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I have binge eating disorder, I basically eat my emotions and my weight has gone up and down throughout my life I am 28 now. With my lowest weight at 7.5 stone and my heighest at 11.5 - 12 stone. currently I am at about 11.5 stone however I need a new battery for my scales so I am not entirely sure.
I had some stuff I went through in october - Novemeber time which I couldnt deal with emotionally. Hence the crazy binging began packets of biscuits etc etc. I couldnt deal with what was going on and I still can't deal with it. Thinking of lookin for s psychotherpist to try and help my head as I really don't feel well right now. The fact my weight has gone up really has distressed me and I have been very depressed. Its been a struggle to get up, wake up, shower etc obviously another reason of weight gain due to simply hardly moving...apart to the kitchen to binge.
some days i feel so angry too. I find it hard as I live with my boyfriend just moved in so there is always food about. sugar and cereal and bread and chocolate etc etc. and although he tries to be great he always says the wrong things...I know though that I am overweight so I suppose there is no point in trying to get someone to tell me that I am not...I know that I am. I am chubby and unfit and unhealthy and have basically just been in bed for the last few months. with depression everything feels so hard and its tough to get through the day. suicidal thoughts have crossed my mind because I can't bare to feel like this. I know I need some distrctions. Brought some colouring books the other day.
so this is my first post in this diary of weight loss but i have no idea if I am going to be able to achieve that or not. I cant stay at this weight because I am so depresed and unhealthy but I feel like I cant stop binging it is a compulsion. I guess I will use this to try and write down how I am feeling. right now i feel like I cant stop i cant do this im not ready to change ...basically that i cant stop binging. i also feel very angry after just having a binge.
food plan? ideally breakfast would be scrambled egg and lunch would be veg and potatoes or rice with fish or chicken.
a tip for me to myself would be to get fish out the day before, and put potatoes out so the next day that I wake up I know that my plan is to have a proper meal.
so my aim for tonight is to get fish out of the freezer and make this dinner tomorrow.
I have also recently brought a few clothes online shopping in the plus size section, just some leggings and a couple of tops but hopefully they will make me feel better.
I do not know right now what to do for exercise. I thought of getting a cross trainer for home...but 1. i dont have the room 2. its embarrasing when people come over 3. what i i buy something and it turns out to be useless, this is going to really stress me out.
I have thought of joining a gym, but i have anxiety issues of leaving the house i think this would be in reality way too much for me right now.
I have a bike but aswell i havn't been able to get out due to anxiety. I thought of getting one of those things you put your bike in to ride it indoors. but whatever I do I know i need to start really gradually because I have literally been in bed for so long. I really hope I can get out of the depression it feels like evrytime i try and get out I am dragged back it. it feels so horrible.
I had some stuff I went through in october - Novemeber time which I couldnt deal with emotionally. Hence the crazy binging began packets of biscuits etc etc. I couldnt deal with what was going on and I still can't deal with it. Thinking of lookin for s psychotherpist to try and help my head as I really don't feel well right now. The fact my weight has gone up really has distressed me and I have been very depressed. Its been a struggle to get up, wake up, shower etc obviously another reason of weight gain due to simply hardly moving...apart to the kitchen to binge.
some days i feel so angry too. I find it hard as I live with my boyfriend just moved in so there is always food about. sugar and cereal and bread and chocolate etc etc. and although he tries to be great he always says the wrong things...I know though that I am overweight so I suppose there is no point in trying to get someone to tell me that I am not...I know that I am. I am chubby and unfit and unhealthy and have basically just been in bed for the last few months. with depression everything feels so hard and its tough to get through the day. suicidal thoughts have crossed my mind because I can't bare to feel like this. I know I need some distrctions. Brought some colouring books the other day.
so this is my first post in this diary of weight loss but i have no idea if I am going to be able to achieve that or not. I cant stay at this weight because I am so depresed and unhealthy but I feel like I cant stop binging it is a compulsion. I guess I will use this to try and write down how I am feeling. right now i feel like I cant stop i cant do this im not ready to change ...basically that i cant stop binging. i also feel very angry after just having a binge.
food plan? ideally breakfast would be scrambled egg and lunch would be veg and potatoes or rice with fish or chicken.
a tip for me to myself would be to get fish out the day before, and put potatoes out so the next day that I wake up I know that my plan is to have a proper meal.
so my aim for tonight is to get fish out of the freezer and make this dinner tomorrow.
I have also recently brought a few clothes online shopping in the plus size section, just some leggings and a couple of tops but hopefully they will make me feel better.
I do not know right now what to do for exercise. I thought of getting a cross trainer for home...but 1. i dont have the room 2. its embarrasing when people come over 3. what i i buy something and it turns out to be useless, this is going to really stress me out.
I have thought of joining a gym, but i have anxiety issues of leaving the house i think this would be in reality way too much for me right now.
I have a bike but aswell i havn't been able to get out due to anxiety. I thought of getting one of those things you put your bike in to ride it indoors. but whatever I do I know i need to start really gradually because I have literally been in bed for so long. I really hope I can get out of the depression it feels like evrytime i try and get out I am dragged back it. it feels so horrible.
