Hi,
I've never been on or even used a forum before. I think i'm looking for help. About 2 years ago i started working out. over the 2 years i became a fitness guru. i went from 120lbs, to 103lbs. I became slightly obsessed with working out and eating healthy. My life revolved around working out and planning my meals and reading about health and fitness. i was able to keep this obsession at bay thought because i'm not endangering myself and its not affecting anyone else it was ok. a few months ago i had some health problems, and had to go for a series of testing throughout this, my doctor told me i was not allowed to work out. This is when the real problem started. I was devistated. I cried, and i fought with my parents and boyfriend because i wanted to workout "lightly" anyways. Well there was no way they were going to let me. Over the next couple months signs of an anxiety disorder became very apparent, i have had the symptoms for almost a year now, but they became much worse and my doctor has diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder. Also, i became extremely paranoid about gaining weight due to not exercising. i was eating close to 2000 calories while i worked out. but b/c i wasnt working out, i was scared i wouldnt be burning these caloires. so i cut back and i cut back. my weight droped to 91lbs. i'm extremely obsessed and have to know the exact nutritional value of every thing that goes in my mouth, if i dont know the calories, i wont eat it. there are times when i have to eat something i dont know, and i become very upset to the point i want to cry. I went out for breakfast and forgot to say "no butter on the toast" i got so upset about it i couldnt eat. I am dissapointed in myself that i have let this happen, i am embarrassed and i am unable to tell my parents or my doctor, i have with some force talked to my boyfriend about it. I can admit i have a problem, but at the same time i dont want to fix it for fear of gaining weight. My doctor just gave me the ok to go back to working out. I'm hoping this will help me and i'll start to actually eat again. I know i need to increase my calories once i start back at the gym, but i'm not sure how to go about doing this without gaining too much weight. I really dont want to have to involve or burden my parents with this, and so im wondering if there is anyways i can overcome this on my own?
I've never been on or even used a forum before. I think i'm looking for help. About 2 years ago i started working out. over the 2 years i became a fitness guru. i went from 120lbs, to 103lbs. I became slightly obsessed with working out and eating healthy. My life revolved around working out and planning my meals and reading about health and fitness. i was able to keep this obsession at bay thought because i'm not endangering myself and its not affecting anyone else it was ok. a few months ago i had some health problems, and had to go for a series of testing throughout this, my doctor told me i was not allowed to work out. This is when the real problem started. I was devistated. I cried, and i fought with my parents and boyfriend because i wanted to workout "lightly" anyways. Well there was no way they were going to let me. Over the next couple months signs of an anxiety disorder became very apparent, i have had the symptoms for almost a year now, but they became much worse and my doctor has diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder. Also, i became extremely paranoid about gaining weight due to not exercising. i was eating close to 2000 calories while i worked out. but b/c i wasnt working out, i was scared i wouldnt be burning these caloires. so i cut back and i cut back. my weight droped to 91lbs. i'm extremely obsessed and have to know the exact nutritional value of every thing that goes in my mouth, if i dont know the calories, i wont eat it. there are times when i have to eat something i dont know, and i become very upset to the point i want to cry. I went out for breakfast and forgot to say "no butter on the toast" i got so upset about it i couldnt eat. I am dissapointed in myself that i have let this happen, i am embarrassed and i am unable to tell my parents or my doctor, i have with some force talked to my boyfriend about it. I can admit i have a problem, but at the same time i dont want to fix it for fear of gaining weight. My doctor just gave me the ok to go back to working out. I'm hoping this will help me and i'll start to actually eat again. I know i need to increase my calories once i start back at the gym, but i'm not sure how to go about doing this without gaining too much weight. I really dont want to have to involve or burden my parents with this, and so im wondering if there is anyways i can overcome this on my own?
