puffenstuff
New member
Carols Diary , start weight 204lbs
Hi , I joined just over a week ago, at 204lbs, target weight 130lbs .
Im a 51 female , the weight has crept up over the years, but skyrocketed the last 2 yrs .
Thinking about why was important to me, besides over eating, I also stopped smoking and for about 6 months just craved food 24/7.
For almost the whole of 2009 I was in and out of hospital with unexplained severe anaemia, plus lots of hospital tests to discover why , (heavy periods).
I also had an operation to remove an ovary for suspected cancer , in and out of hospital with a twisted ovary due to the size of the cyst whilst waiting for the operation ( got the all clear on the cancer) , the operation was cancelled many times due to waiting for the results of heart tests to make sure I was fit enough to have the operation.
The operation triggered an immediate menopause.
Then around the exact same time, due to breathlessness, palpitations, chest pains etc, I was in and out of hospital for heart tests , suspected heart attacks, but the end verdict for now was trace abnormalities/non specific changes . Dismissed by my Doctor with the breezy comment that my heart is fine , but it scares the crap out of me still , as I dont really understand what that meant , Ive asked a few times and the Doctor just glosses over it or tells me not to worry, it also worries me in case I do too much exercise as I dont want the pains to come back ( once I stopped smoking and tackled the anaemia the pains went about a year ago ).
Ok, I realise this sounds less like weight and more like health , but despite getting the all clear from cancer & major heart problems, I then spent 2010 being depressed and comfort/binge eating. I should have been glad to be alive , but for some reason I felt flat, flat, flat, its only been the last month or so Ive felt better mentally & decided to make changes to my life.
So my next few challenges were to get a job, after being a stay at home mother for the last 20 yrs , it wasnt meant to be 20 yrs but one of my kids was ADHD/Aspergers and it was a combination of time flying, his bad behaviours 24/7 and lack of self esteem and I liked hiding away at home as im shy, I dont even like typing it but its true.
Anyway this last month I got a new job as an evening cleaner for 2 hours every night, doesnt sound like much but im proud of myself because I didnt think I would work again, I felt as though my life was over sometimes these last few years, I just felt washed up & constantly tired, my family didnt think I would get a job with so many people chasing jobs , or stick to it , or be fit enough to do it, so going for an interview, getting offered the job and walking there and back for the exercise , then 2 hours solid cleaning monday to friday counts as exercise to me , gives me a modest income & references, so I can help out my husband who works so hard for the whole family. It forces me to also bump into the people in the offices I clean and make small talk, Im so out of practice with everything. The job is going well , ive been working there 2 weeks and as logn as I pace myself ive not had any problems or chest pains or breathlessness, in fact once i got over feeling exhausted on day 1 & 2, i dont feel tired doing it now and have speeded up and i think im doing a better job of cleaning this office block , its 4 floors to hoover and toilets and lots of walking up stairs carrying things.
So the next issue after smoking and work is my weight , I want to shed the extra pounds and break out of this dead weight Im carrying around for no point , its not about my appearance ,so much as my health and wanting the energy to join in more fun things with my family .
These last few years have taught me its not about death either this year, next year or even 20 years, its not about getting fit just to ward off death , no matter how many yogurts we drink or how fit we are , I accept it will happen one day, its about really LIVING right now, one day at a time , being full of energy, fit and healthy , well thats my goal , I want to put a smile back on my face and get back into really living and getting out of my house.
As I get closer and closer to my goal weight , my next challenge will be social activities/volunteer opportunties , I want to swing the pendulum away from being fat, housebound and depressed , to outgoing , slim and proactive in the lives of my family, friends and community.
Thanks for listening
Carol
ps this is the end of week 1 and ive lost 5 lbs.
Hi , I joined just over a week ago, at 204lbs, target weight 130lbs .
Im a 51 female , the weight has crept up over the years, but skyrocketed the last 2 yrs .
Thinking about why was important to me, besides over eating, I also stopped smoking and for about 6 months just craved food 24/7.
For almost the whole of 2009 I was in and out of hospital with unexplained severe anaemia, plus lots of hospital tests to discover why , (heavy periods).
I also had an operation to remove an ovary for suspected cancer , in and out of hospital with a twisted ovary due to the size of the cyst whilst waiting for the operation ( got the all clear on the cancer) , the operation was cancelled many times due to waiting for the results of heart tests to make sure I was fit enough to have the operation.
The operation triggered an immediate menopause.
Then around the exact same time, due to breathlessness, palpitations, chest pains etc, I was in and out of hospital for heart tests , suspected heart attacks, but the end verdict for now was trace abnormalities/non specific changes . Dismissed by my Doctor with the breezy comment that my heart is fine , but it scares the crap out of me still , as I dont really understand what that meant , Ive asked a few times and the Doctor just glosses over it or tells me not to worry, it also worries me in case I do too much exercise as I dont want the pains to come back ( once I stopped smoking and tackled the anaemia the pains went about a year ago ).
Ok, I realise this sounds less like weight and more like health , but despite getting the all clear from cancer & major heart problems, I then spent 2010 being depressed and comfort/binge eating. I should have been glad to be alive , but for some reason I felt flat, flat, flat, its only been the last month or so Ive felt better mentally & decided to make changes to my life.
So my next few challenges were to get a job, after being a stay at home mother for the last 20 yrs , it wasnt meant to be 20 yrs but one of my kids was ADHD/Aspergers and it was a combination of time flying, his bad behaviours 24/7 and lack of self esteem and I liked hiding away at home as im shy, I dont even like typing it but its true.
Anyway this last month I got a new job as an evening cleaner for 2 hours every night, doesnt sound like much but im proud of myself because I didnt think I would work again, I felt as though my life was over sometimes these last few years, I just felt washed up & constantly tired, my family didnt think I would get a job with so many people chasing jobs , or stick to it , or be fit enough to do it, so going for an interview, getting offered the job and walking there and back for the exercise , then 2 hours solid cleaning monday to friday counts as exercise to me , gives me a modest income & references, so I can help out my husband who works so hard for the whole family. It forces me to also bump into the people in the offices I clean and make small talk, Im so out of practice with everything. The job is going well , ive been working there 2 weeks and as logn as I pace myself ive not had any problems or chest pains or breathlessness, in fact once i got over feeling exhausted on day 1 & 2, i dont feel tired doing it now and have speeded up and i think im doing a better job of cleaning this office block , its 4 floors to hoover and toilets and lots of walking up stairs carrying things.
So the next issue after smoking and work is my weight , I want to shed the extra pounds and break out of this dead weight Im carrying around for no point , its not about my appearance ,so much as my health and wanting the energy to join in more fun things with my family .
These last few years have taught me its not about death either this year, next year or even 20 years, its not about getting fit just to ward off death , no matter how many yogurts we drink or how fit we are , I accept it will happen one day, its about really LIVING right now, one day at a time , being full of energy, fit and healthy , well thats my goal , I want to put a smile back on my face and get back into really living and getting out of my house.
As I get closer and closer to my goal weight , my next challenge will be social activities/volunteer opportunties , I want to swing the pendulum away from being fat, housebound and depressed , to outgoing , slim and proactive in the lives of my family, friends and community.
Thanks for listening
Carol
ps this is the end of week 1 and ive lost 5 lbs.
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that cant have been easy for you and the last thing on your mind would have been to watch your weight, which is understandable. But your here now and its so fab to hear you have lost 5lb in your first week!
