How to deal with confidence issues?

Tina<3

Tina<3

New member
Building confidence seems to be a typical reason for people who want to lose weight, for me it was largely the reason of why I started. I've always struggled with having low self-esteem and used my weight as an excuse for it. I started this journey at 220 and am now down to fairly healthy 150 for someone my height. I can't say my confidence hasn't boosted a bit because of knowing that I look better physically, but honestly it hasn't been altered much from when I was 70 pounds heavier. I guess I was under the impression that if I lost weight I'd somehow magically gain a newfound confidence - maybe because that's how it's constantly portrayed out there. I now see clearly that for me, my weight issues and my confidence issues are totally separate. I think on top of going on this weight loss journey, I'm gonna have to take the steps to go on a confidence-seeking journey, haha. I'm totally open to any suggestions, tips or ideas anyone has in helping me build up my confidence. :)
 
Unfortunatley i dont really have any tips for you on how to improve your confidence, but i just want to say that you look absolutely beautiful :)
 
I always feel strong and confident when I master new things. I have a number of hobbies, and learning new skills to make myself better at those things always makes me feel like a rock star.

Also, if you're into that sort of thing, running and biking races always make me feel amazing. Finishing your first race is the biggest confidence booster I have ever had.
 
I agree with Bluebuckeye-accomplishing things is a huge confidence booster. You could join a team or club or enter a marathon. I also believe in surrounding yourself with positive people. I've taken a good look at some of the people around me and sometimes that person is not a positive person to be around. Negative, pessimistic and snotty friends will make anyone unhappy. Also, friends with low self-confidence can sometimes bring you down. I'm not saying ditch all your friends, but just know what you need to make yourself happy. You can also pursue counselling or therapy. It really does work!
Good luck!! (and healthy_easy was right, you're a beautiful girl! Keep it up!)
 
Julie_in_TO said:
I also believe in surrounding yourself with positive people. I've taken a good look at some of the people around me and sometimes that person is not a positive person to be around. Negative, pessimistic and snotty friends will make anyone unhappy.
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I cannot agree with this enough! Having friends that are encouraging you, who realize how important your goals are, and will help you reach them, is so important.
 
I agree with all said above. I also think you need to identify where your lack of confidence comes from and when it rears its head. For example, if you're around nice people who encourage you and you still feel bad or awkward, maybe it's your social skills. But if the people you're around aren't all that nice or supportive, it's them not you and you need to change your whole social scene. Find the ones who will support and encourage you and don't be afraid to kick it up a notch and meet people who you may not have approached before. You're a different person now, you have seen the dark side of the moon and come out the other side. :)
 
If you're interested, one thing you might do is to take up weight training. There's something about lifting 100+ lbs that makes you feel like super woman. Really I think the best thing to build confidence is to continually set goals and then meet them. ... It's a lot simpler to say that than do it, though :D
 
True self confidence is something we tend to build over time based on our life experience. The more we challenge ourselves, the more we try to do (even if we fail), the more we achieve, the better we know and accept ourselves the greater our confidence.

But if you want some tips:

- always look back on what you have done (even where you failed) and recognise the things you did well & make a note & remember it
- try and always have a balanced view of yourself, for every fault you think you have find 3 good traits & make a note & remember them
- when you do make mistakes always sincerely apologise (to yourself & others), remember you didn't mean to cause harm and then let the matter go (even if other people won't)
- and always forgive yourself for being human because we all are and being human means we make mistakes even when we truly mean well

And when you feel your confidence faltering read the list of good things you have done and the good things about you. That way you'll remember your strengths and what you have already achieved and learned.
 
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Really great tips, Spinner. :) I think I may want to write that list for myself. I think just about everyone struggles with inner doubts from time to time and these are some good ideas for handling them.
 
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