Here we go *again*

SunnyDay1

SunnyDay1

New member
Alright, so I used to have a journal here (over a year ago) and I've decided it's time to come back. The idea of losing weight pretty much never leaves my mind but I rarely do anything about it. I joined sparkpeople a couple months back and I'm actually starting to feel like I might be able to do it right this time. But I really need a way to hold myself accountable for *everything* and hopefully get some friendly support. That's why I'm back here.

So I decided that December 1st would be my official 'start' date this time. I'm trying to watch my diet, but I have to take baby steps there or I'll just end up binging. I'm also trying to add in some good exercise. I can't afford a gym membership and it's too cold to get outside for much so I'm gonna go with exercise dvds for now. I got one of those biggest loser dvds from netflix and so far I've done the lower level aerobics and strength programs each a couple of times. I felt like it was actually helping my butt look better after only a few days because of all of the lunges, but lunges really make my knees hurt :( anyway, I don't actually feel like I'm working hard enough with these programs. Granted there are sections of each of them where I'm red in the face and working really hard, but over all I just don't think it's enough. So I'm gonna try the higher level cardio and strength and see how I like them. If they feel like something I can handle then I'll see if I get any results out of them over a couple weeks. Finding out that I can get exercise dvds from netflix is awesome cause that means I can just send off for a new one if I get bored. I've heard a lot of people talk about Jillian Michaels-- especially the 30 day shred. Maybe I'll try that one next.

I guess I should take a moment to talk about my goals. I'm weighing in this morning at 170lbs and I'm about 5'5-5'6. I would *really* like to get down to about 130lbs by summertime. 40lbs sounds like a *huge* amount of weight to me, but I'm hopeful. Also, when I've talked about my goals with my boyfriend and family most have them have voiced the opinion that 40lbs would be too much for me to lose based on my body type. I think that might be true. So I'm planning to be open to stopping before I reach the 40lb mark if I find a place where I'm comfortable and happy in my body.

Anyway, I hope people actually read this and I can get some feedback and support. I would also like to help anyone else in any way that I can, though I'm no expert for sure!!

By the way, my name is Jess :D
 
Wishing You All of the Best

Hi Jess,

I hope that you reach your goals. I'm starting over again too. I joined Spark People but felt overwhelmed by the emails and the busy website. It just felt like there was so much going on so I decided to sign up here where it seems to be more laid back.

I've lost weight in the past but I did not work on developing lifelong habits so I gained it back gradually. This time I'm determined to stay focused and to seek God's help.

There have been some set backs but I'm finding that I'm not as hard on myself now as I used to be.

Don't worry, you'll do fine.
 
thanks so much for the well wishes :)

I agree, sparkpeople can be a little overwhelming, but I'm finding a lot of useful information there and the tracking tools are good too.

Starting over is tough, but I'm ever hopeful ;) and hey, I think you pointed out something very important-- lifelong habits. That's the tough part. It's easy for me to drink 10 glasses of water today and eat breakfast and have a salad for dinner. Hey, I can even squeeze in some exercise. But I've found that if I'm going to maintain any of it I have to take it slow. I remember hearing somewhere that it takes 21 days to develop a new habit (good or bad) so I'm kinda looking at it that way.

Anyway, thanks again!
 
I exercised-- WooHoo!!

So I was sitting here thinking about all of my weight loss plans and I was reading through a bunch of threads here (it is so addictive!) and I thought, what am I doing?

My kids were gone to the xmas parade with my mom and my hunny was napping so what better opportunity to have the living room all to myself to do some exercising?? So I got up off my lazy butt and changed into some workout clothes.

Like I said before, I've been working with one of the biggest loser dvds. According to the dvd you're supposed to rotate between workouts 1 and 3 for the first 3 weeks and then between 2 and 4 for the next 3 weeks. But 1 and 3 weren't really doing it for me. Don't get me wrong, they are fun. And they did elevate my heart rate. I just wasn't doing *that* much sweating and I really just didn't feel like it was much of a workout. So this time I decided to try out workout number 2 even though I'm really just at the end of the first week.

So #2 is a high impact cardio workout. It has a 5 minute warmup and then 25 minutes of high impact, kickboxing type cardio. I really didn't like it at first cause the first section was just a lot of kinda jumping back and forth. It wasn't fun and it made my calves hurt. But I didn't quit. I followed through the whole 25 minutes and man, was it a workout!! I was breathing so hard and I was *seriously* sweating. It felt awesome. When he said it was over I was like, what?? already?? So I decided since the kids weren't home yet I would see what workout #4 was all about.

#4 is a high impact bootcamp workout. I guess you would really just say it's fast paced circuit training cause it rotates between working all of your muscle groups (with weights) without stopping. Anyway, it's 20 minutes long. And *wow*. It was serious too. I could *definitely* feel my muscles working and I was still panting and sweating. It felt really really good too.

Unfortunately, right when I was about to start the 10 minute cool down/stretching segment the kids and my mom came through the front door. By the time I got done talking with her and got the kids settled back into being home there wasn't any point in cooling down. I wasn't happy about that, but I figure hey, at least I got in the 45 minutes I did.

Also proud of myself because the kids came through the door with a grocery bag full of candy they caught at the parade-- and I didn't automatically stuff myself with it! Granted, candy isn't my biggest weakness. And I did look through it and pick out 2 pieces that I wanted for myself, but I haven't eaten either of them yet. I'm kinda saving them for one of those times when I have a sweet tooth. I don't think that's so bad at all considering how many mindless calories I could have eaten right then and there after I had just worked so hard.

So anyway, I'm feeling really good physically right now and actually working out is a really big motivator to keep on working out. So I'm pretty happy all around. I think I'll hang onto this dvd for at least another week and keep doing the segments I did today and see if I get any results. Who knows though, if I get bored I'll just send it back for something else. I guess the really important thing is that I'm doing something.

One thing I just thought of... today I had the time to do both of the workouts... I won't usually have that much time. I wonder how much of a difference it will make in my results to only get 25 minutes as opposed to 45. I guess it just comes down to calories burned. That blows. :( wish I had time for even more than 45 every day, but with a job and a hunny and 3 kids to take care of there just isn't much time left for me!!
 
Good job on the working out sunny! What's your food plan to get the 40 lbs off? I certainly admire your will power with that candy, I would've eaten those 2 pieces and then some..
 
Yeah, the candy is tough to resist, but somehow it's empowering to have it here on the desk in front of me and not eat it. Sadly I know that eventually I *will* break down and eat it. But I think it's ok to allow myself things like that sometimes. Plus, I know me and if I cut out all the good stuff completely, I'll only fail.

As for my eating plan-- Well, just starting out, I don't really have a specific plan. I'm trying my best to make better choices. I'm working on controlling my portion sizes-- I think that is probably my biggest diet problem. I *love* food. The whole eating experience is good for me. So I tend to overeat because it's so enjoyable that I just don't want to stop- even if I feel full. So I'm trying to put reasonable amounts of food on my plate to begin with and then wait a bit before deciding I need seconds. I recently cut out drinking soda as well. I was hoping to see weight loss just because of that, but no such luck. Although today I learned that the sweet tea i love to drink (yes i'm southern) has about 150 calories in one 12 oz glass. And I could easily drink 3 or more glasses that size at one meal. So no wonder cutting out the soda didn't help, right? I read somewhere that if you drink more water you'll lose the excess water weight you're carrying-- I guess it's like if your body knows it's gonna get plenty of water when it needs it then it will be willing to let go of what it's hoarding for hard times. So I'm doing my best to get in a bunch of water everyday too. I'm at 7 glasses (12 oz) so far for today.

Alright, so I made dinner. The kids were begging for burritos so I made them. Burritos-- definitely not a good healthy choice. Not the way I make them anyway. Full of pork sausage and refried beans. Then on the side I make a small salad of lettuce, green onions, avocado, cheddar cheese, taco sauce, and sour cream. *cringe* geez, I didn't really realize how bad it really is until I put it down here. Note to self: next time you eat burritos (because lets be real here, eventually there *will* be a next time) try to leave off (or at least limit) the cheese and sour cream. One good thing I guess is that in the past I might have eaten 2-3 of the burritos and tonight I realized that honestly after just one I was really full. And I drank water even though there is a pitcher of sweet tea and a mountain dew in the fridge.

I've been looking through some of the before and after photos in the forums here... The transformations I've seen are really quite amazing. It must feel so good to be able to look at pictures of your past and then look in the mirror and see such a change. I *hope* I can be nearly so successful. It's kind of inspiring, but at the same time I feel like it's *so* far away.

So I got in some exercise today. My diet wasn't great, but my water intake was pretty good. I'm not hungry right now, but should I get the pm munchies later-- I'm *terrible* for snacking at night-- I have a box of 100 calorie brownies. That's not so bad, right? I'm wondering though... Sometimes I really do crave sweets and for that a 100 cal brownie is an awesome option. But sometimes (more often than not) I crave more savory options. If I get hungry between mealtimes (although that's moot, huh?) am I better of grabbing a 100 cal snack like that or whipping up a salad? I put dressing and a little cheese and a boiled egg on my salads so they end up with about 450 calories. So which is really better? The salad has more calories, but it also has protein and veggies and stuff that's actually worth putting in your body... hmmm... I just don't know.

Anyway, I'm looking ahead to tomorrow. I'm planning to do the *very* best I can to make good choices with my eating. I'm determined to drink at least 8 (preferably 10) glasses of water throughout the day. I know my hunny is hoping for us to get out some tomorrow to hike around in the woods or maybe shoot some guns. It's supposed to be really cold though. I just don't know if I'll be able to face that. Either way, I'm gonna do the biggest loser dvd again-- both workouts if I can find the time. That sounds like a pretty good plan to me.

And I think this journal is a really good thing for me. I am one of the millions who has trouble with eating out of boredom. So I'm thinking this journal will be good cause if I'm bored then instead of going to the kitchen I can come here and journal. I may still go to the kitchen after, but maybe not. And at least I'll prolong it, right? And maybe I can identify some triggers or something. I dunno, maybe I'm reading too much into this. Either way, I'm stoked to be here :D
 
That sounds like a great plan sunny. Obviously cutting drink calories (including that sweet tea) and cutting portion sizes is going to have an effect. Maybe when you cook certain things you can try substituting a little so they taste just as good but are a little lower in calories. Like you can make the burritos with chicken instead of sausage, and regular black or pinto beans rather than re-fried (though they do make fat free canned re-fried beans which dont seem unhealthy). You can get fat free sour cream and maybe lower fat cheese (though that stuff isn't always that tasty or worth it) which will be sure to save you several calories. While you're dieting, you could also try cutting out the actual tortilla and having all of the burrito ingredients on a plate to save another 100 to 200 calories. Ooooh, what good ideas..maybe I'll go and follow some of my own advice!
 
Welcome sunny!
I also had 40 pounds to lose and it looked like WAY too many to manage, well I am almost 3/4 of the way there and it was a long way but not a really hard one. Once I had the knack of what and when to eat and how to exercise, in a way that it fit nicely into my everyday life without making the days all about food or exercise it was really relatively straight forward.
It took me much much longer to get here than I thought (I guessed I could be at goal in September, and it is December and I have 12 pounds to go yet), but I just decided that as long as I am still losing (or maintaining when there is too much stress) everything is good. And yeah being "smaller" to start with (compared to some people who have 100 pounds to lose), some months I only lost 2 or 3 pounds... oh well, who cares, I will eventually get there and that is what counts!

I second Blancita's advice of using different ingrediets to make the same food, I also started to make less fried stuff and more oven cooked or boiled stuff, more fish and veg and less carby stuff and I have been losing weight nicely and my man has been healthier than ever. And cooking new recipes is such a great thing (although kids sometimes hesitate in eating new stuff!)!
Have a wonderful week, Camy
 
Thanks for stopping by guys!! :D

Yeah, substituting ingredients is definately a good idea. The biggest problem I run into with that is that my kids don't like the other stuff. I already use the fat free refried beans, so that's a good thing. I know it's terrible, but I just can't stand that lowfat/fat free cheese. It just isn't the same. I hadn't thought of leaving out the burrito shell-- I could have just put the insides of the burrito on top of my salad and that would have saved a little. Awesome idea!

I hate to say it, but it does seem harder just starting out when you have less to lose because it doesn't come off as fast. Don't get me wrong, I'm really glad I only have 40 lbs to lose, but it would be nice to see 3-5 lbs coming off in the first week like my mom-- she is dieting too and has much more to lose than me. But I do understand that is the reason so I try not to let it get me down.

So I was really lazy this morning. The kids were being good so I got to sleep in till a little after 11 :svengo: which is really unfreakinbelievable! It was nice to get the extra sleep though. I think me not getting enough sleep is probably something else standing in my way when it comes to weight loss. During the week I'm *lucky* to get 4 hours of sleep a night. I just have a lot going on with 3 kids and it seems like the evening after they've gone to bed is the only time me and my hunny get to spend any time together and it's the time when I get the most done around the house.

Anyway, I did sleep in, but when I got up I went straight to exercising. I did the BL high intensity cardio and the BL boot camp workout. I was sore from my workout yesterday (mostly in my arms), but I pushed through that and it felt really good. I actually felt like I had an awesome workout today. There were parts that I couldn't keep up with, but when I felt like I just couldn't do it anymore I just grabbed a drink from my water bottle and took a couple deep breaths and then got back in sync with them. I figured that was the best way to do it. So I was all hot and sweaty and red faced. But I was all smiles. It feels good to be doing the right thing.

I have run into a slight problem that I didn't really expect with my weight loss endeavor. My hunny does his best to be supportive. He is happy to keep the kids out of my hair while I'm in the living room exercising. He encourages me to eat right in the most subtle ways he can-- I think he's afraid of hurting my feelings. But here's the issue. He thinks it's attractive for girls to have a little meat on their bones. He thinks being able to see muscle definition on a woman is gross. He doesn't like 'skinny' girls. We were actually looking at some pictures of celebrities online the other night and there were pics of some girls who had the body I *wish* I could have and he said they were unattractive. He says if I get too skinny he will force feed me cheeseburgers. Which I guess is kinda a good thing. I mean it's good that he likes me just the way I am. I'm sure I would feel worse if he were insulting me or something because I'm overweight. But him liking me this way and not wanting me to be so thin makes it easy for me to make excuses and let myself go. I dunno, I guess I should just be glad he is as supportive as he is.

I had a leftover burrito for lunch :( I shouldn't have done that, but I was starved after working out and it was there. I know that's terrible to say.

I'm wondering... I don't have a sedentary lifestyle. I work in a cafeteria. So I'm on my feet at work all day. When I come home I don't do a whole lot. Just average I guess. Do laundry when I can and try to keep everything else straightened up. Cook dinner in the evening. When the weather is warm we are out in the woods hiking and stuff as much as possible. Granted, I do spend a lot more time here in front of the computer than I should. But here is what I'm thinking-- Since I haven't (until now) been following a regular exercise program, if I continue working out with my dvds every day would that make a difference in my weight or body even if I didn't make changes in my diet? I know doing both is better, but would just the exercise make a difference? I'm not sure. I guess what it really comes down to is I don't want to count calories. I'm ok with making smart choices. I can work on controlling my portion sizes. I can eat more salads. I can choose low fat versions of things that I normally eat. I can drink more water and less everything else. I can cut down on sweets and fried foods. I just really don't want to have to deal with the numbers. Can I do it without doing that??? I sure hope so. Cause I'll be really miserable if I have to count the calories in everything I eat and have big elaborate meal plans and stuff. I wanna just live my life without that extra headache.

Anyway, I'm stoked that I've already gotten my exercise in for the day so I don't have to worry about that. I won't eat again (probably) until suppertime. And I'll have a busier evening tonight since it's back to school and work in the morning so I won't have as much time for mindless snacking. I'm thinking of doing some yoga tonight. I know I don't have to do any more exercising, but maybe it will help with my soreness and help me sleep tonight. I don't know if I'll have time or whatever, but I noticed there were lots of workout videos you could watch online with netflix. Something I'm thinking about anyway.
 
monday, monday

Alright. It's monday morning and off to work again. I set my alarm for 430 so I could get up and work out before going to work, but naturally I couldn't drag my lazy ass out of bed that early since I didn't go to sleep till after midnight. Also, I didn't sleep really well last night-- don't know why. Anyway, I know getting enough sleep is pretty important for weight loss too, so I won't beat myself up over not getting up this morning, I'll just make sure I get my exercise in this evening.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it here before, but I'll mention it now-- I work in a cafeteria. It makes dieting tough. I can't bring my lunch because there are only 7 of us who work there and those ladies are easily offended. If I started bringing my lunch it would be interpreted as their food being bad or something. So I have to eat. The food isn't that bad though. And at least portion control is a breeze cause we serve everything up in portion controlled scoops etc. It's just that working around food is never a good thing for a diet. It makes it easy to graze. I try chewing gum sometimes, but it makes my jaws hurt. Another issue that my job creates for me is timing. Because we start serving around 1045 we take our 'lunch' break at 10am. That's *crazy* early to be eating lunch. Actually it feels more like breakfast to me even though I'm up by 6 every morning. But what it really means is that I'm Starving by 3pm. And that's not dinner time. I guess I need to come up with some good snacks. I always have trouble with snacking because most of the things I typically think of as snacks just don't curb my hunger. But I dunno-- If I'm eating my first meal for the day at 10am and then working my butt off till 2 shouldn't I be ready for a meal?? Seems that way to me. But I can't eat dinner till at least 5 when I feed my kids. I dunno. It's a dilemma.

I feel like I'm rambling. Maybe cause it's so early in the morning. I guess I should just say I'm gonna do the best I can today. My day didn't start off as well as I would have liked cause I hit snooze instead of getting up and exercising, but there is still time!!
 
I agree it was a very good idea to keep sleeping. You will eat more on only 4 hours of sleep, among a number of other negative effects.

As far as starving by 3pm, I am too and often can't wait to dinner time without something. I discovered these protein shakes by Slimfast (20 grams protein and only 2 net carbs, 180 calories) that are pretty filling to get you through dinner. Otherwise have something else. It really shouldn't matter if you are eating below a certain number of calories during the day as a whole. So if you are eating say 1800 calories a day and you save 600 for dinnertime, you could have 1200 calories during the day and split it up by under 200 or 300 as your first meal, then you have two 450 calorie meals or a 600 calorie lunch and 300 calorie snack.
 
Yeah, not getting enough sleep has kinda always been an issue for me. I'm working on it though.

And I think maybe you're right-- it doesn't matter so much *what* I eat in the afternoons, as long as there is room for it in the big picture for the day.

Today has ended up funky. I'm home early from work because I got this awful tummy ache. I did have lunch-- i had a chicken filet (breaded but not fried) but I didn't put it on bread-- added a couple pickles and one packet of mayo to that. I know the mayo was bad, but I ate it anyway. (not making excuses) I also had a small baked potato with about 1 tsp of margarine and a 1 oz packet of sour cream. I know it wasn't really a good meal, but sparkpeople gave me just under 400 calories for it so I'm satisfied for now. I've also had 5 glasses of water so far today.

I came home and did my cardio. It felt good and made me feel better for a bit. I was hoping to sweat out whatever is making me feel so yucky. I didn't feel up to doing the bootcamp/strength training part. Maybe I'll get a chance to do it later.

I dunno how the rest of my day will go. I don't feel like I could really stomach eating anything else, but I know I will need to. Maybe some chicken soup this evening or something. I guess I'm just gonna take that part one step at a time.
 
The cardio I did earlier made me feel really good so I decided to do some light strength training exercises. I always use 3lb dumbells for the exercises that require them.

1 set (12 reps) each of crunches and reverse crunches-- those made my tummy feel yuckier so I didn't do anymore.
3 sets of bridges
4 sets of one-arm dumbell rows (2 each side)
3 sets of wide leg squats with dumbells
3 sets of alternating bicep dumbell curls
3 sets of dumbell shrugs
3 sets of dumbell lateral raises

Mostly I just did what felt good. That's why I chose those exercise rather than others. Maybe it doesn't matter that I did them at all, but it makes me feel like I accomplished something and it made me feel a little better physically too.

Now I'm sipping on some green tea ginger ale to try and settle my stomach. If I drink the whole bottle it will be 230 calories. That's a lot for a drink but if it helps my nausea I'm ok with that.

Nothing else really to say right now, just wanted to check in with that exercise.
 
I'm sick today. Slept till 1130. Got up and showered. Now I have to run into town to sign some paperwork. I'm a little hungry but I don't feel like eating. I *do* feel like exercising but I'm so weak I just don't know if it's a good idea. At least i caught up on some sleep.
 
Alright. I'm feeling better today. Well, mostly. There's some stuff stressing me out now and sometimes I think mental distress can be much worse for a diet than physical stress. I just got home from a rough day at work and first thing I got a really bad phone call. I was so busy at work today that I didn't have time to eat any breakfast or lunch. I managed to cram one chicken tender (baked, not fried :D ) down my throat, but that was it. So the bad call came and my appetite hit. I could feel that my blood sugar was in a bad place already and right after hanging up the phone the hunger hit.

For a minute there all I could think about was a greasy cheeseburger from wendys (one of my weaknesses). But instead of jumping in the car and doing 90 to the nearest drive thru, I went to the kitchen and made a salad.

Now that's no guarantee that later on I won't mess it all up anyway, but I'm proud of myself for this much anyway.
 
Way to resist the burger! :hurray: I was there last night with Long John Silver's. I am still impressed that you got up at 4 am to work out... That's dedication. Glad that you are feeling better....
 
Thanks doxiegirl :D

So I didn't end up having the burger at all. I had that salad earlier and now I made shrimp fried rice for dinner. It said on the bag that it was 230 cal per serving and I (honestly) had about 2 servings. But even that with the salad from earlier is pretty low for what I'm usually having in a day. I guess that's good though.

I do have a problem now though. I just finished eating. I'm full. But I have the *serious* munchies. Everything sounds good to me right now. *Especially* bread. So I dunno what to do. I'm holding on for now, but it's only 7. I'll be up for hours yet and the time after the kids go to bed is the worst for me. I guess I eat kinda out of boredom then.

I need to figure out some more healthy foods that will feel like they stick with me. Something that I'm running into is that I eat something healthy and I'm just really hungry again 1-2 hours later. Pair that with the fact that I'm obviously addicted to food and I've got myself a serious predicament. Sometimes eating for me really is like getting a fix. I just don't know what to do about it.
 
It's Thursday. I stayed home from work today to go to court, but then found out I didn't need to go. So it gives me some time to get some things done around the house. That's awesome. It also leaves me free to raid the kitchen or run out for fast food-- not so awesome. But so far I'm doing pretty good. I had a boca burger and some crystal light for breakfast. 158 calories. Not too shabby.

I think I'll run out to the store in a bit and stock up on some other things. Well, maybe not stock up. I'm gonna have to try things out a little at a time till I find what really works for me. I know me, and if it's not something I am happy with, I won't do it for long.

It's cold and rainy outside which kills any motivation I have to do anything. But being here reading stuff helps so that's good :D
 
SunnyDay said:
Alright. I'm feeling better today. Well, mostly. There's some stuff stressing me out now and sometimes I think mental distress can be much worse for a diet than physical stress. I just got home from a rough day at work and first thing I got a really bad phone call. I was so busy at work today that I didn't have time to eat any breakfast or lunch. I managed to cram one chicken tender (baked, not fried :D ) down my throat, but that was it. So the bad call came and my appetite hit. I could feel that my blood sugar was in a bad place already and right after hanging up the phone the hunger hit.

For a minute there all I could think about was a greasy cheeseburger from wendys (one of my weaknesses). But instead of jumping in the car and doing 90 to the nearest drive thru, I went to the kitchen and made a salad.

Now that's no guarantee that later on I won't mess it all up anyway, but I'm proud of myself for this much anyway.
Click to expand...

That is great that you resisted turning to your comfort foods when stressed. Just make sure you're getting enough calories throughout the day (at least 1200 they say) otherwise any weight loss will probably come back quickly (in my personal experience anyway) as soon as you eat more again. So if you didn't eat anything all day, you might have just had enough calories left over to have the burger--though I realize getting the burger doesn't help you break your bad habits. I guess my point is that a lot of new members on the forum think whenever they're trying to lose weight they must eat only "diet" foods like everything baked not fried and everything water and everything salad--i.e. yucky and austere. When in reality its got to be a lifestyle change for the weight to stay gone (meaning generally monitoring total calories versus types of foods since we know eventually we will tire of salads and plain water). Does that make sense without sounding like any sort of critique of what you're doing (cuz I'm not you're doing great :)).
 
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