GrotesqueDivine
New member
I'm new here, having a look around. Oh and please, don't let the moody contents of my profile give you the wrong idea. I'm not looking to down anyone or lower morale. I'm just really at a loss for what to do next.
I am 22. Over the last...hmm, well roughly three or four years I've lost a bit over 100 pounds. I was previously pushing 300 lbs a few years ago and now I'm down to about 150. Possibly the only thing grosser than the profuse flaps of loose skin I now posess is perhaps the method in which I lost some of my weight.
I don't honestly think it accounted for very much of the weight loss because it wasn't until I became strict about nutrition, discipline, and excercise that I REALLY started losing weight but... I was bulimic for a few years, though a bit different. I ate what I wanted and threw it up. I was vomitting at least once a day, though typically it was about 2-3 times daily and occasionally more. I was/am a food addict, have always found food comforting, and have had a remarkeably horrible last few years. Thusly, it just encouraged the cycle.
So as a predictable result my hair has thinned horribly and my teeth are in wretched disrepair that will require god-knows-how much money and time to fix. Had I been able to reach my weight goal, sadly, I inwardly think it may almost have been worth it.
But now I'm stuck in this purgatory. I hate my body about as much as I did when I was much fatter. I obsess about it. I can't stop thinking about how I look. I'm very short too, about 5' 1" which doesn't help.
I did ditch the bulimia (recently) in case you were wondering. I've become very well versed in how nutrition and portions work. I've cut out an extra-ordinary amount of crap food from my diet and have been doing pretty well for about a year and a half on my restricted diet. My god I haven't touched ice cream in nearly two years.
My body obsession has a firm grip on my everyday life. I still hate looking in mirrors. And my body is disporportionate. My upper half houses these 'loose skin fat roll' type things that I really can't do anything with. I look bad in anything I wear. *sigh* You'd think losing that much weight would solve a few problems but it's clothes shopping is still the impossible battle it was years ago. It can't be too tight, not too loose, those STUPID hardly-any-sleeve t-shirts that are the norm now enrage me because I WOULD fit into them nicely is not for the disgusting, sagging skin under my upper arms. After losing over 100 pounds, I STILL wish I could just walk around wearing a berka.
Arhg. This post has become very long. Anyway....in conclusion: nice forum, I look forward to posting here in the future. Assuming I'm not blocked for the nasty-ness of this intro post.
I am 22. Over the last...hmm, well roughly three or four years I've lost a bit over 100 pounds. I was previously pushing 300 lbs a few years ago and now I'm down to about 150. Possibly the only thing grosser than the profuse flaps of loose skin I now posess is perhaps the method in which I lost some of my weight.
I don't honestly think it accounted for very much of the weight loss because it wasn't until I became strict about nutrition, discipline, and excercise that I REALLY started losing weight but... I was bulimic for a few years, though a bit different. I ate what I wanted and threw it up. I was vomitting at least once a day, though typically it was about 2-3 times daily and occasionally more. I was/am a food addict, have always found food comforting, and have had a remarkeably horrible last few years. Thusly, it just encouraged the cycle.
So as a predictable result my hair has thinned horribly and my teeth are in wretched disrepair that will require god-knows-how much money and time to fix. Had I been able to reach my weight goal, sadly, I inwardly think it may almost have been worth it.
But now I'm stuck in this purgatory. I hate my body about as much as I did when I was much fatter. I obsess about it. I can't stop thinking about how I look. I'm very short too, about 5' 1" which doesn't help.
I did ditch the bulimia (recently) in case you were wondering. I've become very well versed in how nutrition and portions work. I've cut out an extra-ordinary amount of crap food from my diet and have been doing pretty well for about a year and a half on my restricted diet. My god I haven't touched ice cream in nearly two years.
My body obsession has a firm grip on my everyday life. I still hate looking in mirrors. And my body is disporportionate. My upper half houses these 'loose skin fat roll' type things that I really can't do anything with. I look bad in anything I wear. *sigh* You'd think losing that much weight would solve a few problems but it's clothes shopping is still the impossible battle it was years ago. It can't be too tight, not too loose, those STUPID hardly-any-sleeve t-shirts that are the norm now enrage me because I WOULD fit into them nicely is not for the disgusting, sagging skin under my upper arms. After losing over 100 pounds, I STILL wish I could just walk around wearing a berka.
Arhg. This post has become very long. Anyway....in conclusion: nice forum, I look forward to posting here in the future. Assuming I'm not blocked for the nasty-ness of this intro post.
