Family...

Pinky2

Pinky2

New member
So i've just had another argument with a certain member of my family who insists on constantly reminding me and nagging me to loose weight, accusing me of not trying hard enough and that I'm wasting my 'good looks' by looking 'about 7 months pregnant!'

Now I know that its only being said because they wanna help but all it does is upsett me and make me more depressed and self consious about the way I look and my weight.

I know FULL WELL that I would look so much better if I was a few stone lighter, and that I would be happier if I was... I dunno... Maybe I'm not really trying hard enough. I seem to try and then get discouraged and give up... It's like one massive cycle and I've had it for years.

It doesn't help that the said member of family managed to loose a load of weight a few years ago and has not only managed to keep it off but is looking fabulous with it! Another member has managed to do the same, which means I'm pretty much the only 'overweight' one around here...

But my point is I don't need to be reminded that I'm overweight... It's not like I don't frigging know it... I look in the mirror every darn day and see it don't I!?!?! I'm reminded every frigging time I weigh myself and see that the figure hasn't gone down... or even worse it's gone up!!! Like I REALLY need to be REMINDED about what DEPRESSES ME every SINGLE DAY!!!

Im sorry to rant on here... But it really annoys me... and I know that its only being done because they are worried about me, and love me and all that but it doesnt help. I find I clamp up and just feel like giving up even more. But if I try and explain it, I just get back your not trying hard enough bla bla blah!

I just dont know what to believe or do anymore. :(
 
Hey Pinky,

Sometimes family does suck, dont they?? Dont let the negativity get you down. A lot of times people try to make you miserable to hide their own insecurities.

Focus on the positive. Explain to them that you are trying. You have lost 9 lbs!!! Explain to them what you have done to lose that weight. Explain the healthier eating, which is evident from a 9 lb loss. Explain the exercise you are doing, which is evident from a 9 lb loss.

Finally if they still dont get it, tell them that you are handling the situation and you dont need their help or encouragement (or lack of). Now once this is done, realize that you need to stay focused and motivated. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

Matt
 
I dont think they are actively trying to make me miserable... My step mother does enough of that!

Thing is yes I've cut down on the amount Im eating a little and I've started to do a bit more exercise but its not really enough for a drastic change. Ive been a bit naughty over the past couple of days which doesn't help and ended up putting on a couple of pounds, but I'm like its only a couple of pounds... if im good for the rest of the week I can loose that fine!

I think the main problem is a difference in opinon on whats the best way to loose weight. I believe that I should allow myself to have a few small treats a week, otherwise I just get so bored of depriving myself that I end up gorging... And I want it to be more of a lifestyle change... not a darn diet!

They think I should be cutting everything 'nice' out... so be living enough to be healthy but so that I'm loseing loads a week. And I should be exercising every day... which is fair enough. I know that I don't do enough exercise... I just got to fight with my will power to sort that one out.

What really gets me down is my step brothers are 'average' build and have loads of skinny friends... anyways he's having a load over to stay in a couple of weeks time and they are all skinny and beautiful.. Anyway the argument was that I should be more like them.. and that they take the p*ss out of me because im a fat dumpling. I was like so frigging what?? It's just agrh!

*deep breath*
 
In a situation like this, prove your family wrong...something like this would encourage me to lose weight...my mom used to pull the same crap, and i lost over 40 pounds, and am now considered a healthy BMI...make their nagging into something that gets you going on your journey to weight loss
 
You aren't doing it for them. You are doing it for you. I know its hard to do but very easy to say but try and just ignore them. Just keep repeating "I'm doing it at my own pace." Be consistant with that answer and hopefully they will quit pestering you.

Also mention how its not really giving you encouragement. If anything, its hindering you.
 
Sorry guys... I was pretty peeved when I wrote those posts!

I can see where your arguments are coming from and I just hope they work.

I took your advice and told them that I was trying at my own pace and that they should leave me to it. Told them that if i hadn't lost any more weight by the end of December then I will follow 'their way of thinking.' So we will wait and see I guess. :S
 
To be healthy with losing weight you should not be losing loads each week. 2 pounds (.9 kg roughly) is a good average for a healthy weight loss. Your family needs to be aware of that. To expect drastic drops in weight every week is ridiculous, not to mention dangerous for your health.

And you are right, you need to approach this as a lifestyle change, not a diet. Diet indicates you may just very well go back to your old eating habits once you lose the weight. Don't deny yourself the treats... just be reasonable about it.

Believe in yourself. Do this for you.
 
I cant really give you any advice on how to deal with your family members but as for losing weight make sure that you are on a diet or fitness routine that works, some of them are doomed to fail no matter how long you stick to them. And there's nothing more discouraging than failing on a diet that was never going to work anyway, cause then its not even your fault and you don't even know.
 
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