Plain and simply, drop the weight on deadlift.
As for bench press, there are multiple ways that I spot depending on how experience and well I think/know the person doing the bench press. My leg are spread shoulder length apart and staggered with the right leg more in front. My crouch is almost over their forehead. My hand grip is inverted as well with the right knuckle facing toward the leg of the bench presser and the left knuckles facing towards me. When they do need the spot, I slowly bend with the knee and elbow and lift when they need it.
There are 2 cases of spotting: 1 rep max or spotting for them to do 1-2 extra rep (trying to go from 6 rep to 8 or 10 rep total). On a one rep max, i am focus and ready to pull up after the person is stuck for about 1/2 a second to 1 second at most with a SLOW and steady lift. I try not to jerk the weight up too fast or too slow to the point of the presser running out of energy and cannot lift it up. On spotting the extra rep case, I would HOOVER over the bar once they are struggling with their final 2ish rep. When they do need the help, i would only gently assist 5-10 pounds lift and let the rep go up slowly; increasing the assisted lift more or less varing with the person struggling and their form. If their form is completely off and BAD ( overly arching their lower back or flaring their elbows out too much or lopsided), I will pull up as fast as I can to save them from injury. If they can maintain their form, i will let the ascending press up nice and slow.
sorry to make it soo long, just trying to be detailed.