Diary of an 18 year old Gordita!

DanielleMarie

New member
Yeah that's what my boyfriend likes to call me, but we'll get there!

I was born in upstate New York, and lived there till I was about 8. I was a healthy, active little girl. We moved to Southwest Florida to be closer to my mom's family and on the way I discovered a whole new world, the world of FAST FOOD. Driving for three days and having NOTHING but fast food really got me addicted. I started to get a little heavier, and in second grade a classmate told me I should go on a diet. That's when it all started, I gradually started gaining and gaining and the classmates torture got worse and worse. I started weight watchers in 6th grade, at 168 pounds and lost 10 pounds quick, I don't remember what happened but I stopped going to meetings and quickly got discouraged. The next thing I recall I was starting highschool around 215 pounds, and gained through the next four years, always down and depressed about how I looked. And as I sit here on my first day of college, I regretfully say that I am at 260 pounds at 5'6".

I'm not sure how it got this far, but at the same time I am. I used food as a comfort for every horrible day and problem and fight through all my highschool drama. I was a boredom eater. It brought me up and up and up, up to 252. and through major calorie cuts and exercising I got down to 230. Along came a boy named Jonni who made me the happiest girl in the world. He came into my life and I've always heard you gained weight in relationships, but I thought it was stupid it didn't make sense to me. It makes sense to me now. Over the course of 7 months I put 15 pounds back on. I then went onto birth control and as a result of that I gained 15 more pounds FAST. I read my booklet and looked online, and I feel it's a result of the birth control.

All summer I have been trying to work out and cut back calories but with no success, and now I have finally found the motivation!

I call myself a gordita because it's a nickname my boyfriend gave me, it means little fatty! NOW BEFORE YOU GO THINKING HE'S A JERK- let me explain. He was born in NY but raised in El Salvador, he's only been over back in america since he was 17 ( he's 21 now) I used to let him in on my insecurities and how I felt about being overweight, and he thought I was rediculous. To latin people if you're chubby, you aren't looked down upon or demeaned the way you are here. Overweight people are treated the same as someone at a healthy weight. So "Little Fatty" is just.. a name because FOR NOW , that's what I am!
 
Some good stuff....some not so good stuff

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow are putting me into yo-yo mode!!!

Yesterday I did AWESOME! I was wicked proud of myself! I was lacking will power and yesterday I exerted it.
My neice was over and she got chilis togo and she had chicken fingers and french fries, normally I would salivate over it and end up eating all her left overs which could be like half the meal, but instead I sat down at the computer and came on here to look at everybody's before and after pics. I was shocked that I actually didn't even eat ONE FRY.

I also had a family gathering for my uncle's bday, and god only knows why there were TWO CAKES and a pie. Not to mention tons of chips just hanging around, but I took charge again and stuck to the fruit bowl instead of the chip bowl and while everybody dug into their chocolate cream pie and their double chocolate cake, my sister and I sat on the sidelines eating apples with caramel dip. My sister is also working on a lifestyle change, I referred her to this board. and I was just REALLY proud of myself. The old Danielle would have complained that her slice of cake was too small!

Today was my first day of college, and I started out okay with breakfast but then four hours without and food or drink really got to me and I got gatorade and two reeses cups...woops :doh: and then I came home and I was feeling pretty bummed with some news I heard from my old boss and I ended up getting pizza hut...woops again! I got a personal pan pizza and had three breadsticks, I felt like crap for hours and didn't eat anything else. I've been drinking tons of water and I went to the gym for a while and worked harder than usual, and so far all I've had is a little box of raisins, I'm really hungry but trying to suppress it with my diet green tea, I really would like not to eat any more today!

Tomorrow is mine and my boyfriend's anniversary, how am I supposed to go out to dinner and not want to get something good on our special day!?
I plan to stick to my diet the rest of the day and work out, I'm just throwing in a bump in the road.

I'm hoping Thursday can be a better day for me, that I can get 100% percent back on track...wish me luck! :)
 
Welcome to the wonderful world of college - i hope you enjoy the experience :)

In your backpack, you might want to carry some snacks with you that you can eat andnot worry - maybe little baggiesof almonds or dried fruit or kashi granola bars -somethig that won't break the calorie bank but also satisfy you -and do carry a bottle of water with you - gatorade is really just empty calories...

Welcome to your diary and enjoy your stay
 
I actually did have a bottle of water in the beginning but I just drink so much during the day usually that it was gone by the end of my first class :(
but yeah I think that's a good idea and that's what I'm going to do, carry some one hundred cal packs and some fruit, and hope it helps me out!

Thank you for the warm welcome :)
 
i'm sure there are water fountains around that you can refill your bottle -if the water fountain water is undrinkable, carry packets of crystal light of other drink mixes that are low calorie but can be mixed intoa bottle of water
 
Daniellemarie, Welcome to WLF. AS you can see from Mal's signature, she is more than qualified to help you on this journey. You've got to go where the good food is girl. Take your own food with you and refuse to eat that ****.
Keep posting.
 
Welcome to WLF! First off, that is such a cute nickname. Also, take a little charge in where you go for your anniversary and go someplace you know has healthy options. I'm sure your boyfriend will support this 100%.
 
I tried real hard!

Thank you thank you THANK YOU for the welcomes!!!:)

I tried my best, I really did. We went to Carrabbbas(sp?) and I only had ONE slice of bread, TORTURE! Unsweet tea, and plain old spaghetti in marinara, I wasn't too upset thought it was great!

He tried to force dessert on me and ... I caved a bit! I had a few bites of the chocolate cake :( but I made him eat the rest, FAST.

and I didn't workout.. I KNOW IM HORIBBLE! but this is the only day I'm taking off this week! So I'll still get six days in. I think I'm going to step up my routine, all it is is cardio, I need to get some strength training in so that when I'm thin I'm nice and toned! I'd like to start working on my stomach more, it's my biggest priority!

Hopefully I can report back tomorrow with an AWESOME day, on track 100%!
 
God must have had mercy on me for cheating on an important day!
I'm actually down .6 a pound since yesterday, awesome!
I'm doing really well today, I made it through school without visiting the vending machines woo!
I might be getting a job at the YMCA as an afterschool counselour for kids, I already have a membership to take me through April but still I think it would be great to just change and workout after my shift.
This has been a good day for me! Hope everybody else is doing great!
 
Hey you little Gordita!!

I must admit, when I first read what that meant, I couldn't believe Jonni would call you that and I got mad at him, but- now it's kind of cute since he means it in a loving way.


You can totally do this Danielle!! We'll do this together!! I'm so proud of you for the wise choices you have made so far, and I KNOW how hard it was to sit there and eat apples while everyone else indulged in cake.
We have a vacation coming up in a bit- let's make the most of this time so hopefully we'll have to go shopping for some smaller clothes when that time comes.

I love you, and am very proud of the changes you are making. We're in this together.:hug2:
 
Haha thanks Alicia.
I'm stuck in a rut, I keep having horrible cravings and I'm caving into them :(
I'm trying really hard to build up my motivation and keep it, I really don't understand why I lose it, I mean I want to be thin SO badly.
It's just hard when you have a LOVE for bad food. It's a curse.
 
I find that if I REALLY wanna eat something, I will wait 20 minutes and then ask myself "do i REALLY want to eat this?".

Give yourself time to think about it.

Well done on your loss so far :)
 
Howdy,
Wanted to drop by and wish ya luck and support!
Also if you would like to join the HALLOWEEN CHALLANGE there is
still time to sighn up.It is a team challange with bonuses and the winning
team is based on ponts and percent of weight thats lost so it's fair.
I t will be fun.Tammy
 
Howdy,
Wanted to drop by and wish ya luck and support!
Also if you would like to join the HALLOWEEN CHALLANGE there is
still time to sighn up.It is a team challange with bonuses and the winning
team is based on ponts and percent of weight thats lost so it's fair.
I t will be fun.Tammy


Yeah absolutely!
I was pretty sure I signed up on the page? But maybe not, definitly include me! :)
 
I'm thinking about starting the slim fast diet tomorrow, any thoughts or comments??? I've never really talked to anybody who has done it, so any and all input is appreciated!
 
Hi!

Ive never done slim fast, but I suppose it has worked for some people, they might have testimonials on their site?

Personally, I would never try one of those liquid diets (or any fad diet at all), I believe the only way to have permanent fat loss is healthy balanced eating and lots of hard work (exercise!).

My mum did slimfast, and the shakes tasted like poo. But they prob taste better now cause it was a few years ago.
 
Howdy,
Lol here is my 2 cents it is definatley NOT for everyone.
I tried it and failed and even pigged out afterwards because I missed
the eating a hot meal BUT I will say it's good to maybe have one replace a meal since I am not a breakfast person I would down 1 for breakfast but maybe try it you may like it?I hope you enjoy your weekend,Tammy
 
Thanks so much for the advice!
I'm going to give it a go starting today, I bought the smallest pack though incase it doesn't work out.
and believe it or not Loveeat- I like the shakes! haha I know everyone always says they are so disgusting but I really do enjoy them. Weird, huh?
I'll keep you all updated on how it works out!
 
Howdy I hope your day is going well and the slimfast isn't getting
to boring.I actually liked the taste of the strawberry 1.
Keep us udpdated and have a gr8 weekend Tammy
 
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