Fat cat to Hello Kitty - my story :)

PussyCat1

PussyCat1

New member
Ok, so first - I have to thank member Cate for invitation to open my diary.

Here is my story copied from the Motiviation section:

"First, I have to say that English isn't my first language so I hope that everybody will understand me. :)

I'm an European, woman, 34, married, no kids, self employeed, working from home.
I have very stressful period behind me, which resulted in weight gain.
Few weeks ago, I finally stepped on the scale, and it showed 240 pounds, definetely the biggest weight I had in my life. (I'm 5'7)
I admit I suspected and felt that my numbers went too much up, but the real final number really suprised me.

So, somebody could ask - how couldn't you notice what is happening? Well - here's why. I'm actually overweight my whole life, balancing between 165 and 200 lbs, depending on the food and level of my activity. I was actually even in few sports and activities during my lifetime and I have never been skinny.
So when you get used to extra pounds, it's very easy that those pounds became a part of who you are, and nobody ever expect from you to be smaller. Even I didn't expect that from myself. Of course, everybody expect that you probably love to eat - so you do it.
And you think to yourself - 'I'm overweight already, I've been like that during my lifetime, even when I won some medals. It's who I am and it's probably not going to change.'
So you try to love yourself and live your life. And be relaxed both in the life and in the kitchen.

Second thing is that I actually have hourglass figure and I gain weight everywhere in the same amount. I always have some kind of waistline and I'm blessed with firm butt. My neck isn't fat and I can always see my collar bones. My calves are muscular, but not fat. Let's say I'm an endomorph with lot of mesomorph elements which is good and bad in the same time. My Health was always pretty good, blood tests, cholesterol and sugar levels was perfect.

So, the weight gain still haven't seemed so tragical (except I couldn't wear most of my old pants). Until I stepped on the scale. That was a huge eye opener for me, and I have decided to take a personal trainer and fall under the 200 lbs as soon as I can.

At the same time, I went to the doctors, and they made some blood tests. I can say I'm still in healthy range, but there is some changes in my glucose levels and cholesterol which are slightly higher than usual. My doctor said that it's still pretty normal and that they are going to fall down when I lose some weight.
I also went to the gynecologyst to get some pills because my cycles become slightly messy, but she refused to give me those and that was because of my weight. You have to lose 20 lbs before I give them to you. she said.
In that point I felt really embarassed. I understood her concern and I appreciate it, but I was still embarassed.

I was ashamed of myself, and couldn't stop thinking what have I done to myself. I obviously step over my weight maximum and my body started to cry for help.

So, I got serious. I got great trainer, she made me a food plan and we started to exercise. She says that I have to lose the weight slowly, like 10 lbs every month or less. I decided to stick to her advice and do everything she says.
I have big motivation, I workout every day, I get up early, I NEVER made any mistake with the meal plan which is big thing for me (I usually loved to indulge myself too often). I'm thinking about my glucose and chol levels all the time. I don't want to be diabetic one day, or having problems with conceiving or pregnancy. I don't want to be fat mom who couldn't control myself and so on..

So, the decision was made, and I'm gonna stick to it.

Even now I see results, few pounds dropped off, I have lost some inches, small amount, but I think it's the way that it supposed to be...

Buuut ... my problem is extreme self-awareness and kinda depressive thoughts which obsesses me.
I can't be happy and enjoy this process, because I'm painfully avare how big I am, I'm aware that even after I lose 40 pounds - I'm still going to be big.
Problem is - I have to live somehow during all that process. I don't want to be closed in my room and avoid people. I want to go to the wedding and vacation and don't feel ugly and fat.

I was never that type of person, I was always happy and proud even with all those pounds (because I always thought they were matter of looks not the Health, I actually considered myself as 'fat and healthy'), but now it's different - I finally realised how unhealthy I was actually living, and for the first time I started to really hate myself and all of my habits which bring me here.
So now I have a feeling I couldn't ever be happy and relaxed until I shred all those weight and until my blood tests be perfect again.

For some people that kind of self awareness motivational, but for me it's hard. I actually have the urge to avoid some birthdays and other events, because I'm finally aware how big I am.

And I don't want that. I want to be positive and people person during this process as well, not only after it.

Is there anyone who's been through that, is there anyone who can understand me, even a bit?
Also, do you have any mechanisms which keeps you positive and optimistic during this weight loss process.

I found some plus size models and I'm trying to relate to them, I think this could be helpful during this period, because I'm still fat, but I should look nice when it's needed, even if I'm still not on my desirable weight."



I have to add that my starting weight actually was 246,5 lbs or 111,7kg (doctor had better scale, so I bought a new one for home after that), and the last time I stepped on the scale was 236,5 (like 107,5kg). I'm eating the classic fitness meals which should lead me to lose 5-10 lbs a month. I have 5 small meals, more carbs in the morning, and less carbs in the evening, I included healthy fats (nuts, olive oil), I'm avoiding dairy products, and sugar (except when I'm on exhausting training like few hours uphill hike) and trying to eat less gluten, and more low GI carbs. I have strenght training almost every day, riding my bike, hike, lightly climb and walk.
As I have said, my first goals are get cholesterol and blood glucose on perfect levels, regulate my menstrual cycle (I have PCOS), look good and fit, and hit less than 200 lbs in first phase.

I know I have lot to do, but I'm ready and prepared for this long journey :)

Thanks for reading :)
 
You're welcome. This was my reply yesterday-"Hi pussycat. I have only just read your 1st post & must apologise for not welcoming you to the forum earlier. You ask if anyone else has gone through what you are going through & understand it. Yes- me! I must tell you that I could have been reading about me. I had accepted my size for years & years & like you, I was outgoing & gregarious. When I realised how big I had become I went through mental anguish & shame. I weighed slightly more than you do now & am just a little bit taller. It is really important to be positive about yourself. You are still exactly the same person. Please don't hide, please wear nice clothes, please feel good about yourself as you are still that same person. I lost my excess weight, but it took time & some counselling before I was able to get my happy back. Instead of shame, I feel very proud of the changes I made& how healthy I am.
Please consider coming over to the diary section & starting one of your own. That's where most of us hang out. It's a very supportive, positive & friendly environment. We don't judge. You are very welcome. The link is http://weight-loss.fitness.com/forums/weight-loss-diary.9/
Cheers, Cate"
Great to see you joined us PussyCat. I weighed 111kg too when I first started. There are a few members in here with PCOS. You have extra challenges with PCOS but you do seem ready to face them & your plan sounds very sound. Once again, a great big welcome :grouphug:
 
Hi! I really liked reading your first post and I feel that I can relate a lot. I am 4'10 and currently 153 pounds. I started at 172 pounds at the beginning of April. I also have PCOS and have been told my the gynecologist that the best thing I can do for myself is lose weight. But it is traditionally very difficult for those of us with PCOS to lose weight so it can be quite the struggle. I must say that writing in my diary on here has been significantly helpful for me so I think it is great that you started one too. Also, Cate has been quite the motivator for me. She, along with several other members of this community, has been very supportive and just a great person to have in my corner!

It sounds like you are off to a great start with the food plan and the trainer. I think the best thing you can do is have a plan and it seems like you have one. What really struck me from your post was that you wrote that you can't enjoy the process because you are painfully aware at how big you are. I can certainly relate to that!!! Sometimes I just want to stay inside my house for the next year until I can lose all the weight and finally start to love my body. I actually am embarrassed at how good I became at ignoring how unhealthy I was, up until I decided to live a healthier life. My best advice is to be proud that you have made the decision to be healthier and take it one day at a time. While I see lots of progress in myself in just two short months, I still see the fat, the rolls, and every flaw that my body has. Sometimes I can't look past it! But then I remember that this is the ONLY way. There is no other choice. No magic pill or serum that can do what I am doing. Having that mindset has helped me a ton. One workout is not going to make me thin, but every time I make a good food choice or I chose to exercise, that is a step in the right direction.

I hope that what I have written makes sense and can be somewhat motivating to you! I look forward to reading about your progress along your journey!
 
Hello PussyCat! Welcome to the forum! :)

I can relate to your post as I too was on the chubby side all my life and I remember once saying to myself: 'if I ever get to size 14 I'm going on a diet' And then I did...and I thought 'oh well, the sizing in this shop is probably wrong' etc. etc. ...yep, big time denial. But then, I don't know why or how, one day in May 2012 it just hit me, it was like a breakthrough and I went to a Weight Watchers meeting and it all started then. But even at the first meeting I was pretty accepting of how I looked. But I didn't properly realise how overweight I was until I started losing weight! And that's when I started to feel more self-conscious about my body. And, although these days I'm 17kg lighter I'm working hard on being accepting of my body and not feeling like the fat girl on the inside and the fear that I'm somehow going to screw this up and gain all this weight back, because I'm NOT :D

It's hard not to get discouraged at times, but try to focus on your progress and not on how far you feel you still have to go.

Amazing stuff with the personal trainer and the food plan - you're going to succeed!

As Cate said, YOU are still YOU and once your health improves you'll feel better!!


PussyCat said:
Also, do you have any mechanisms which keeps you positive and optimistic during this weight loss process.
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I think for me it was tracking my fitness progress as I was exercising more (I was finally able to run!) and clothes getting looser :D And the fact that I could feel myself getting healthier.

All the best of luck to you!
 
Thank you all for warm welcome :)

cate said:
Great to see you joined us PussyCat. I weighed 111kg too when I first started. There are a few members in here with PCOS. You have extra challenges with PCOS but you do seem ready to face them & your plan sounds very sound. Once again, a great big welcome :grouphug:
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I have long experience with PCOS. Actually, I think it's not the weight loss the greatest problem with that condition. The weight maitenance is the bigger issue! I wrote some of my thoughts here (last post): http://weight-loss.fitness.com/threads/pcos-and-weight-loss.67045/

I'v been losing 10, 20, even the 45 pounds before. When I was diagnosed with it at 15 yo, I had 213 lbs. In less than one year I hit 170 pounds only with portion control, reducing gluten and taking aerobics class 3x a week. After that I have gained and losed 10-20-30-40 pounds all the time.
I learned that trans fatty acid are big no-no with PCOS, so I don't eat them for at least 10 years, and I'm usually eating less sugar than I want :)
But still, carbs of any kind are the big problem here, and I think they have to be controlled, even if they are in the 'healthy carb' group.

So yes, I think there is a bit more problems with PCOS weight loss, compared to people who don't have it. But as I wrote on that other topic - it's doable.
The most important thing is to listen to your body. I know I really need some amount of carbs because of my activity levels, I have tried to hike on low carb diet and it wasn't good. Low carb is ok when you sit all day, not when you are moving. BUT, too much of carbs can be harmful here and really slow down the weight loss.
 
Kakes2 said:
Hi! I really liked reading your first post and I feel that I can relate a lot. I am 4'10 and currently 153 pounds. I started at 172 pounds at the beginning of April. I also have PCOS and have been told my the gynecologist that the best thing I can do for myself is lose weight. But it is traditionally very difficult for those of us with PCOS to lose weight so it can be quite the struggle. I must say that writing in my diary on here has been significantly helpful for me so I think it is great that you started one too. Also, Cate has been quite the motivator for me. She, along with several other members of this community, has been very supportive and just a great person to have in my corner!

It sounds like you are off to a great start with the food plan and the trainer. I think the best thing you can do is have a plan and it seems like you have one. What really struck me from your post was that you wrote that you can't enjoy the process because you are painfully aware at how big you are. I can certainly relate to that!!! Sometimes I just want to stay inside my house for the next year until I can lose all the weight and finally start to love my body. I actually am embarrassed at how good I became at ignoring how unhealthy I was, up until I decided to live a healthier life. My best advice is to be proud that you have made the decision to be healthier and take it one day at a time. While I see lots of progress in myself in just two short months, I still see the fat, the rolls, and every flaw that my body has. Sometimes I can't look past it! But then I remember that this is the ONLY way. There is no other choice. No magic pill or serum that can do what I am doing. Having that mindset has helped me a ton. One workout is not going to make me thin, but every time I make a good food choice or I chose to exercise, that is a step in the right direction.

I hope that what I have written makes sense and can be somewhat motivating to you! I look forward to reading about your progress along your journey!
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Thank you Kakes, I'm glad that my post is helpful :)

Yes, weight loss reduces the PCOS problems like excess levels of male hormones and so on... It restores ovulation as well (if you don't have it, I sometimes have mine, but not every month)
As I wrote, it IS harder - but I believe we have to learn to think positive and learn to live in the healthy way.

Tv and pizza nights aren't for us, unless we had a hard training before that. That's simply a fact. Actually, they arent for anyone, but there are people who will not suffer big damage after few weeks of eating shitty foods. But we will, it's going to lead us to water retention and fast weight re-gain. And Problem is - most of the people are spending the evenings like that and if you stop enjoying those stuff, you may lose your social life. I am lucky that I found the friend who enjoys hikes, but I must admit I lost my contact with ones who like cigaretes, alcohol and greasy sandwiches at 2am.

When it comes to self-shame, yes - I can see you really understand me. And thanks for your great advice, I like that part about the healthy life choice :) It really makes sense and helps :)
 
Delsid said:
Hello PussyCat! Welcome to the forum! :)

I can relate to your post as I too was on the chubby side all my life and I remember once saying to myself: 'if I ever get to size 14 I'm going on a diet' And then I did...and I thought 'oh well, the sizing in this shop is probably wrong' etc. etc. ...yep, big time denial. But then, I don't know why or how, one day in May 2012 it just hit me, it was like a breakthrough and I went to a Weight Watchers meeting and it all started then. But even at the first meeting I was pretty accepting of how I looked. But I didn't properly realise how overweight I was until I started losing weight! And that's when I started to feel more self-conscious about my body. And, although these days I'm 17kg lighter I'm working hard on being accepting of my body and not feeling like the fat girl on the inside and the fear that I'm somehow going to screw this up and gain all this weight back, because I'm NOT :D

It's hard not to get discouraged at times, but try to focus on your progress and not on how far you feel you still have to go.

Amazing stuff with the personal trainer and the food plan - you're going to succeed!

As Cate said, YOU are still YOU and once your health improves you'll feel better!!




I think for me it was tracking my fitness progress as I was exercising more (I was finally able to run!) and clothes getting looser :D And the fact that I could feel myself getting healthier.

All the best of luck to you!
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Thanks :)

My last jeans shopping ended with european 46 size jeans. It isn't that bad, I thought to myself, because I remember I had size 46 when i was aroud 90kgs.
But after I saw the 111kg on the scale, wearing my 46 jeans (which,btw, started to feel more and more tight), I checked detailed size charts online. And I learned that I actually wear european 50!
The thing was - my jeans were in german size, where is 46 = spanish 48 = france 50 = italian 54! :eek:
It's 22 in UK and 18 in US!
I'm definetely XL, heading to XXL (because the US 20 is already 2X)
I concluded that I probably wore french or italian 46 before. (US 12-14, which finally makes sense)

So.... I totally understand that denial with sizes :)

These '46' jeans are pretty loosy now, after I lost some inches. I believe I will fit into german 44 in one month without any problem. :)

And, I congratulate you on your progress! 17 kg is really great, I hope that I will be on that place in less than 5 months :)

Hiring a trainer was the best thing I have done for myself. I learned a lot about portions and food combining while reading the menu that she wrote to me. I had some knowledge by myself before, but this time I needed extra hand to help me through all that, because my knowledge wasn't so helpful for weight maintaining. I really don't want to fatten myself anymore... I've had enough of that s**t in my life :)
 
After I had really great weekend on the coast (I went hiking on very demanding trail, I decorated my summer garden, I was swimming in the sea, and walk a lot), I got home, measured myself, and realised that I have lost one more centimeter from everywhere :)
Monday went great, but yesterday I was feeling weird and tired since morning. I catched myself wandering around kitchen more than I should. I had healthy meals, but I was snacking fruits, chicken breasts and veggies all the time feeling restless.
FInally, I went to the grocery, and bought one ice cream and candy bar. It was the first time I forgot about my program.

I ate those, and my restlesness went away. I was calm again. But not happy :(

I know that one ice cream and one candy bar won't do any harm if I continue to work hard, but I'm feeling a bit bad about myself. Is this my destiny?
Would I ever be able to get rid of those habits?
Am I really predisposed to stay fat?
Why, o why I HAD to buy those things and not satisfy myself with some fresh fruits (I tried those before buying ice cream, It wasn't enough)?

I was so happy because all worked perfectly well this month, If I had only one thought about the bad food on less active days I was thinking about my blood tests and health, and those thoughts would disappeared immediately. It didn't work this time.

Have you ever slipped like I did last night? How did you feel?
 
My menu usually looks like this :

B - 30g of oat flakes with rice milk, handful of cranberries, and a bit of non sweet cocoa powder and half scoop protein powder.

L - fresh veggie salad with olive oil, 50g of integral pasta, ground turkey with tomatoes (cooked)

D - white fish in foil (non fat), salad with olive oil

In between meals, I have fruits in the morning, and nuts and cottage cheese in the afternoon.

I'm avoiding salt and pre-packaged food, everything is fresh.
 
I slip up time and time again, for various readons, and I usually feel weak and pathetic afterwards. I think you were cravy because your body was more tired than you thought. Knowing what causes cravings can be really helpful, as is listening to the "reasons" your inner saboteur comes up with for eating things you don't really need and consciously talking back at it. You can do this.
 
Thanks, La Maria, my therapist said something similar to that.

Last two weeks were hard, I'm struggling with anxiety, headaches, and panic attacks.
I was also talking with my therapist about that, she thinks that anxiety isn't very suprising, because I stopped using food as comfort.

I'm doing my best, taking vitamins D, C, magnesium, omega 3, I even have light anti-stress medication for problematic situations, but sometimes I really can't handle this situation.
I can't even go through the day easily, I'm afraid of everything, and looks like there is no safe place for me right. Anxiety attacked me everywhere - with my friends, with my husband, in the downtown, at home... I only feel ok when I'm moderately exercising, or doing moderate cardio on well known locations. I experienced a panic attack even on hiking, the pace was high, temperature was high, my legst started to shake and I couldn't normal walk and breathe. On the other hike, I felt a light pain in the chest, and I have started panicking as well.
I don't know what's happening, I was regulary hiking for last 2 years, sometimes on very demanding trails and everything was always fine.

Getting back on my old patterns is not an option, I'm still following the program. But I must admit my life now is weird, empty and somewhat terrifying.

I wasn't expect that this is going to be this hard.
Following the regimen and exercising is the easiest part, my mind is the thing that makes this a hell of a struggle.
 
I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time :( On the other hand: it's great that your brain recognizes moderate exercise as "safe". Given time you can hopefully slowly extend your comfort zone to once again include more strenuous activities and challenging hikes. I don't know about you but crappy food numbs me, so when I start to eat better I'm suddenly more aware of both my surroundings and my own body. Both can be scary when you're used to a more dulled down version of the world!
 
Thank you dear La Maria. You are mostly right. Dullness is pretty good description.

I must admit that I didn't eat much of crappy foods like the things from the cans and bags, but I was using food as a shelter and comfort every time I could. I was calming myself down with home made pasta or lasagna, I was celebrating my successes with home made chocholate, I was adding more oil and cheese in my salads, because I wanted them to fullfill me inside. The strongest emotional relationship I had was the one with the food, because, I could never talk with my overly anxious and unsupporting father, and a bit distant mother, she was great in her role, she was cleaning, cooking, taking care of us, but I never had very close relationship with her. I always felt like I wasn't good enough for her, she was an elegant lady, who made her effort to always be well dressed and polite to everybody.
On the other hand, I was a little rebel, I never cared much about the fashion and I always wanted to do things on my own, and not to please others.

The lunches and dinners was the only constant things in my family, beside my nervous father, and absent mother. Lunch was always warm and waiting for me. Lunch never asked any invasive questions, and always understood me and accepting me.

Now I don't have that any more. Food is the fuel for my machine, and that's it. And this is very different from all my diets I was trying till now.
I realised that I have two roads - one is comforting and food-rich, but potentially dangerous for my health, and other is very unpleasant and it forces me to face all my fears, but it could lead me to healthier body and hopefully better life.

I finally realised how scared, unsecure and emotional I actually am. I was always robust, angry, and kinda a bit 'like some guy', but now I found the some softness and 'woman' in me, and it's really weird and I'm still trying to learn how to live with that..

I'm much more sensitive, I cry more often, I'm afraid of everything, I'm even walking slower and softer.

Two months ago there was some psychological breaktrough in my therapy life after 4 yrs of attending. I believe the things that are happening are result of that. Maybe my decision to finally lose weight is the result of that as well.

I just hope I'll start to feel normal very soon.

To sum all up - I think that my main fear is actually fear of unknown. That's why I'm not afraid of the cardio which I know I could make it. But as soon as I step on the unknown mountain, or lift up my workout pace, I start to stress out.
The same thing is with life. I'm just a bit afraid of the new things, and that's weird, because I was never afraid of those before. Maybe I was killing my fears with foods before.
 
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Maybe you were. But right now you're chosing to do what's good for you long-term, even though it's really scary. That's a very brave thing to do and I hope you're bloody proud of yourself!
 
I think you should be very proud of yourself too PussyCat. Facing your fears & working your way through them is very brave. Not many of us in here would not have turned to food in times of stress. Eating healthy & doing exercise that you're comfortable with should help you in the long term. Sending you lots of love, honey. You are not alone in this, xoxo
 
Thank u guys, I really appreciate your support. I'm very sorry that I still don't have much of the time to browse your journals, I'm occupied with my training, learning about supplements, vitamins, exercise and stuff. There is my job as well, and some house work like painting my weekend house and so on.. :) Hope I'll have more time for discuss with you very soon :)

My anxiety went under the control a bit, actually turned out that stress affected my neck mucles which leaded me to vertigos and headaches.
Also, I learned that I'm training too hard!

I was monitoring my pulse during some hiking activities and it was very high constantly. My trainer was a bit suprised when I told her that i was doing my 1,30 h 'cardio' with almost 170 bpm. She said that it's a miracle that I didn't fainted, because i was hitting 90% of my maximum heart rate. And I actually wasn't tired at all!
When I think about that, the vertigos I had on hike I was writing about in my last post probably happened because I hit 180 bpm, which was REaLLY too high for me. Actually, most people would feel dizzy only after 10 minutes of training like that, and it was the miracle that I managed to walk for more than an hour in that pace, at least that's what my trainer said.
But, she was quite happy when I told that 1 minute after that training, my pulse decreased for cca 35 beats, so went from 170 to 135, which was very good.
Also, my resting heart rate is usually between 60-65 which is good as well.

But, turned out I have to modify my trainings completely.
I have learned that going hard like that isn¨'t good, because it puts my body in stress, my heart is suffering (although is very healthy), and makes my weight loss actually slower!
Turned out that mu body is very capable of handling harder training, but I don't have the 'alarm' which should tell me to stop on time. My body just goes, goes and goes as much as it can, although my heart rate is too big and my heart and lungs are crying for help.

I got scared a bit after I realise that that because I don't want my heart to suffer that much.
So the trainer recommended to workout in lower pace, but to increase the training time. I should workout on 150 bpm tops.
The problem is, I'm not actually tired after those trainings, everything between 110 and 150 bpm seem like a joke for me. But, trainer said that sometimes training has not to be hard, and that I will achieve better reuslts if I'm not suffering during the workout. I have to enjoy and feel relaxed afterwards and it should be more helpful to burn the fat because of the lower post-workout stress.

I must admit I have mixed feelings. I'm mad at myself, because I have to say bye bye to my hiking mates, and I have to re-schedule the mountaneeirnig school which I have planned to sign up. I would probably finish it succesfuly, but I don't want to stress my body too much because It's obviously still too heavy and I simple can't train with much lighter and faster people.
I'm a bit sad and mad at myself, I almost cried today wondering why should be like that for me? I'm mostly healthy, I have that strong will, I have the power to endure and go forward, but on the top of that there is that excess weight which doesn't let me to enjoy my life fully!!!
And it makes me very very mad!!!

The worst thing is, I temporary experience weight loss plateau, which is very frustrating, I'm 12 lbs down and now I stall there.

So, my plan is to lower my training intensity, add 1hr of moderate swimming during the summer, cut the carbs a bit more, and start vith vitamin D supplement.

BUT!
There is one small thing which made my week, after I lost that 12 lbs, I was buying an evening dress, and I finally realised I can fit into dresses in my favorite H&M store again! So I bought one, and that really made me feel great, so I took some time and made some effort to work on my make up and hair. Husband and I went to family wedding, and during the whole evening I got compliments how pretty I look (and believe me, those people in husband's family usually aren't very generous when it comes to compliments). I even didn't feel embarassed when we had to go out in front of everybody and make some kind of toast. I wasn't bothered by people looking at me because I know I was pretty with great hear and makeup, and very well dressed. It was a really great feeling which I didn't had for a very long time :) :)
 
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That´s so awesome! Finding ways to feel pretty again is such a great thing. Other than that: it sucks that your body react strangely to higher intensity workouts but it´s very good to have found out where the dizziness and anxiety were coming from. And maybe once you´re a bit fitter you´ll be able to do higher intensity training again, too.
 
That is awesome PC. :iagree: with everything LaMa said. It is best to get healthy & fit in a safe way & you will.
 
Thank you all for reading and support.
I'm still in the plateau and it's frustrating as hell.
I have also slipped yesterday and ended up binging in grilled sandwiches. :(
I can't even look at the food today. I'm too full.
I think I'm tired and exhausted, I couldn't get enough sleep last week so from the day I have arrived into my weekend house I have slept for like 10hrs each night. It's on the coast and the air is fresh. I have spent saturday painting my room and moving the futniture, and ended up with the 30mins walk in the evening. Other days I have tried to swim and walk for at least 45mins. I'm planning to hike again on thursday when I'm back home.

I have made big mistake - I fogot to plan abd prepare meals for this vacation so I ended up with grilled sandwiches.

It's great lesson for the future - never end up unprepared and never let the cravings leads you on your way.

I'm feeling bit bloated right now. My plan is to eat eggs and veggies and have longer cardios these days.

Also I have ordered highly potent vitamin D and I'm very excited to start with those because I found out that my levels are too low.
 
Don't let one overeating session get you down. Get back on track now and all will be well in a day or two. Especially with how active you seem to be. I'll admit I'm a bit jealous: I miss the sea.
 
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