Emmy! It's time to lead by example!

N

NightNurseEmmy

New member
Ok, so I've been putting off starting a diary on here because, well.... I simply don't know what to say. I guess it will come naturally at some point?
I'm a nurse and I am very proud to say so, however, let's be honest...nobody really likes a fat nurse....people get the impression that you are lazy, sloppy gross.....the list goes on and on.

So I've been battling my weight since I was a teenager...I'm currently 329 lbs and pretty disgusted with myself. What has provoked me to start losing weight lately though is facebook....

So, I see alot of funny stuff on FB, and then like the pages...then I see all of these fat jokes....then the comments people make about fat people, and it is so depressing, cruel and unbelievably heartbreaking to see how people really think and talk about people who are obese.

I'm tired...tired of people assuming I'm lazy, sloppy, gross, ignorant, etc. Tired of battling my weight, and even when I do well with losing weight, I sometimes want to give up because I have so much to lose it feels like I will never get there.

I guess maybe the reason I have put off this diary is because, well, it is a diary. It's personal, and you open up to people. I'm not so great with that.

I am happily married to the most wonderful man on the earth (I know you may think yours is the best, but I think mine is! lol)

BUT, sometimes I wonder, if anything ever happened between he and I, would I even be able to find anyone else? No one is interested in a 24 year old, 329 lb woman....it's tough to face, but it is pretty much true.

I have three sisters and two brothers, all of who are much smaller than I....that always puts a damper on family get togethers....I never want to go because I feel like the elephant in the room....literally....

It's even gotten so bad to where I don't want to go into public because of my weight. I feel like everyone is judging me and thinking "how disgusting" and they don't even know the real me....

needless to say, my weight is getting the best of me physically and emotionally....

I don't really talk about this to many people, most of my friends/family are either skinny (or close to it) or my weight and higher, but will point blank tell you they love food and they aren't going to change it. So I'm constantly hearing "I worry about you and your health" or "**** that, that's crazy, I would rather eat what I want and be happy"

So, I guess it's time to take some initiative and just do it! I need to be a leader, not a follower, and I need to stop having the 'pity party' of "I'm too fat to do anything about it now" :rant:

That's all for now....and surprisingly, I feel much better....
 
Welcome to the board.
Having a diary to fill with one's thoughts is a very good place to unload and also a place that helps you to stay committed.
What is your plan so far?
 
Right now I am doing Atkins/Keto style diet, but I'm not really doing the meal replacemant bars/shakes. Been eating plenty of low carb veggies and healthy meats. I'm trying to only eat red meat once a week. I am starting to crave salads now! I keep telling myself to get to the gym, but after working third shift on top of cutting carbs, I'm exhausted in the morning. Thanks for the welcome =)
 
Welcome to the forum and I'm glad you started a diary. I'm a LOT like you in that I have a very hard time opening up to people. It's easier online where nobody knows me, but in person forget it. I have some trust issues and find it hard to even discuss things with my own mom. It makes things difficult that's for sure. Your husband sounds like he is a great guy so use him as much as you can as a sounding board when need be. I'm sure he'll support you in your journey. :)

As for losing weight, I'm not going to lie and say it's a cake walk, BUT as MrVee said just keep it at. When you do good and then have a not so great day, don't let it discourage you and ruin the progress you've made. We ALL have bad days. There's really no way to avoid it. The key is to just keep on going. Keep pushing!

Another piece of advice I'd like to offer is to look more at the here and now and not the big picture. Don't get so focused on the amount of weight you want to lose that you lose sight of what you've already accomplished. It is overwhelming, I know, but it took a very long time for us to get into our situations so we can't expect change overnight. Just take it one day at a time and try to get better with each day. Once you get into a rhythm you'll see it's not as hard or as bad as you're thinking now.

Best wishes and keep posting! :)
 
Thanks everyone for stopping by and posting! Today has been a hard day, the air in my house went out, so it's super hot in here, lots of financial confusion, someone used our address and they thought we were behind on bills....just off off the wall stuff, applying for school and benefits, working full time with all the medical issues going on with the hubby, and to top it off I am PMSing like crazy, I'm swollen and i know i am retaining water weight. My poor hubby was like "are you ok?" to which i responded "Hell no I'm not okay...(continue rant) and I want some d**n cookout!" Then I got on the phone to settle all the bill mistakes, and he brought me some cucumbers and ranch dressing and then wrapped up an ice back and placed it on my lower back while i was on the phone to help cool me off <3

It was like instant relief of PMS haha

He. is. awesome!

Feeling much better because of that simple gesture =)
 
Hi Emmy!

Glad to see you started a diary, there's lots of really nice ppl here who will read your dairy, know what you go through, have advice for you or a just a cheer or a joke when you need one most.

Congrats on taking the first step!
 
Aww, what a great hubby you got there!

These diaries are a great resource, I'm glad you decided to create one, even if you didn't know what you would say. A lot of times this is the best place to interact with others who are going through the same types of situations as you. And you may be seeking motivation and encouragement without realizing that you've become motivation and encouragement for others! Welcome aboard :)
 
Thnks everyone! So, I had a cheat day and then two...or three....:reddevil: time to get back on track. I'm off tonight...thinking of hitting the gym...starting over on atkins/keto is so hard...blah. GOT TO DO THIS!!!
 
Your hubby sounds sweet. :]

I think it's good that you rebounded so quickly though. It's also important not to beat yourself up over your mistakes. It'll be a lifelong process, you know?
 
Hi Emmy, said I'd drop by. I guess the thing to keep in mind is that the journey may be long, but at 24, you're in a great position to undertake that challenge. So keep that in mind - your body will really bounce back if you let it.
 
Good luck with your weight loss journey. You have all my respect for taking the effort to make a change.
 
No worries on the cheat days. They will happen. Just get back on track and have more better days and you'll be fine. :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top