Fat Cat
New member
I seriously need this to keep myself honest. I just got done creating an intro thread if anyone is interested, but this is what I really need. I'm gonna lay it all out there in this publicly anonymous forum and hope this time it "sticks," that publicly journaling and seeing the progress.
I actually told my husband what I weighed this morning. He really pissed me off because he came in telling me what he weighed. I outweigh him by five pounds.
Granted, I get cardio in, I lift weights, I'm solid for my size, but I feel like a battleship. I used to be able to wear a size 10 skirt, now an 18 is damned tight. I'd be happy with a 12 but I just want to wear normal clothes again.
Okay, so let's get the ugly details over with:
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 231.5 (as of this morning)
Chest: 40.5"
Bust: 45
Waist: 37
Thigh: 26
Current plan: I'm eating 2000 calories a day, broken into nutrient macros of 40% protein, 30% carb and 30% fat, in about three meals and two or three snacks. I'm shooting for a minimum of 30 minutes cardio at least five days a week, either walking outdoors, elliptical trainer or stationary bike and free weight training at least three days a week.
Oh, and no alcohol, no alcohol, NO ALCOHOL!
So far I'm already running into the hunger problem. This morning I broke down and had to have a snack two hours after my "breakfast."
I'm tracking my calories and exercise through my Calorie King desktop software. I've got a main exercise log I keep in the weight room, I'm not going to be detailing that here, I know what the nicknames of Chest Day, Back Day or Deads means.
Wednesday, Jan. 28: So let's see ... I got serious Wednesday. Weighed myself and wanted to
Ate 1932 calories, hit the bike for 30 minutes and no drinkies despite the fact DH brought home a bottle. I was feeling very proud of myself but worried about the sleep issue, then I read this:
The liver cells are the only cells in the body that can make adequate amounts of the enzyme, alcohol dehydrogenase. This is what effectively breaks down alcohol. When alcohol is present the liver cells are forced to metabolize alcohol (not fat) and the fatty acids accumulate. In other words the liver is too busy detoxifying the alcohol that has been consumed that it doesn?t burn fat effectively.
Alcohol actually counts as 2 servings of fat per 4-5 ounces of wine, 1 light beer or 1 ounce of hard liquor according to the diabetic exchange system.
Alcohol is a harsh diuretic, but by being a diuretic, alcohol depletes the water soluble B vitamins. The B vitamins have numerous functions in the body (fighting stress and helping us digest food properly) but in terms of weight management they are important in supporting the fat burning process.
Rather than getting stored as fat, the main fate of alcohol is conversion into a substance called acetate. In fact, blood levels of acetate after drinking vodka were 2.5 times higher than normal. And it appears this sharp rise in acetate puts the brakes on fat loss.
A car engine typically uses only one source of fuel. Your body, on the other hand, draws from a number of different energy sources, such as carbohydrate, fat, and protein. To a certain extent, the source of fuel your body uses is dictated by its availability. In other words, your body tends to use whatever you feed it. Consequently, when acetate levels rise, your body simply burns more acetate, and less fat. In essence, acetate pushes fat to the back of the queue.
The implication hit me squarely between the eyes, no matter how much you work out, how carefully you eat through the day, if you have a drink or two before bed you might as well throw all your good efforts out the window. Our infinitely adaptive bodies will burn the fuel it has handy. I also found another piece that shows that apparently alcohol consumption drops metabolism by about 40% for several hours. Well, clearly, none of this helps a 40+ year old woman lose weight and in fact it's going to just sabotage everything.
So I decided to try something new, no alcohol, not even a little glass of wine. The relaxing before bed is a hard thing for me, I'm a high stress person, I've had sleep problems most of my life, relying on my nightcap got to be easily ... about 60+ pounds of easy.
I can't go on like this though. I'm in decent enough shape, believe it or not, but I hate the sight of myself in a mirror. My DH loves me but I don't feel desirable and that screws things up in the uh, bedroom because I don't feel confident ... oh, and the clothing issue. I'm running out. I just don't know where to shop and I'm so uncomfortable with my body that I haven't shopped since forever and everything I own is beginning to literally disintegrate (I'm self employed so I can get away with having a pretty shabby wardrobe). I actually have a life, I need to be out and among human beings and I need to either "man up" and go buy clothing or get my ass into gear and get rid of my ass.
Thursday, Jan. 29: Yesterday I was better, hit the bike 35 minutes in the morning after my breakfast banana shake (it's not a skimpy shake, it's over 300 calories with 1% milk, 1/2 oz of walnut and most of a banana) and hit it again for 20 minutes after lunch. Even better, got back to the weights after a more than two week hiatus. Ate totally on plan, 2052 calories and hit my goals for macros. Went to bed feeling very proud of myself. Sleep was a little slow in coming because my DH was having a bad day and was wound up ... but I eventually got there and again slept through the night once I crashed out.
Friday, Jan. 30: Today has not been the best so far, I only manged 20 minutes on the bike, my knees just started killing me. I plan on doing 20 more minutes after lunch and I intended to do deads tonight anyway so I can't do too much to my legs, anyway. I'm hoping the knees are just a work hardening thing, I've had problems with them off and on but this is point tenderness right over my kneecap, going up and down stairs is actually painful.
Fierce hunger pangs started within two hours after the shake and normally it carries me until lunch. I panicked, I had a 200 calorie chicken and cheese snack and realized I need accountability, I need to journal this stuff out. I need to vent about wanting a drink or wanting to eat or hating the fact I have a big gut and I can't keep dumping this on my husband. I'm a very private person at my core. Here I am anonymous, this place can be safe for me.
I've mentioned alcohol a lot in this post. I'm not an alcoholic and I don't need to hear that. My problem with drinking is frequency more than excessiveness. I fell into the very bad habit of having a mixed drink or two, working out to be between 3 and 6 ounces of vodka, a night. It's not so much when you've built up a level of tolerance, and it doesn't help that I'm not a small chick and my tolerance is higher to begin with just because of the size. Like I've said, it got to be an easy way to relax and fall asleep.
Okay, so that's my first post. It's going on lunchtime so I'm going to go cook some broccoli and chicken and maybe something else, I dunno, gotta run the numbers before I make the meal.
I'll probably touch back later, kind of cathartic this journaling.
I actually told my husband what I weighed this morning. He really pissed me off because he came in telling me what he weighed. I outweigh him by five pounds.
Granted, I get cardio in, I lift weights, I'm solid for my size, but I feel like a battleship. I used to be able to wear a size 10 skirt, now an 18 is damned tight. I'd be happy with a 12 but I just want to wear normal clothes again.
Okay, so let's get the ugly details over with:
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 231.5 (as of this morning)
Chest: 40.5"
Bust: 45
Waist: 37
Thigh: 26
Current plan: I'm eating 2000 calories a day, broken into nutrient macros of 40% protein, 30% carb and 30% fat, in about three meals and two or three snacks. I'm shooting for a minimum of 30 minutes cardio at least five days a week, either walking outdoors, elliptical trainer or stationary bike and free weight training at least three days a week.
Oh, and no alcohol, no alcohol, NO ALCOHOL!
So far I'm already running into the hunger problem. This morning I broke down and had to have a snack two hours after my "breakfast."
I'm tracking my calories and exercise through my Calorie King desktop software. I've got a main exercise log I keep in the weight room, I'm not going to be detailing that here, I know what the nicknames of Chest Day, Back Day or Deads means.
Wednesday, Jan. 28: So let's see ... I got serious Wednesday. Weighed myself and wanted to
Ate 1932 calories, hit the bike for 30 minutes and no drinkies despite the fact DH brought home a bottle. I was feeling very proud of myself but worried about the sleep issue, then I read this:The liver cells are the only cells in the body that can make adequate amounts of the enzyme, alcohol dehydrogenase. This is what effectively breaks down alcohol. When alcohol is present the liver cells are forced to metabolize alcohol (not fat) and the fatty acids accumulate. In other words the liver is too busy detoxifying the alcohol that has been consumed that it doesn?t burn fat effectively.
Alcohol actually counts as 2 servings of fat per 4-5 ounces of wine, 1 light beer or 1 ounce of hard liquor according to the diabetic exchange system.
Alcohol is a harsh diuretic, but by being a diuretic, alcohol depletes the water soluble B vitamins. The B vitamins have numerous functions in the body (fighting stress and helping us digest food properly) but in terms of weight management they are important in supporting the fat burning process.
Rather than getting stored as fat, the main fate of alcohol is conversion into a substance called acetate. In fact, blood levels of acetate after drinking vodka were 2.5 times higher than normal. And it appears this sharp rise in acetate puts the brakes on fat loss.
A car engine typically uses only one source of fuel. Your body, on the other hand, draws from a number of different energy sources, such as carbohydrate, fat, and protein. To a certain extent, the source of fuel your body uses is dictated by its availability. In other words, your body tends to use whatever you feed it. Consequently, when acetate levels rise, your body simply burns more acetate, and less fat. In essence, acetate pushes fat to the back of the queue.
The implication hit me squarely between the eyes, no matter how much you work out, how carefully you eat through the day, if you have a drink or two before bed you might as well throw all your good efforts out the window. Our infinitely adaptive bodies will burn the fuel it has handy. I also found another piece that shows that apparently alcohol consumption drops metabolism by about 40% for several hours. Well, clearly, none of this helps a 40+ year old woman lose weight and in fact it's going to just sabotage everything.
So I decided to try something new, no alcohol, not even a little glass of wine. The relaxing before bed is a hard thing for me, I'm a high stress person, I've had sleep problems most of my life, relying on my nightcap got to be easily ... about 60+ pounds of easy.
I can't go on like this though. I'm in decent enough shape, believe it or not, but I hate the sight of myself in a mirror. My DH loves me but I don't feel desirable and that screws things up in the uh, bedroom because I don't feel confident ... oh, and the clothing issue. I'm running out. I just don't know where to shop and I'm so uncomfortable with my body that I haven't shopped since forever and everything I own is beginning to literally disintegrate (I'm self employed so I can get away with having a pretty shabby wardrobe). I actually have a life, I need to be out and among human beings and I need to either "man up" and go buy clothing or get my ass into gear and get rid of my ass.
Thursday, Jan. 29: Yesterday I was better, hit the bike 35 minutes in the morning after my breakfast banana shake (it's not a skimpy shake, it's over 300 calories with 1% milk, 1/2 oz of walnut and most of a banana) and hit it again for 20 minutes after lunch. Even better, got back to the weights after a more than two week hiatus. Ate totally on plan, 2052 calories and hit my goals for macros. Went to bed feeling very proud of myself. Sleep was a little slow in coming because my DH was having a bad day and was wound up ... but I eventually got there and again slept through the night once I crashed out.
Friday, Jan. 30: Today has not been the best so far, I only manged 20 minutes on the bike, my knees just started killing me. I plan on doing 20 more minutes after lunch and I intended to do deads tonight anyway so I can't do too much to my legs, anyway. I'm hoping the knees are just a work hardening thing, I've had problems with them off and on but this is point tenderness right over my kneecap, going up and down stairs is actually painful.
Fierce hunger pangs started within two hours after the shake and normally it carries me until lunch. I panicked, I had a 200 calorie chicken and cheese snack and realized I need accountability, I need to journal this stuff out. I need to vent about wanting a drink or wanting to eat or hating the fact I have a big gut and I can't keep dumping this on my husband. I'm a very private person at my core. Here I am anonymous, this place can be safe for me.
I've mentioned alcohol a lot in this post. I'm not an alcoholic and I don't need to hear that. My problem with drinking is frequency more than excessiveness. I fell into the very bad habit of having a mixed drink or two, working out to be between 3 and 6 ounces of vodka, a night. It's not so much when you've built up a level of tolerance, and it doesn't help that I'm not a small chick and my tolerance is higher to begin with just because of the size. Like I've said, it got to be an easy way to relax and fall asleep.
Okay, so that's my first post. It's going on lunchtime so I'm going to go cook some broccoli and chicken and maybe something else, I dunno, gotta run the numbers before I make the meal.
I'll probably touch back later, kind of cathartic this journaling.
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1.5 to 2 pounds a week is exactly where I want to be. 