Diary of a Brunette

B

brunette

New member
Hey everyone..I'll give some history, to help understand how i got here.

I have Asthma, since I was born. Ear infections, sinus infections, Asthma attacks constantly. Before the age of 5, I had more Prednizone that an adult in their lifetime..For pictures, the weight started about 4 years old..As the weight continued to creep on and being sick all the time, I didn't burn off the calories either..Got lazy as the years past on..I don't get sick as often, but I still have Asthma..Yes, I have exercised into an Asthma attack..Not a good feeling..I never learned how to eat properly..My mom rarely cooked, it always the healthiest, ate out often..Being an emotional eater too doesn't help the situation..

I twisted my right knee 11 years ago, developed tendonitis, the dr said it will not completely heal until I lose the weight..Occasionally it flares its ugly head.

But now, I'm pushing 30..Now my back hurts alot, unconfortable to sleep at night..My car is a standard transmition, if I get any bigger I won't be able to drive it cause my stomach is already rubbing the stearing wheel..And I can't push the seat back cause Im short..

I've been on all sorts of diets - La Weight lose, Weight Watchers (3 times), Jenny Craig, NutriSystem, South Beach, Atkins..

I eat healthy for the most part, I just get out of control with portions..I went as far as buying dark chocolate - which I don't care for as much as milk chocolate, so I won't eat as much of it..(Or atleast thats what Im telling myself..)..

I think whats scaring me the most is that..I have high blood pressure- had it for years, dr never done anything for it..It must come and go..My father has it, my late grandmother on my moms side had it..My grandmother also had diebetes..Im afraid, I will be next..
 
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Not only that, Im currently stressed! My company recenbtly put me on unemployment, I have yet to receive a check. My boyfriend and I can not live off of his every 2 weeks-lessthan 300$ pay check
 
Goals and such would be nice, won't they? lol

Weekly goals:
Lose 1 pound per week
Drink plenty of water
Exercise 5 times per week


Ultimate goals:
Lose 182 pounds
Be fit, healthy
Do a triathlon



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Today, Sunday November 23, 2008

730am 1 Cinnamon Raisan Bagel, spray butter

1130am 6' Grilled Chicken sub, let, tom, mayo

300pm 4 chips ahot cookes


to be continued....................
 
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I think I ate 5 lbs of sugar today alone. My eyes are so tired, they hurt. Im super stressed out. So I haven't been sleeping well at night, or getting home so late.

Ive been put on unemployment from my company, but voleenter 2 days a week to give my boss 2 days off. At the moment my boyfriend and I are living off of 1 income, so 250$ every 2 weeks. THat doesn't pay the rent, I could pay electric and cable, though. But that doesnt leave much for lunch at work, groceries, gas, 1 car payment/insurance for 2 cars.

How does 1 cope with that?
 
Hi brunette :seeya:

It's good to hear how you are focused on making healthier choices, and though you may not feel capable 100% of the time, even 50% (or less) will make a difference. It sounds as though you are going through a hard time financially, and this could be affecting your emotional balance throughout the day. I do pray things will pick up over time. I'm glad you've decided to thrash it all out in a diary though, it will help you see things more clearly.

Also, I would say never think of the whole (HOW much weight you have to lose in all) that's like Michaelangelo wondering about how painting the Sistine Chapel's ceiling would take him 12 years to complete! I bet he concentrated on one brush stroke at time. I like to think that I concentrate on my eating habits one bite at a time! Who cares about Xmas and next year, all I know is that I'm going to look fab!

Keep at it hun and keep visualising yourself as you'd really like to be and realise that its not impossible, it just takes (one bite at a time). :hug2:
 
brunette said:
Goals and such would be nice, won't they? lol

Weekly goals:
Lose 1 pound per week
Drink plenty of water
Exercise 5 times per week
Click to expand...

I see one of your goals is exercise 5 times per week, what exercise are you doing now and are you able to manage your asthma during exercise, I am also an asthmatic my whole life.

start slow with the exercise if you have not been doing much with your high blood preasure.
 
so many times i have wished the weight would drop off and all would be perfect. But it doesn't work that way. What pisses my boyfriend off is that Im working 2 days a week, not getting paid, Im a voleenter as the company looks at it. i spoke with the accountant with the company today, she said this week could be my waiting week. but im to call them to be sure. she already received paperwork on the unemployment. im tempted to start looking for another job, i work at a golf course in pa. so this time of year is our off season time. i spoke with about 20 ppl today, including my boss and owner of the company.. i wanted to ask him for a cash advance, but i didn't have the guts to. lol
 
Trusylver said:
I see one of your goals is exercise 5 times per week, what exercise are you doing now and are you able to manage your asthma during exercise, I am also an asthmatic my whole life.

start slow with the exercise if you have not been doing much with your high blood preasure.
Click to expand...


running for a period of time flares it up, very very intense workouts.

the drs never gave me anything for the high blood pressure. they always just mention it to me..i got smart and started asking them what can i do for it..they always told me to lose weight..so i got smart again and asked them about weight loss..they said fruits, veggies, excerise..
 
ok, its been a few days..time to check in..

got through thanksgiving ok, took some leftovers home..i weighed myself at the gym on wednesday. it was at 312. my highest EVER..

well, like i said, i went to the gym on wednesday..did a 5 minute stretch, full body strength training workout, 5 minute stretch..nothing on thanksgiving day, i was so sore from wednesday..i also did the same on friday. i used to never stretch and i would be sooo sore..but i did those days, had minuimal soreness..i will do continue strength training on monday..im taking saturday and sunday to do cardio and rest up for monday..


one of my cars broke down on me today, i was 30 minutes from my destination..it was actually going into the shop to be worked on..well, didn't didn't quit make it..so now its sitting at my job, until sunday or monday..it kept over heating..im not sad or angery, i still have another car..lol..i have 2 cars, 1 2000 chevy blazer (it was going to the shop), 1 2007 toyota corolla s. im currently at my parents as i type this. 45 minutes away from my apartment. im taking my moms car so i can get home and not make 1 of them take me..i need to pick up the boyfriend from work..atleast he'll have a warm car to get into.

im (barely) pateintly waiting for my unemployment debit card to arrive in the mail..then i think i'll be ok, financailly..nobody can live off 1 income thats minuim wage..let alone 2 of us with bills to pay..
 
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