How do you boost your self-esteem?

dariqueen

dariqueen

New member
Just wondering if there are any tricks...

I have had low self-esteem for most of my life...mostly because no guys were ever interested in me. No boyfriend until my first at 27 :eek: I got my 2 kids out of him, but then he stopped loving me...he's a butt-head anyway, so it's for the best. But now my self-esteem is back in the pitts. I know that once I lose this weight I'll feel a lot better about myself, but in the meantime?

I joined 2 online dating sites, just to see. Out of everyone, only one guy was interested enough to send me an e-mail, and he lives in TURKEY!!! :(

Sorry for the ramble, I'm just feeling a little down, and lonesome tonight.
 
It is not an easy thing to do. You have to figure out why you have the problem in the first place and I can almost guarantee you it started way before you were conciously thinking that no guys were attracted to you. You also need to totally change the way you think about yourself. A daunting task, but it can be done. If you had more self esteem, people in general would be more "attracted" to you, not just men. Have you talked to a professional about this?
 
I am seeing a counsellor next week about PPD issues, my separation, and yes, I think my low self-esteem lies at the root of those things. I feel a bit better these days because I feel like with this weight loss, I am doing something for myself. To find the me that I am inside. The last time I did this, I didn't lose much weight at all, but you're right, the confidence came from inside and I think people responded to it.

I started gaining weight in 9th grade, and put it on quite fast. I don't remember having any emotional problems before that. So I'm not sure if it's just my weight that's the issue, or if there's something else.
 
Well, you're taking the first steps. Above all else, put yourself first. I understand you have children and they always come first, but if you are as happy and healthy as you can be you will be a better Mother. Do nice things for your self. Treat yourself like you would others and how you would want others to treat you. Don't do anything that makes yourself feel bad about yourself. You can change anything if you put your mind to it. Sometimes means giving up a lot of old comfortable baggage, but good riddance!
 
How do you boost your self-esteem? Just wondering if there are any tricks...
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Meditate on your finer qualities - visualise yourself through the eyes of those who have loved, liked and respected you - see yourself through their eyes. And meditate on what kind of person that you would like really to be - visualise this person. Work on replacing that negative self image with the new self image - the chances are, that the new self image is the real you, just waiting to come out of hiding.

Learn to recognise self imposed limits and obstacles - and to overide them. You've made a start already - you are going to lose weight.

Work on your posture, relax those shoulders, and keep your head up - don't let it sink down looking at the ground. Let people see your confidence.

Try new things that you have never dared before - take up new forms of exercise.

Well, thats my tu'pence worth of suggestions any road...
 
ToothlessFerret (do you have a nicer name than that I can call you by?!)- thank you for the advice. It makes a lot of sense. I'm trying...just not sure who I am right now, but I hope to find her again.




Try new things that you have never dared before - take up new forms of exercise.
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One of my exercise dvd's is fitness using stripping techniques, etc. I think once I have that routine down pat....:D
 
Something I think works is to be kind, happy and positive with people you are in day to day contact with. I do this at work and the compliments started coming. I have a reputation as being a conscientious worker, always happy and a generally nice person. (I sure have them fooled ha ha ha) but seriously, when people recognize these things and comment on them, it makes you feel so good about yourself. It stands out, because there seem to be so few people in the world who are truly happy and are able to look on the bright side. When you get used to thinking that way, it becomes a habit and snowballs. Eventually it becomes a part of you:). By the way this doesnt mean letting someone treat you badly and just taking it. But there are ways to handle difficulties while keeping your dignity and composure and people respect you for that.
 
Project for you....

Take a bunch of index cards (start with 20).. and on each card... write down one of your good qualities... when you're done... put allthose cards into a bowl and every day... pull out a card and remind yourself of that good quality.

My self esteem on any given day sucks...I just have to remind myself of my good qualities and (expeletive deleted ) the rest of the world... because when it comes down to it - the only opinion that really matters-- is mine.. well yours - -though mine matters too and i say you are a-ok... :D

I could write a book on my online dating disasters and the boys that inhabit them... even eharmony - which is supposed to be all about the person on theinside... crap i say.. :D
 
this is my own personal advice, it is in no way scientifically proven. for a quick boost in sef esteem, i suggest a bit of self-pampering. get your nails done once in a while, spend a little extra time applying your makeup, wear daring clothing that you would not normally wear. by doing these things, you are showing yourself that you are worth the extra effort. no one will see that until you see it in yourself. you are beautiful, and you deserve it!
 
L-Jay- I do stay positive to the outside world, happy, etc. I get told quite often how strong they think I am for being this positive with all this #$@$ happening. And I really am that way 90% of the time.

Paul- I don't think I've ever seen that word "corr" written down before...my grandma used to say it; that's a nice reminder of her for me:)

Mal- That's a good idea...I think I'm going to take a page or two in my weight-loss journal I made and make a list for myself.

Jelly- I'm trying to pamper myself a little...never had the money before, but now I have a little extra for me. I got a pedicure last week (although my friend who does them gave it to me free as a new baby gift!), and on Friday I'm going out of town, and treating myself to some new clothes that fit properly! I'm so used to dressing like a slob, but when I wear more fitted t-shirts, I notice I do feel better about myself, so I'm going to buy LOTS!
 
First off you are feeling down I have lots of those days and I mean alot!I wake up sometimes put my clothes on look in the mirror and say YUCK!
At times I have a thing for smell good things so I would buy some nice smelling bath soaps beads ect(bath and body) and relax and listen to music I like or when I feel real crappy walking and exersice seems to make me feel better for the time being.I just keep thinkg I am going to look and feel better before long and that keeps me going to.
Good luck and I hope some of these tips helps. Tammy:)
Ps when I was 255 ( size 22) I bought some 18's jeans and said it would be nice to fit in these 1 day well they fit me with a little extra room but I still feel bad at times but I did feel great for a little when I put them on and zipped em up.I have some 16's/14's I am working on now and I think when I get into them I feel even better!So setting goals like that helps to somewhat and pushes ya more and boosts your self esteem when ya finally get those cuite pair of non stretch jeans on!Tammy
 
when I'm feeling down I send an email to myself about my great qualities, it really works to cheer you up a bit :). By sending the boost in an email it feels like it's coming from someone outside yourself, and for that moment it is! It's coming from your happy confidant self who knows you can do it and feel better.
 
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