I have been here way too may times. I have told myself that this attempt to lose weight will be the last one...time and time again. I've had dozens of "last meals" where I decide this will be the last bit of junk food that I will have for a month. That lasts for about a day if I'm lucky. I'm sure my situation is not a unique one.
For the past couple of years I have been trying to lose weight. I am officially classified as "super-obese" because I have a BMI of 53.8. I weigh 380 pounds. I have been "stuck" around this weight for a while now and the heaviest I have been was 395, never got around to the big 400, thankfully.
I am sick and tired of the little things that being "super-obese" entails. Pulling my shirt constantly to make it fit. Getting tired of sitting too long, or standing too long. Having half of my ass stick out of the chairs at school and realizing that there is supposed to be a gap between yourself and the little desk. Looking in the mirror is a pain. My lower back and leg pains that don't allow me to sleep through the night. Little things, that make up very big obstacles in my life.
In the past I had used the excuse of "not seeing any results" in order to avoid any attempts to better myself. I would try a "diet" or would try eating healthy for a day or two ad have completely unrealistic expectations as to the minimal results that effort would have on me. That all changed last year. From September 2009 to January 2010, I managed to go from my top weight of 395 down to 333. 62 pounds! Yet, I was not satisfied. I felt great. Stairs were no problem. I had seen results, my clothes were smaller and easier to find. I can't even articulate why I stopped. It is irrational. Stupid on my part. I spent at least a thousand or a thousand five hundred dollars on BAD FOOD in the span of 4 months, all for myself.
Now I find myself stuck in my old ways. Starting a healthy diet on Monday and quitting on Tuesday. Preparing the rest of the week for the "real" one that starts next Monday. I have always been to proud to seek help. I have had doctors tell me that I should be thinner, "yeah, no s**t Sherlock!"
You see my biggest gripe is that I know what i have to do! I know how to do it! I have the tools to do so! Yet I can't bring myself to "put down the fork" as so many people playfully oversimplify the process.
I have been really depressed lately. I have been brought to tears for no apparent reason. I know I have a problem, and I need help. I apologize for ranting. I really like the idea of this community and I hope to achieve my goals with the help of this great forum.
For the past couple of years I have been trying to lose weight. I am officially classified as "super-obese" because I have a BMI of 53.8. I weigh 380 pounds. I have been "stuck" around this weight for a while now and the heaviest I have been was 395, never got around to the big 400, thankfully.
I am sick and tired of the little things that being "super-obese" entails. Pulling my shirt constantly to make it fit. Getting tired of sitting too long, or standing too long. Having half of my ass stick out of the chairs at school and realizing that there is supposed to be a gap between yourself and the little desk. Looking in the mirror is a pain. My lower back and leg pains that don't allow me to sleep through the night. Little things, that make up very big obstacles in my life.
In the past I had used the excuse of "not seeing any results" in order to avoid any attempts to better myself. I would try a "diet" or would try eating healthy for a day or two ad have completely unrealistic expectations as to the minimal results that effort would have on me. That all changed last year. From September 2009 to January 2010, I managed to go from my top weight of 395 down to 333. 62 pounds! Yet, I was not satisfied. I felt great. Stairs were no problem. I had seen results, my clothes were smaller and easier to find. I can't even articulate why I stopped. It is irrational. Stupid on my part. I spent at least a thousand or a thousand five hundred dollars on BAD FOOD in the span of 4 months, all for myself.
Now I find myself stuck in my old ways. Starting a healthy diet on Monday and quitting on Tuesday. Preparing the rest of the week for the "real" one that starts next Monday. I have always been to proud to seek help. I have had doctors tell me that I should be thinner, "yeah, no s**t Sherlock!"
You see my biggest gripe is that I know what i have to do! I know how to do it! I have the tools to do so! Yet I can't bring myself to "put down the fork" as so many people playfully oversimplify the process.
I have been really depressed lately. I have been brought to tears for no apparent reason. I know I have a problem, and I need help. I apologize for ranting. I really like the idea of this community and I hope to achieve my goals with the help of this great forum.
