Holly's diary :]

H

hollyxwood

New member
Hello :)
I'm Holly, I'm 18 (19 in January) and I'm at University studying a course I love in Fashion journalism. I love my friends, my family, my pets, fun, everything. But I don't love myself. I actively AVOID mirrors, I cry when I think about how I look.
I'm around 5"5 but look shorter, if that makes sense, haha. I weigh around the 16 stone mark (Google tells me this 224 pounds). I have never been this big before, and I HATE it. Hate. From 14 I've always been larger, and went up to 15 stone (210lbs) at a point. I hated that, and actually had some willpower back then. I went down to 12 stone ish (170lbs). Although I had more to lsoe I felt so great everyone told me how great i looked, and I did. However for some reason or another I seriously fell wayyyywayyy off the wagon. So here I am at 220 odd pounds. I take my weight on my chin, upper arms and STOMACH very badly. I feel like I look pregnant. I had to buy a size 18 dress the other day. This seemed to spur me to join this forum and lsoe this weight. This is not how I should look or feel.
I want to get down to 10 stone (140lbs). Although I may want to lose more there-after, I feel being at 10 stone will feel good for me. I want to feel good, look good. I feel like my weight is holding me back and that's NOT the way life should be.
I won't make excuses for my weight either.
I'm fat because I eat lots. I love food. and maybe I'm filling some emotional gap but that's for a therapist. I eat wayyy too many cals and too much fatty food, not nearly enough veg, fish, fruit etc. But I can change. I know I can. I was brought up in a very healthy family. Lots of home cooked meals, always lots of veg, lots of fruit, my families only vice being whole milk etc ;) However when I got to the age where I ate various meals away from home I started to eat the bad stuff.
I think this diary will really help me, because when I lost weight before I was keeping a food diary and I think that spurred me on. Equally the support of others on here.
If you've read this far into my ramblings thank you very much :)


Bring on the salad ;D
 
Welcome

Hiya Holly!

There's loads of resources out there. Diet and exercise is the answer -- no way getting around that. This is something that is, to this very day, does my head in. It's a lot of effort counting calories, exercising, willpower, motivation, determination etc. etc. to lose weight. When it starts to get difficult remember, YOU CAN DO THIS, and YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

All the best on your journey to loving yourself,
Amy
 
Welcome! I too was up to 224 while in University and today I weigh-in at 157.2 so it is doable! I know how you feel about not loving yourself and hope this site helps you as much as it has me. I'll be stopping by to see how your doing and invite you to do the same. We are all in this journey together and it works! Set mini goals so you don't get discouraged and take it one day at a time. If you mess up at one meal just try and get focused for the next. You can do it! I wish you the best!:waving:
 
Thank you guys it really means a lot to have people who are in the same boat. I love my friends but they're all skinny minnie eating machines! :)


The fact that you've been in the same position as me weight wise makes me realise I can do it, and i'll certainly be checking your diary for tips! Congratulations on your own weight loss!

xx
 
Hey Holly!

I think its great that you decided to make the decision to get healthy and feel better about yourself! You can definitly do it. Just really focus on yourself and tell yourself everyday that you are worth all the effort that you are going to put into your diet and excersie plan. Good luck!
 
thanks Janvier!!

I've been having some issues with willpower haha but today and yesterday I've eaten really well so hopefully although its only 2 days it might just be a good start! I'm gonna try and write more now.
 
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