Happy and Healthy and it feels fantastic!

happyandhealthy

happyandhealthy

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Okay, Happyandhealthy's weight loss diary take two...hehe

I came on here several months ago thinking I was ready for weight loss however I was being a bit unrealistic at where I was in my recovery from my eating disorder.

However the past two weeks something amazing has happened. I haven't binged AT ALL for 12 days! Which is incredible! And the best part is, it's not just because things have been nice for me so it's been easy. Far from it, I have had sooooo much shit going on and i've managed to work through the horrible feelings rather than binging to supress them.

It's been 12 days, and in that time I haven't been thinking about calories or avoiding "bad" foods. In fact I HAVE to eat "bad" foods as part of my recovery. If I feel like i'm not allowed something I will want it badly and end up binging. If I know I am allowed something then I will only eat if I really genuinely want it. And it's amazing how little I want when I have permission to eat anything!!! Such a major breakthrough than one was!

I looked back over my food diary for the past 12 days and naturally, listening to my body, eating when i'm hungry and eating what ever I want, my calories have averaged at about 1850 a day. That's such a major drop from the 4000+ I would consume most days with my eating disorder.

And in the past 12 days I have gone from 222.6lbs to 219.4lbs. Without even thinking about calories or restricting foods!

I feel so happy and this is such a major breakthough for me. So I thought i'd start myself another diary. I am not going to start thinking about calories, I am going to let my body have what it wants naturally and so far that is working.

Today I am going back to the gym for the first time in ages. I know this will help with weightloss, but once again, i'm not going to get hung up on how many calories I am burning. I am going to focus on listening to my body and doing what feels right to become fitter and healthier.

Feeling so good right now!!!!!

:party:
 
I am happy for you happyandhealthy, it sounds like you are going the right way about it. It's hard when a person tries to "restrict" cuz than I just end up privately hoarding my "bad food" and that's a poor habit.

Congratulations on the 12 day mark!!! Keep pushin it to the next and next and next!!! You can do this! I have faith in you!

Great Job on the WL too!! ;)
 
Wow, that is really amazing. I have been at my weight loss thing for about a year, but my binging tendencies started popping up 6 months ago again. I would binge, and sometimes even purge afterwards.

Well, I am making today DAY 1 of my no binging thing :) Thanks for inspiring me :)

And I get what you're saying about the "give yourself permission and you tend to want only what you need instead of more"! AHA, breakthrough for me too!!!! :seeya:
 
Hi guys! Thanks for the support, it's awesome to know i've got people cheering me on!

Ankebuzz - you won't believe how much a difference that small change in attitude can have. I recommend you check out and read the binge eating section of the forum. A lot of people are talking about intuitive eating and legalization and that's exactly what made it all click for me!

Well, just got back from the gym. First time in well over a month. I am back to my running training (which anyone who followed my last diary will know about) for the Race for Life in June. Had to go almost back to the beginning, but I did pretty well on it and had a lot of energy left over to do some more cardio and weights. Feels good!

I'll probably only clock in here once a week to track my progress, most of my musings I do on the eating disorder forum so that my focus is not on weightloss but on recovery.

Here are my stats for this week according to the body composition analyzer at the gym:

Weight: 99.9kg (haha...wow...so glad it's under 100!)
Fat %: 48.5%
Fat mass: 48.5kg

Right leg: 49.9%
Left leg: 49.4%
Right arm: 54.5%
Left arm: 55.1%
Trunk: 46.4%
 
Okay, so (almost) a week later I'm back with an update.

Things are still good with my eating disorder, though I have noticed these past few days that i've had a serious cravings for chocolate. Part of my ED recovery means that I can't restrict foods...If I want chocolate, I should have it. Not exactly ideal for weightloss! haha...but overall my food choices have been much more balanced.

I went to the gym 5 days over the past week and my running training has been going well!

I'm off to amsterdam for 5 days tomorrow so i'm not expecting any miracles in the weight department. As long as I don't put on i'll be happy :)

So....analysis thingymajig.

Weight: 99.6kg (Down 0.3)
Fat %: 48% (Down 0.5)
Fat mass: 47.8kg (Down 0.7)

Right leg: 49.5% (Down 0.4)
Left leg: 49.1% (Down 0.3)
Right arm: 54.3% (Down 0.2)
Left arm: 54.7% (Down 0.4)
Trunk: 45.6% (Down 0.8)

No amazing losses but considering i'm not counting calories and i'm still eating chocolate and chips and stuff it's pretty good! As long as those numbers are going down i'm happy, doesn't matter by how much.

I am especially happy with the 0.7kg total fatloss and the 0.8% loss from my "trunk"

Yay!

:party:
 
Congratulations!
You have such a good attitude to food, we should all listen to our bodies more rather than religiously counting calories although this is what works for alot of people, but if this is working for you then great!
Good Luck in your goal :)
 
I checked out that site, pretty cool, thanks :)

Well done on the general downward trend! That is really good with chocolates and chips in the picture :) AND HEALTHIER WITH THOSE TREATS TOO!!!
 
Well I got back from my holiday a day ago, expecting to have put on weight from rather large quantities of beer!

Today I weighed myself and it said 217.6!!!!! That means i've lost 5lbs! Woohoo!

Won't be in the gym for another day or so cause i've got the flu. Can't wait to get back to my running training though!
 
WOWWWWWW!!!!! Well done! You must have been sticking to them healthy principles even if you eased off on the strictness a bit. I salute you! :gnorsi:
 
yay it worked! (on ps3)

update!!!!

fat % 47.7 down 0.3
fat mass 47.4 down 0.4
r leg 49.3 down 0.2
l leg 48.9 down 0.2
r arm 54.3 same
l arm 54.8 up 0.1
trunk 45.1 down 0.5

my left arm got fatter!!! haha

overall very good... yay!!!
 
haha yeah, what's with that???

had an awesome workout yesterday. ran for 16mins, up from 12 last session!!!
muscles sore now, but in a good way! reminds me that i've really achieved something!

:hurray:
 
had a good run today, 15 mins. i'm so glad i'm keeping up to date with my training!!!

it was hard work though. i've been struggling with my ED these past few days and the extra food in my belly and sugar and crap in my system certainly takes it's toll.

i know what has triggered it and unfortunately it's something i can't change right now so i need to find my strength again so that i can deal with it without turning to food.

i'm gunnakick it in the butt before it has a chance to take over my life again!
 
I know how hard it is (even if you are totally aware of the why and how) to try stop yourself from eating emotionally. It's an extreme compulsion, and once I get going I zone out and get numb... and don't stop. Just remember that this too will pass.:grouphug:
 
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