emmasdiary
New member
Hi there.
I am joining up here again and starting a diary to help me keep focus while I try to get my life together.
History: I have had problems with food and my weight for years. I have finally started to get to grips with it in the last 2 years. I used to be nearly 200 pounds, I am now back down to 161. Which is fantastic. But I still have a lot of self-punishing habits that I am trying my hardest to erode. I smoke. When I go out, I always drink way too much. Then I wake up the next day in a hungover stupor, feeling terrible, looking even worse, with vows of never drinking again, until the next weekend rolls around and the cycle continues.
Obviously, drinking leads to eating rubbish food and not exercising, so the whole thing is tightly connected and I'm just over it. I just feel like I'm ready to be happy, you know what I mean?
Anyway, this morning I booked flights to visit my friend in London in 3 weeks time, and in the interlude, I want to lead a healthy, vibrant life, go to the gym, cook all my meals, relax, enjoy myself and stop the bad food choices. I also think it's good to have a treat lined up, with my trip away to keep me focused.
Today, I am hungover and feeling terrible, and it's really beautiful outside, so it's such a shame, but this is the last day of self-pity, self-loathing and putting my energy into negative stuff.
I'm really lucky at the moment, my job is going great, I have amazing friends and the loveliest parents in the world, so there's no excuses anymore. I need to do this.
Plan for day 1 is gym in the morning, go home for dinner after work, early night. No cigs, no sugar. Sounds simple, doesn't it?
Back tomorrow for the update.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I am joining up here again and starting a diary to help me keep focus while I try to get my life together.
History: I have had problems with food and my weight for years. I have finally started to get to grips with it in the last 2 years. I used to be nearly 200 pounds, I am now back down to 161. Which is fantastic. But I still have a lot of self-punishing habits that I am trying my hardest to erode. I smoke. When I go out, I always drink way too much. Then I wake up the next day in a hungover stupor, feeling terrible, looking even worse, with vows of never drinking again, until the next weekend rolls around and the cycle continues.
Obviously, drinking leads to eating rubbish food and not exercising, so the whole thing is tightly connected and I'm just over it. I just feel like I'm ready to be happy, you know what I mean?
Anyway, this morning I booked flights to visit my friend in London in 3 weeks time, and in the interlude, I want to lead a healthy, vibrant life, go to the gym, cook all my meals, relax, enjoy myself and stop the bad food choices. I also think it's good to have a treat lined up, with my trip away to keep me focused.
Today, I am hungover and feeling terrible, and it's really beautiful outside, so it's such a shame, but this is the last day of self-pity, self-loathing and putting my energy into negative stuff.
I'm really lucky at the moment, my job is going great, I have amazing friends and the loveliest parents in the world, so there's no excuses anymore. I need to do this.
Plan for day 1 is gym in the morning, go home for dinner after work, early night. No cigs, no sugar. Sounds simple, doesn't it?
Back tomorrow for the update.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I read back over what is left of your old diary 
& could say exactly the same thing again. You are a lovely, thoughtful person and it is good that you are reassessing the way your life is going. It is hard to make big choices that go against the culture of your friends & your age group. I am hoping that our younger son decides to stop drinking one day, but the pressure to drink is huge. He loses a lot of his nights. Pfft. Gone.