Fighting fear and ignorance and inabilities (help me)

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VikingHans

VikingHans

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Okay, so... Hi there. My name is Sam. For as long as I can remember I've been obese, and I know it's my fault, and I know it's something possible to fix, but every time I find that spark to lose the weight and be healthy... It just doesn't happen. I get scared, and I get confused, and that makes me even more scared.

I really, really don't want surgery. Not unless all else fails or I am in immediate danger.


I've got a point, so please bear with me.


I struggle on a daily basis with multiple mental disorders and phobia which make the journey that much harder. My severe anxiety disorder coupled with acute agoraphobia means I can't go to the gym to work out - not to mention the monthly fee I can't afford.

"You clearly just don't want to, then, because if you did you'd do it and not make excuses." I would agree with you if I didn't have such a violent bodily reaction to trying. Heart wants, brain can't, body refuses.

I can do exercises at home. I know that. I try, but it's hard, since I also suffer with bi-lateral hip separation meaning there are very few things I can do without hurting. Corrective surgery is on the table for that, but not for many years out still. I'm going to hurt no matter what I do, I've come to terms with that, and so that opens up a few doors.

At some point I realized my problem was more than my mental and physical barriers. It was that I didn't know things, and the things I did know didn't make much sense. I can't handle a lot of information before I get confused and overwhelmed so counting calories and calculating meals and exercise? That's... I can't. I've tried and I will keep trying but I can't. My brain just doesn't function that way.

Here comes my point. Good on you for keeping up with my rambling so far.

I know people know what works, and if you do what works, results will show. I also know that there is always an alternative, wiggle room, a way for you to do something and achieve the same results but without having to walk down a path others can and you can't. Like an amputee archer using legs and toes instead of arms and hands.

I can really only handle one thing at a time. After a while, my brain doesn't handle it anymore, but my body will do it without my brain helping. Muscle memory. It's a blessing.

I need to start exercising. I can't do what normal people do, but I can do one thing and eat one meal and do that until it sticks and move onto the next thing. I don't get bored, I don't crave variety, I'm fine eating one meal for the next five years.

I have very little prior experience exercising. Walking. Slow walking. Hobbling. That's it.


I need one exercise I can do every day, and one meal I can make in bulk and eat and be the only thing I eat.

I understand working different areas of the body to lose weight in different places but I can't handle "work and on Tuesday" and "work legs on Friday" and "cardio on Monday" etc. I can't. Not all at once. One thing, every day, until it sticks and then I can move onto something else and after that, something else, and then I'm doing three things and not having to focus on it and I don't break down.

I'm sure this all sounds like nonsense, assuming I'm even making sense, but this is me and this is how I need to do things. I have the motivation. I just need help with altering the method.

I can and will give up all my eating habits. I have.

I can and will exercise within my limitations. I just don't know what to do or for how long or when too much is too much.

My issues, for reference:

-Severe anxiety disorder (tied to past abuse and trauma)
-Severe depression (tied to past abuse and trauma)
-Schizo-affective disorder
-Agoraphobia
-Xenophobia
-Generalized & acute confusion
-Short and long term memory issues (tied to past abuse and trauma)
-Bi-Lateral hip separation
-Heart Palpitations (tied to anxiety)


Current diet: I forget to eat, and often. When I do remember to eat I mostly binge eat to make up for 'time lost' (I know it doesn't make sense) but the things I binge eat are things like rice and canned vegetables. This results in me eating one big meal once a day or sometimes once every other and few days. This sounds like I should be losing weight but I do not. It fluctuates.

Current exercise: Walking. Hobbling. I don't know what to do or what I can do. I don't know exercise terminology or how long to do certain exercises or what happens if I do the same exercise for hours instead of half an hour (which will happen I can almost guarantee.)

I don't know what else to say. I just know I need help and to not be ignorant anymore and to figure out what I can do so I lose fat and be healthier. Consider me an experiment. Take what you know and please help me build a plan of attack. I will do it and I will not flake. That's just how my mind works. Find what works and do that. No variation. No stopping. Like a broken machine/record.

Please and thank you.

Also, I'm sorry.
 
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Try blogilates calenders also 28 rest day challenge also check blogilates on YouTube maybe it will help
 
Does your Agoraphobia keep you stuck indoors - or do you have a yard or garden where you can exercise?

Since you have hip problems - it would be a good idea to discuss your exercise plans with your doctor. It may be that things like squats and step exercises could help strengthen that area - but you really need medical advice before embarking on any such exercise.

Without the agoraphobia - I would think of swimming - but unless you have a swimming pool that you can access that will not be an option.

If your problem were simply agoraphobia - without the hip problems - I would suggest a treadmill and possibly taking up skipping for cardio...

Exercises involving weights would be beneficial too.
 
My Agoraphobia does usually keep me indoors. It's hard for me not to turn into a hermit. I have space in my room to exercise though. I would love nothing more than to swim, because it helps take the pain away, but there is no place to swim where I live and I can't commute.

Weights seem feasible. How do I exercise with weights? How many times should I lift a weight? How long should I lift weights per day? How do I know when I'm lifting too much or too often?
 
If we are lucky Trusylver will pop in to give weight advice as she has forgotten more about weights than I'll ever know - a real expert.

In the meantime it would be worth you browsing through the "exercise" and "weight loss through exercise" sections.

Its such a shame that you feel unable to get to a swimming pool when that relieves your pain. Since you say that you cannot commute - I am wondering whether your Agoraphobia would allow you to get out locally. Especially if you were accompanied by a friend. There may be a swimming pool locally that would allow you access - or maybe your hospital could give suggestions - for instance physios may use a pool. I know here that for instance the public can gain access to swimming pools at some local schools or as a visitor to gyms. The best form of exercise is always going to be one that gives you pleasure - and I would imagine that pain relief would tick those boxes.
 
Swimming would be great if you could get out to do it, however looking at your exercise from a strength training perspective and If I could only choose 1 exercise it would be squat. This becomes a problem in your case due to your Bi-Lateral hip separation. For this the best option is to spend time working with a physiotherapist on rehab exercises to strengthen the hips and reduce pain levels based on your individual needs. Without access to a physio then there are a few corrective exercises which can be done to stabilise the hip before moving on to more fitness related exercises.

stage 1 exercises are

Sidelying clam (Each leg)
Sidelying hip abduction (Each leg)
Donkey kick (Each leg)
Glute Bridge

3 sets of 20 each (All exercises are bodyweight only)

when these sets and reps can be done with minimal fatigue, perfect form, and no pain with any exercise, then you can move on to more difficult exercise including Sumo squat w/band around knees, Glute Bridge on ball and Glute/ham raises (This exercise needs special equipment or a training partner).

With your anxiety etc. If you need to only do one exercise then work your way through the list until you master each one.
 
I will try to follow up with my doctor about my hips and possibly doing aquatic therapy. There is only one public pool in my town and it's only open a few weeks out of the year. I don't know of any other pools to use except those in other cities and, again, I can't commute.

I have no friends able to go into town with me. It's part of the Agoraphobia. I can't handle people well.

I will try those exercises. Thank you, it's at least a little direction. I don't understand what a set is. Do each exercise twenty times, three times? Twenty times, wait, twenty times again, wait, twenty times one more time? How fast should I do the exercises? How long do I wait between each '20'?
 
yes you do the exercise in 3 groups of 20, speed should be a moderate pace, not super slow and not rushed. wait for 3 minutes between each group of 20, you can wait longer if you have trouble recovering, a lot depends on how bad your hips are.
 
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