Chimi - A New Diary May 29

C

chimistar

New member
Hi everyone!!!

I started a diary on December. After a couple of pounds off I had problems to write in the forum. I start to eat again and gain more weight than the beginning of my journal.

Today I join a gym and weight my self. I weight 200 pounds!!!! I can't believe it !!!! I am in a complete depression. I feel like a looser and honestly I don't have hope about loosing weight. I know I have to do it but I am always anxious to eat something. This is like a point of no return. I feel completely out of shape, my clothes does not fit any more.

The worst part is that I read today the journal of some members that start with me the last time. All of theme lost a lot of weight and that make me feel like a complete looser.

I love this forum because is the only thing I found help me with the motivation and discipline ( wich I don't have any ).

Please I appreciate all of you to read my journal and share with me the most difficult time in my life. I have to loose weight because I don't feel healthy any more. I know I can do this but I recognize this is hard for me.

Hopeless,

chimistar
200 pounds 5-29-2006:( :( :(
 
Hey chimistar, that’s the worst thing about starting a new eating plan and exercise routine all you think about is food. My advice to you is to Wright a weekly plan of breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. If you are still hungry in-between cook yourself some corn on the cob (no butter) whole or grated carrot, fruit anything like that and munch on it im sure in no more than 2 weeks your appetite will calm down. Try to eat some things that have a low GI and foods with fiber will calm your appetite. Don’t forget your water as it will help keep you full as well. I hope this helps hun.
 
Welcome back. You can do this. You are back now and your taking control of your life and heading in a new direction. Dont put your self down but look up and regonise that now is the time for change and that you will be sucessful. We are all here to support each other so get on here as much as you can, write down what your eating if that helps. I know you will do well.
 
Day 1

Hi everyone!!!

Thanks for your posts and for reading my journal. I think that coming back everyday to this forum really works for me. I will write the food I eat every night before going to bed.

Today I don't feel happy about the diet. It is my first day and is always like that. The good thing is that I don't crave anything today. Water is the key for weight loss so I'm drinking lots of water. I know I have to do this for my health and my mood. It is getting to the point that I am so embarassed about my weight that I don't want to go out. I rather be at home. That is so pathetic, isn't it?

Keep reading my journal. I know is a little bit boring sometimes but I hoped to start loosing weight so my mood will change and my posts too.

Thanks everyone for your support.

chimistar
 
It's great you've come back to turn things around! :) You should be proud of yourself for that. It takes a lot of hard work and time to lose weight so just take your time and eventually you'll see progress. Being embarrassed to go out is not pathetic. A lot of us feel that way because we feel like people are making fun of us. It's just an insecurity that everyone goes through. Even thin people.
 
Hi chimistar, I put a little lemon juice in my water and that helps me drink more. Because you are so right, water is the key!!!
 
Day 2

Hi everyone!! At least people keep reading my journal!!! I feel so happy every time I check my journal and see all your advice and motivational messages. Thanks a lot!!!

Today I rather eat nothing. I am a little bit sick so I was in bed all day. Why I get sick every time I am in a diet??? Is like my body is allergic to diets or simply needs a lot of calories. At least I had lots of water and no Cokes. I am trying to break a habit of drinking Coke and Pepsi.

I did not exercise. I was not feeling well (a bad cold flu!!!). Well I will continue tomorrow writing every thing that I eat.

I DON'T WANT TO BE FAT ANYMORE!!!!! My new goal is for Christmas. I hate to go to a holiday family party and all your cousins and uncles start complaining about how fat you are. It makes me crazy.

The worst part or my turning point (That is the reason to coming back to the forum) was last week when I meet this friend in the store and told me... are you pregnant?? It happens with 2 friends in the same week. I felt so bad about me that I decide to do something about it. It is so hard for me to start a diet and to keep it.

Well , I'm using this journal to write everything I feel about my weight and how it makes me feel. It helps me a lot. I write everything I can't tell not even to my husband. I did not tell him about my friends asking me if I am pregnant because he will tell me that I look pregnant. Uhhhh!!!!

What ever!!! Keep writing in my journal.

Hugs,

Cstar
:confused:
 
Chimi, you came back to change the way things are and for that I agree with Eric - you should be proud of yourself! Its the first step in the right direction! If you find it too hard to "diet" all at once, change a little at a time. No coke/ pepsi, for instance, for the first week and replace with a lot of water. the next week, shoot for less fats (while continuing the no soda). Then add, 20 - 30 minutes of exercise/ heart- raising movement each day. You get the idea :D

Also, concentrate on one day at a time. "today, I will _______ and ______". You CAN do this and you WILL get to where you want to be! :D It takes work but its SO worth it in the end :D Come here as often as you need to and we'll be here for ya ;)
 
Cstar,

Trust me, I know how you feel. I always tell myself that I am going to start dieting and I always quit, time and time again. I always read messages here and I am like damn, If only I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight. I have been trying to get skinny for years. But I have just decided this is going to be my time. If everyone else can do it then so can we! Even if you lose only 5 lbs a month, by december you will be I think somewhere around 160. And that is still hot, you can go waltzing into your party in our cute dress and be like "Hey Look at me!" Just remember to stick to it. Its ok to make a mistake- just don't quit! We all know how hard it is to lose weight and we are here for ya!!! You have already lost weight! Just keep goin!

Jelly

SW:249lbs
CW:247lbs
STGW:220lbs
GW:120lbs

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life"
 
Hi!!!!

Hi everyone!!!

I was reading and posting in some of the journals. It is incredible the amount of information you learn by reading the journals, that can help you to reach your goals.

Well I've been fooling around a little bit, also I was sick so I did'nt eat a lot this days. I'm waiting to feel better to go to the gym again. I'm watching what I put in my mouth and drink lots of water.

I will try to read some of the journals and to stick to the forum. The support system I found in this place is awsome. It mean a lot to me. I have to weight my self on Monday. I will post my weight then.

well keep reading my journal, I will reply to everyone that writes to me. I will try at least.

Chimistar
 
Terrible Moment

Hi!!! It's been a while :rotflmao: but thank God, I'm back. Don't get confused I'm still on the gym and eating better and better everyday. I had my low moments. Everyday is a challenge. I was busy at work.

Today I had a very low moment. Today is my 31 birthday. My boss told me that he though I was near 40!! Then I told him my age and he told me, "well that is what fat can do, make you older. Wow!! It was a so humiliating. This make me come back to my diary. I need to express myself. The worst thing is that I've been dieting and at the gym. I know the change is happening and then this old man told me that on my birthday??

Well that is how depressing is to live when you are not in shape. Then I have another low moment. There was this cute guy who was my friend at the university. I crossed him today at my work. He was a visitor or had an interview. He was talking to me so friendly, remembering good times, asking if I was married and then he ask..... How many months do you have, are you pregnant??? Wow two terrible situations in my birthday. I hope to recover from this. The worst thing was that he heavy also and he used to be athletic. lol!!!! Well I need support; this is the worst birthday ever!!!! I wish I could skip it!!!

chimistar
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

What a bonehead your boss is - so sorry he said that to you... use that anger to help keep you on the right track - it's great motivation to prove those poopyheads wrong..
 
Thanks Mal

Hi!! Thanks Mal. I am taking your advice. Loosing weight is harder than I ever thought. I used to think it was hard but God, it is so difficult. I guess consistency is the key. I'll stick to this diary. Actually this is my main motivation to keep going. Please write all the comments or sugestions you may have.

Chimistar
 
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