This is my first time posting on a forum like this. I am a 27 year old male. The reason for posting is simply lately I have become more depressed than ever about my weight. I was always a heavy kid and I come from a family where no one is really obese but every one has a "full stomach." I was heavy as a kid. Then in College I was able to drop down to 162. I didnt do it the best way as usually Mondays I would have hockey late. Get fast food after. The Tuesday was school, then work, then another teams games, etc so really I only ate meals Monday, Wednesday, Saturday. I also walked 7-9 miles 5 days a week.
The in 2005 I hurt my knee. Had to have surgery. For 6 months I couldnt do anything. Even the exercise bike was too much. After the 6 months I ballooned up to 220. I was able to get down to 215, then 210 by returning to activities. Then I started lifting weights and added 15 pounds of muscle to go to 225.
Last summer I had problems with my legs from all the walking I had been doing for years with really no rest. For 6 months all I could do was the exercise bike 3 days a week. When I did it I would be on for 90 minutes at a time. My weight stayed at 225. Now of a sudden as I return to my long walks (7.5 miles 3-4 times a week and cardio for 30-45 mins the days in between) I notice I am up to 235. I have stopped lifting the weights as it wasnt good for hockey. I have done diets the past 5 years where for 6 months I wont eat any fast food. My weight didnt change. I have done diets where I'd eat what I wanted. The weight didnt change. It keeps going up but nothing has changed.
My doctor tested my thyroid but nothing showed up poor. I have tried xendarine but it didnt do anything. My doctor said I can try some diet pills that are prescription but I have read many have been linked to cancer.
Last November my uncle, a big guy, passed. I rmeember every one describing him as "the heavy set man." I dont want to be known as that when I die. I am 5'9, 240 pounds. My girlfriend tells me when we are out "show me some one that you feel you look like them." I dont see people as fat or skinny, black or white, etc so it isnt easy. Then I will say that one and she will say I look nothing like that.
I always feel that even though I see others as people and I am not prejudice at all I feel people judge me for being heavy. My depression really kicked in when my girlfriend got the wii fit. it sees me as obese and I dred going on that thing.
I am really just looking for help with how to accept myself. It has finally hit a point where I feel like I am an outkast and if my gf and I ever break up then I will be slim pickins and not good enough for any one looks wise. I am tired of having a good hockey game and having some one on the other team come up to me and say "you're really good... for a big guy."
The in 2005 I hurt my knee. Had to have surgery. For 6 months I couldnt do anything. Even the exercise bike was too much. After the 6 months I ballooned up to 220. I was able to get down to 215, then 210 by returning to activities. Then I started lifting weights and added 15 pounds of muscle to go to 225.
Last summer I had problems with my legs from all the walking I had been doing for years with really no rest. For 6 months all I could do was the exercise bike 3 days a week. When I did it I would be on for 90 minutes at a time. My weight stayed at 225. Now of a sudden as I return to my long walks (7.5 miles 3-4 times a week and cardio for 30-45 mins the days in between) I notice I am up to 235. I have stopped lifting the weights as it wasnt good for hockey. I have done diets the past 5 years where for 6 months I wont eat any fast food. My weight didnt change. I have done diets where I'd eat what I wanted. The weight didnt change. It keeps going up but nothing has changed.
My doctor tested my thyroid but nothing showed up poor. I have tried xendarine but it didnt do anything. My doctor said I can try some diet pills that are prescription but I have read many have been linked to cancer.
Last November my uncle, a big guy, passed. I rmeember every one describing him as "the heavy set man." I dont want to be known as that when I die. I am 5'9, 240 pounds. My girlfriend tells me when we are out "show me some one that you feel you look like them." I dont see people as fat or skinny, black or white, etc so it isnt easy. Then I will say that one and she will say I look nothing like that.
I always feel that even though I see others as people and I am not prejudice at all I feel people judge me for being heavy. My depression really kicked in when my girlfriend got the wii fit. it sees me as obese and I dred going on that thing.
I am really just looking for help with how to accept myself. It has finally hit a point where I feel like I am an outkast and if my gf and I ever break up then I will be slim pickins and not good enough for any one looks wise. I am tired of having a good hockey game and having some one on the other team come up to me and say "you're really good... for a big guy."