I Aim To Please...
- Thread starter EB847
- Start date
ChickenNecks
New member
Is that Shamu's dong???????????????? 
W
wonderwoman
Guest
EB, dont you ever have something WEIGHT LOSS related to share? the few posts i have seen from you seem to be all sex or badtalking your ex.
EB847
Banned
OK, HERE IS A WEIGHT LOSS STORY.
A FEW MONTHS AGO, WHILE STAYING AT A BED AND BREAKFAST, THE FOLLOWING EVENTS OCCURRED...
THE EX AND I WENT TO DINNER. I ATE A LARGE MEAL THAT INCLUDED TWO GRANDE PRIME RIBS, GARLIC BREAD, DESERT, THE WORKS. THE NEXT MORNING, WHILE IN OUR ROOM, I FARTED. IT SMELLED LIKE BEEF BOUILLON AND SNOW CRAB. I KNEW I WAS IN TROUBLE (PARTICULARLY BECAUSE I HADN'T EATEN CRAB IN MONTHS). A FEW MINUTES LATER, I TRIED TO SQUEEZE ANOTHER ONE OFF. THIS TIME I WAS GREETED WITH A BOWL FULL OF WENDY'S CHILI (MINUS A FINGER) IN MY DRAWS. I RACED TO THE CRAPPER LIKE AN OLYMPIC SPRINTER, HURDLEING ALL FURNITURE THAT STOOD IN THE WAY. UNTIL THE LAST HURDLE, THAT IS. I TRIED TO CLEAR THE BED, I TRIPPED AND WENT HEAD OVER HEALS, EVENTUALLY LANDING ONMY A$$ ON THE FLOOR. NOW, REMEMBER MY BOWL OF TROUSER CHILI? NOT TO BE GRAPHIC, BUT DO YOU REMEMBER JUMPING ON KETCHUP PACKETS IN THE PARKING LOT AT MCDONALDS WHEN YOU WERE A KID? IT WAS EXACTLY LIKE THAT. TO MAKE THINGS WORSE, I WAS ROLLING ALL OVER THE FLOOR FROM THE PAIN BEFORE I REALIZED I WAS LAYING IN A FRESH BATCH OF ASSCORN COBBLER. TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, THAT WAS THE BEGINNING OF MY BINGE AND PURGE DIET. I GAINED 5 LBS AFTER DINNER, THEN AFTER ELEVEN FLUSHES AND TWO ROLLS OF DOUBLE PLY CRACKWIPE, LOST 6 THE VERY NEXT MORNING. NET LOSS OF ONE POUND OVERNIGHT. TAKE MY SEMINAR HATERS!
A FEW MONTHS AGO, WHILE STAYING AT A BED AND BREAKFAST, THE FOLLOWING EVENTS OCCURRED...
THE EX AND I WENT TO DINNER. I ATE A LARGE MEAL THAT INCLUDED TWO GRANDE PRIME RIBS, GARLIC BREAD, DESERT, THE WORKS. THE NEXT MORNING, WHILE IN OUR ROOM, I FARTED. IT SMELLED LIKE BEEF BOUILLON AND SNOW CRAB. I KNEW I WAS IN TROUBLE (PARTICULARLY BECAUSE I HADN'T EATEN CRAB IN MONTHS). A FEW MINUTES LATER, I TRIED TO SQUEEZE ANOTHER ONE OFF. THIS TIME I WAS GREETED WITH A BOWL FULL OF WENDY'S CHILI (MINUS A FINGER) IN MY DRAWS. I RACED TO THE CRAPPER LIKE AN OLYMPIC SPRINTER, HURDLEING ALL FURNITURE THAT STOOD IN THE WAY. UNTIL THE LAST HURDLE, THAT IS. I TRIED TO CLEAR THE BED, I TRIPPED AND WENT HEAD OVER HEALS, EVENTUALLY LANDING ONMY A$$ ON THE FLOOR. NOW, REMEMBER MY BOWL OF TROUSER CHILI? NOT TO BE GRAPHIC, BUT DO YOU REMEMBER JUMPING ON KETCHUP PACKETS IN THE PARKING LOT AT MCDONALDS WHEN YOU WERE A KID? IT WAS EXACTLY LIKE THAT. TO MAKE THINGS WORSE, I WAS ROLLING ALL OVER THE FLOOR FROM THE PAIN BEFORE I REALIZED I WAS LAYING IN A FRESH BATCH OF ASSCORN COBBLER. TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, THAT WAS THE BEGINNING OF MY BINGE AND PURGE DIET. I GAINED 5 LBS AFTER DINNER, THEN AFTER ELEVEN FLUSHES AND TWO ROLLS OF DOUBLE PLY CRACKWIPE, LOST 6 THE VERY NEXT MORNING. NET LOSS OF ONE POUND OVERNIGHT. TAKE MY SEMINAR HATERS!
EB847
Banned
Look Here You Sea Donkeys, You Ain't Gonna Get In Better Shape By Getting On The Internet During Oprah Commercials. I'm Gonna Hook You Up With Some Legitimate Ways To Burn A Few Extra Calories During Your Normal Course Of The Day:
1. Fold Laundry As Fast As You Can (not Slowly While You Watch
Dr. Phil And Drink An 80 Ounce Coke)
2. Cut Out The Breakfast Cookie Dough And Bon Bons.
3. Vaccuum The House As Fast As You Can Without Stopping For
Your Favorite Snack, A Peanut Butter And Mayonayse Burrito.
4. The Treadmill Is Made For Exercise, Not To Hang-dry Your
Moomoo, So Get On It.
***quick Tip To Lose A Quick Pound:
Shave Off All Of Your Unsightly Body Hair, Including Back,
Mustache, And Of Course, Your Furburger.
1. Fold Laundry As Fast As You Can (not Slowly While You Watch
Dr. Phil And Drink An 80 Ounce Coke)
2. Cut Out The Breakfast Cookie Dough And Bon Bons.
3. Vaccuum The House As Fast As You Can Without Stopping For
Your Favorite Snack, A Peanut Butter And Mayonayse Burrito.
4. The Treadmill Is Made For Exercise, Not To Hang-dry Your
Moomoo, So Get On It.
***quick Tip To Lose A Quick Pound:
Shave Off All Of Your Unsightly Body Hair, Including Back,
Mustache, And Of Course, Your Furburger.
stoptheexcuses
New member
honestly at first these guys were funny...but now i feel like im on the "how to turn off women & act like an idiot" forum... Im so not into this... lets all step back and let them all learn what "appropriate" means in the dictionary...there is a time and a place for these things...and unfortunately you guys are taking it way way too far. Everyone is here to better themselves...not deal w/ this kaka
stoptheexcuses
New member
We are fools for being on this post... NB I would recommend just stearing clear of these guys...there are here to be abnoxious...and so not funny anymore...but we are idiots for loggin on to their posts & commenting..I for one am staying clear of these... Im here for myself & to support others..not for this foolishness!newbride02 said:Uh, yea..you really told us off good, now I feel so ashamed of myself
;-D