't go back. Last, but not least have faith in you and GOD. Even if you don't believe in GOD at least believe in YOU and things will start to get better. I hope this keeps you motivated. Smile someone cares what happens to you!
 
Hi everyone,

Thank you for all your advice and recommendations, i really enjoy reading them. I have never had anyone give me serious advice before and i am glad that there are people who care. I would like to update you to the routine that i am using currently. Its not part of any program so i will describe in detail. I do around 4 sets of 8 reps on 15lb dumbells (weight not including bar). I also do pull-ups which i am able to manage 2 reps without the chair. As i am a beginner, any advice on a beginner routine would be appreciated. I also think i should do something about my lower body as well as my upper body. Currently my plan is to build lean muscle and loose some extra fat. To describe myself, i am a mesomorph with a normal build. My current goal is to do one handed pullups in the next 3 months. Please comment on my routine and suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
 
One handed pull-ups in 3 months is a major undertaking, but I'm sure not going to be the one to tell you it won't happen because I believe we accomplish what we set our minds to, but a 1 arm pull-up is an entirely different thing than having 2 hands on the bar.

When you write
I also do pull-ups which i am able to manage 2 reps without the chair.
Click to expand...
does that mean you are doing 2 pull-ups total? If so, what stops you from doing more? Grip strength? Arm strength? Lats? Try to isolate the weakness and find exercises to strengthen the weakness. Push-ups and inverted rows are both great for building the strength for pull-ups. Remember, pull-ups are not an arm exercise but instead use the muscles of the upper back in addition to the arms and core.

Classic leg exercises are squats and deadlifts, but personally I am hugely fond of lunges of all sorts.
 
I just did leg exercises, and boy do i feel my legs scream. I haven't exercise them for so long it feels rather good. I did more than 2 sets of 12 reps lunges with 15lb iron dumbells (each leg), 2 sets of 8 reps 15lb dumbell deadlifts and 2 sets of 12 reps squats with 15lb dumbells. Not a bad start, i am surposed to feel a burn tomorrow. I do enjoy the burn its just the journey to the burn that turns me back! Every time my muscles burn i feel stronger and accomplished. Thank you for suggesting the leg exercises!
 
There are so many exercises I won't be able to list them all but balance is very key.
I was taught and still advise the BALS system Back, Arms, Legs, Stomach which is an easier to remember than what it should say which is PPLC Pull, Push, Legs, Core not as easy to remember but more accurate.
To achieve this you could do the areas on separate days or in circuits, like that below.

Pull or back - Pull ups, bent over rowing or upright rowing
Push or arms - Push ups, chest press or shoulder press
Legs - Lunges, squats or tuck jumps
Core or stomach - Plank, side plank, overhead squats (this really batters the core)

One handed pull ups are a combination of confidence and technique. Confidence tends to come from improving technique.
Try some top down single arm partials to start with to get you used to how your body will move during the movement. There are a couple of sticking points you will have to work through and a subtle body shift approaching these will help.

I work on the basis of having realistic and unrealistic targets every year. Most of the unrealistic targets haven't come to fruition in the year I first set them but a few have become later years realistic targets and the few which did happen felt great.
Have this target in mind as an unrealistic target, work for it and be very proud if you get it. If you don't ensure there were other targets you did and don't stress it was a far reach anyway. If you do it will feel awesome.
 
Yesterday has been a series of bad decisions. I procrastinated on my studying for 2 exams and pulled an all niter to study for them. In the morning i was so sleepy that i fail to answer a significant amount of questions on both test. I think i bombed the test and i feel so bad about it. Then after the exam i slept around 8 pm to wake up at 8 15am. I am really behind on my coursework and have no motivation to catch up. I really want to, its just that there are distractions that hinders me to use my time efficiently like cooking, cleaning, and friends (i am a college student). I haven't been going to my classes which is a bad thing for me. My plan for this week is to catch up on my coursework as well as find the motivation to go to class! after all i paid a fairly decent amount to go to college (60k dollars a year), i really should make use of it.
 
I just want to update on this journal that i am still attempting to change my life in a major way. I believe that i can change my life and will change one aspect at a time. The reason why i post this journal in the fitness website is because for me, looking fit and being fit boosts my confidence. In order to get my confidence again, i am going to exercise intensely and regularly. I have attached a current photo of myself and i printed it out and glued it on my mirror with the words "i will look better than this in 3 months".

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