Depression and set backs

RaeOfHope

New member
hi. I am fairly new here.
I am not that much of a new mom. I am 22 and i have a three year old little girl. I started at 150 when before I was pregnant, went to 170 with my daughter. I suffered from postpartum depression after she was born. I was very disappointed that none of the weight seemed to "disapear" like everyone told me it would. I went through some hard times gained another 20lbs. Was about 190 when I got pregnant with a boy (He was addopted by a wonderful family). I went to about 220 with that pregnancy. Continued to suffer from depression and am now at 240.:(
has anyone had to deal with weightloss and depression? I can't stop thinking about all the reasons I want to and need to lose weight. I spend so much time thinking about what I need to do, trying to come up with plans on how to get started, but I have no drive to get started. I dig and dig but I feel so empty when it comes to moving forward.
Had anyone had a really big road block?? What helped you get through it? Anyone dealing with it now? I feel so a lone. Maybe this is bigger than this sight. But I am hopping that someone can understand.
thanks so much.
 
Hi there

You have had a rough road - but you will find support in here for the path of weight loss - as for depression you may need to speak to a professional. WHile we can sympathise with you and try and understand it may be better to speak to someone who can help you get to the bottom of the problem.

Your daughter will thank you in years to come for seeking help and looking after yourself.

Best of luck
 
Hey. I am just now coming back on board after a year away. I saw your subject heading and thought, 'wow, someone else struggles, too.' I have had postpartum depression for two of my three babies. The weight gain was enormous due to health problems and I haven't gotten it off. I understand what you are going through. This is going to sound funny, but make sure you are losing the weight for the right reasons. Start exercising slowly with the intent in mind to just get some sunshine and a restful time away from stress. I have lost 15 lbs. this year...not nearly as much as I would have liked, but it still is 15 lbs. Do it for you. Do it for your kids. But don't do it for the sake of image or acceptance. Easy to say, hard to apply. But I'll be praying for you.
It's easy to listen to others' stories and assume your body is going to do the same thing. Don't fall into that vortex. Your body is yours, only yours, and will react and function uniquely to you. Just remember what your body has done. It has supported and birthed a human being! Never forget how beautiful you are. On the dark days emotionally, have someone close to you who can intervene if you aren't taking care of yourself properly. For me, that is my husband, but for you it could be a friend or family member.

Take care.
 
Last edited:
Thank you!!!

Thank you soo much!! I really did feel alone. I know people who have had babies and are fine. I was affraid that the only respons I was going to get was..your crazy, get help. I wasn't look for that. Post partum depression is something not many people talk about so I wasn't sure I would get a respons at all. Thank you for sharing with me! It really puts my mind at ease knowing that I am not only with where I am starting from.
It seems as though some people can just look at picture and make the changes, but I dont have that. I wish I had that. I know weight loss can be a mental game too, and that if one is not in the right frame of mind, it probably wont stick. I have come so far mentally over the last few years, and even though I still have bad days, I am very proud of where I am mentally. I am struggling to make that jump to taking care of myself..but I am getting there. Thank you again!!! It really helps to know I am not alone and that any numer with worth celebrating.
Thank you thank you!! :) :D :)
 
i have a 2yr old girl and i had to have a termination due to medical reasons 4mnths after she was born with in that week i went from being a mum to spending 8wks in hospital in a mental ward. i gained 40kgs having my girl i feel that i have no one to talk to but yet my family always sticks by me. i try always to push them away. i push my girl away all the time i will not take the meds that the docs put me on as i think they make me worse. i want to lose weight its my 21st this yr. i feel for you u i have depression and split personality disorder plz let me know how your going
 
i have very minor depression issues, but i would definitely talk more with your doc about your meds and if you feel that they're not listening to you or trying to work with you to find you suitable meds, you may seriously consider "interviewing" other docs to find someone who will help you.
 
I am not sure I can comment on the split personality thing. I would defiently say to get some help, some how. Its hard for me to talk about because I never got medication for my depression..I have been just trying to deal with it. It has gotten much better over the last year, but there are still days that worry me. I would say get help...I tried, but it didn't stick, so I just became a hermit so I wouldn't have to deal with anyone. I tried because of my daughter...that's what you need to do. She needs you, and even if you dont think you deserve to be taken care of...she deserves to have a good mother, right? so give her one. I tell myself all the time that I have to watch the example I am setting for her. Talk to people too. I never talked to anyone and that made it worse, cause i couldn't tell anyone.
I dont know if that helps. I am not sure I have a place in giving advice when i find myself unsure sometimes. I like to buy large rubber bands and write positive thoughts on one side. then i wear them on my wrist (inside out if i dont want others to see it) and then i have them with me all the time.
i hope things get better for you. its not easy. its never easy. i wish i had gotten more help because then i might not have put on all the weight i have. do try. its okay to take care of yourself.
well, i have to get to school. i am running late. take care.
 
*Clapping*

I just want to say that I applaud you guys for reply with your stories. I know lots of people do not like to talk about depression. I think that is the most harmful thing for new moms not to talk about it. Those who sit on the sidelines and say nothing are really making it harder for others too. So thank you for those brave enough to say something.
 
I'm right there with you. I am 6 months pp and up 45 lbs! I hate seeing all the other cute little moms walking around that lost the weight just like that. I just want to smack them! I am also going through a major depressive swing right now and I'm not sure if it's a post partum thing, because my husband has been in a job training across the country for the past 6 months, because I am bi-polar, or the most likely a combination of the three. I love getting outside though and try to take my daughter on walks as often as possible, she loves it too. The sunny weather we have been having helps a lot to motivate me to go do something, but I need to work more cardio into the mix too. I think that having kids makes loosing weight 10 times harder.
 
Hi everyone. I'm not exactly a new mom. I've a daughter who is almost 3. I was always over weight. I went from 156lbs to 198 lbs during my pregnancy.
I was told that i had to exercise immediately after the birth of my baby or the flab would never go. I exercise like a mad woman now, but the flab is still around decorated by the stretch marks!!!!!!:confused:
 
Hi everyone. I'm not exactly a new mom. I've a daughter who is almost 3. I was always over weight. I went from 156lbs to 198 lbs during my pregnancy.
I was told that i had to exercise immediately after the birth of my baby or the flab would never go. I exercise like a mad woman now, but the flab is still around decorated by the stretch marks!!!!!!:confused:

I want the answer to this one too. I am not so tastefully decorated in stretch marks curtesy of 5 kids and a lot of belly flab I am trying to lose. I am sure that I am exercising wrong or not enough or something because I seem to lose the weight everywhere but where I need to lose it the most:(
 
Depression isn't easy thats for sure. My partner is having problems with depression too, no post partum though of course as hes male!

Hes had allsorts of problems regarding medications, for some people they just seem to make things worse.

I have a few suggestions that may help.

One is to see if you can spot any triggers, when I see triggers I am not saying they will be a cause but rather something that may aggravate it. It could be things like too many highly refined carbohydrates or more trickier things like preservatives and the like.

In regards to highly refined carbohydrates and even just too much fruit is that they can cause big swings in your blood sugars. When you consume sugar especially highly refines ones you will find your blood sugar goes straight up very quickly putting you on a bit off a high then all of a sudden it comes crashing down. The large and sudden swings can really play havoc with your hormones and moods.

Other things to keep an eye out on are additives and even some naturally occuring chemicals in foods, some people are really sensitive to these things and the tricky bit about them is it is not always straight forward, sometimes its a cumulative things where it needs to build up a little in your system or it doesn't affect you straight away but instead a day or two later.

For example we have noticed my partner is very sensitive to caffienne, it sends him troppo.

Another tip is omega 3, make sure you have plenty in your diet as this can really help as well as sun and exercise.

The reason sun is so important is the vitamin D you soak up through your skin so always make sure when your out in it that you have some skin exposed and without sun screen!

If you are having a bad winter or bed ridden and the like which is keeping you from getting some sun I would suggest considering a vitamin D supplement.

Exercise too is very important in the battling depression and this will also help to control your blood sugars.

Of course when your depressed it is very hard to get motivated. Try and drag yourself out to get some sun and exercise, after a few times it will get easier and you will really enjoy it. Even when there is no sun, I find my head is always clearer after a good walk in the fresh air, give it a try!

Try not to get complacent, if something happens and you can't do your walk one day, get straight back to it the next day as the longer you leave it the more of that new momentum you gained, you start to lose.
 
its been a couple of months now and im feeling great. im more excepting of my daughter now. i spent 8wks in hospital wen my girl was only 4months old i felt like my world was taken away from me but now im just starting to make up for that time. my doctors always told me i would never feel better unless i told my mum the secret i was holding onto for 10yrs. so on the 19/03/2007 i built up the courage to tell her i have never felt so good im starting to love life for the 1st time in 2yrs. my daughter is now 2yrs and 5mnths and so cute i always blamed my mum for not protecting me wen i was a kid. wen i told her she said she had no idea now i glad its out in the open and that part of my life is over ive cried enough rivers for that part of my life now i can try and live a childhood with my daughter to share it with i want to make up for all the lost time i spent scared. my daughters day care teacher comented the pther day how good and happy i am looking and for the 1st time in so many years i can actualy say that im not just puting a fake smile on my face this time its a real SMILE.
 
you are all definetly (SP) not alone. I had my first child about 6 months ago. Everyone was like oh that weight will come off in no time..yea right!!! i actually GAINED 7 lbs!! I now weigh 237 lbs and I am ready to take my life back..i was never one of those women who got depressed but that all changed when i had my daughter. Sometimes i wouldn't even get dressed! I had thoughts of suicide and god i hate saying this bad thoughts about my daughter...but now im taking my life back....I have been depression free for almost 1 month now and it's awesome!! im read to lose the weight and begin my life!!! i jsut want to wish everyone who is still dealing with depression good luck...it will get better...pray..it really helps...

Evie
 
i am glad this came up. i'm in the same spot. i can't get motivated to exercise, i'm always so tired with 2 kids. more about me-i'mm 22. i gained 40 lbs in my last pregnancy)my daughter is 3 months old). i have lost 15, but now i'm stuck. i have been depressed lately too, i don't think my pills are working. i have manic depression and a chemical imbalance. i have been institutionalized twice for suicide attemplts. i so often feel like no one understand. i feel like we should talk more, maybe be phone or email buddies. i do have some good weight loss tips. my email is crazyfool111684?yahoo.com. hope to hear from you!
 
you are not alone!

I'm glad this came up too. Depression is beast of an illness! For me, it feeds on isolation, and being a new mom can be inherently isolating. I don't have a lot to add here besides my support for any of you who are suffering out there.

Depression has crept into my life several times and I take what measures I can to fight it, such as acknowleding it, seeing a doctor, getting outside, moving. Mine hasn't been post-partum related, but more recent bouts have certainly been related to my new, unwelcome body and flesh that seems determined to stick around even though everyone said it would come off. Sometimes each day is a battle - please don't think that you are alone out there, you're not!
 
I did it!!

Hi.
I know I am not on here much, so people really don't know me. But I have to shot it from the roof tops. I stoped drinking Pepsi on June 4th. I have been eating better too. I have lost almost 5lbs! :)
It's not every much. But I am happy. I can't really tell my family cause I am not sure they would be happy for me. I know it's a little amount but its a start. Only 95 more pounds to go! haha. :doh:
I am proud, but now I am getting to the hard part. I wanted to focus on fixing my eating habits slowly so I didn't overwhelm myself. I have done okay so far. It's getting harder though. My family still wants to eat out all the time. I keeping thinking that I have done so good for myself that i deserve a reward...but that is dangerous. I am actually think more about bad foods now that I did in the beginning. Why is that?
I need to incorperate exercise too. I am not sure where to start because I am too big to do something and I don't want to work out for the sake of it and hurt myself, or do things wrong. What's a simple way to start? Something even big people can do? Anyone have ideas?

Thanks so much!
 
What I would say is don't look at food as a reward because doing that is like saying, "Don't look at the naked man behind the curtain!" You'll focus too much on what you think you are depriving yourself of. Instead rewards should be things like new clothes, new cd, anything that doesn't involve consuming calories. Eating out isn't that bad if you make the right choices. And while i"m sure everyone here has been guilty of caving into the pressures that come with social dining, you can't let that ruin it for you. You don't have to tell your family what you're doing if you don't want to, but six nights out of the week find an excuse to eat a homemade meal. Or better yet, get your family rolling on the same ball.

Something else that is starting to work for me is focusing on nutrition or some element. I've become more concentrated on my protein intake due to some hairloss and while I'm most certainly eating much healthier than I have in the last few months, instead of saying. "I can't have that... it's bad for me.", I look at everything and thing. "Is this high in protein without adding a ton of fat?" Shifting the focus can make a big difference. Good luck!
 
Good news, bad weeks

Hi there. I was doing pretty good. I am at almost 10lbs lost. I was on a really big role and things were going great...Then I have a bad week, went out to eat more and ended up gaining back a pound. The next week after wasn't too bad, managed to lose that pound, so I am back to were I was two weeks ago.
I feel like I have wasted two weeks! Although it didn't help that my birthday and my daughters birthday (and two parties) were all in the same week. That is three different cakes! Agh! I know 1 pound sounds silly, but its mentally freaking me out. I have never lost more than 10lbs. I have got 100 to lose, so I can't get stuck at just 10!! Its kind of deflated my success.
Worst of all..I keep thinking about food. mental I don't know whats going on. I keep thinking I am hungery, I need to eat, can't i have just one day to just eat! But that is not good thinking, and I was doing so good at keeping tempting thoughts at bay. Now they are flooding my mind. I have lost ground but I still have so far to go..Now what?
I am feeling stuck and I dont want to feel stuck. I want to feel excited about eating better again. How can I get myself back on track after a week of birthdays and meals out? I could use any good tips, or advice.
 
Back
Top