ilikegandhi
New member
132lbs
5'3"
Goal Weight 110lbs by 6/20/09
I am already telling myself that this will be impossible. I've wanted to lose this 20, the same 20 pounds since I can remember. It's always the same thing, I set goals and expectations for myslef usually to make myslef look beautiful in time for some event or another and each time I fail. The time will come when I am still 20 pounds away from ahppiness with a month or 2 week deadline. It's always pitiful because I spend thy time in self pitying dispair wondering what I did to deserve a body that can't fit into a size 6 nicely and why my stomach is at an evil porportion to my legs. I feel like I try so had but my attempts are still feeble. I honestly know I have no real hope of doing this. I eat one or twice a day. Usually at McD's and even then I don't eat much. So it's not like I could eat healthily and I can't afford to go to the gym. So I ask what do I do? I walk that's what I do. Well that's my plan. An hour walk a day and I don't know what will happen.
I fear that I will lose some weight and then I will go to visit my home town the whole point in me loosing weight and then I will gain it all back in that 6 weeks. I know that my time there will be spent at nightclubs with booze and cocaine and more sex than I've seen in some time. So honeslty my goal is so that I will look pretty for those weeks. I would like to maintai that weight. It will really lead to my happiness. I hate how I can't wear pretty clothes an the way my fat has been spread around myself leads me to wear a jacket daily. I hvent worn a bathing suit in years. I hate myself and I hate this.
I don't want a maricle cure all. I know that I will have to work for this. I am willing to do that. But I do want a fighting chance. I don't want to be living in this rich new town with both no money and therefor no means to looking healthy and beautiful like all the other women here. I am so young I shouldn't already have the worlds slowest metabolism and a body that no one could ever love.
This is getting into a pathetic ramble. Awesome. I might aak about advice as to how to get in check an lose weight. Bye.
5'3"
Goal Weight 110lbs by 6/20/09
I am already telling myself that this will be impossible. I've wanted to lose this 20, the same 20 pounds since I can remember. It's always the same thing, I set goals and expectations for myslef usually to make myslef look beautiful in time for some event or another and each time I fail. The time will come when I am still 20 pounds away from ahppiness with a month or 2 week deadline. It's always pitiful because I spend thy time in self pitying dispair wondering what I did to deserve a body that can't fit into a size 6 nicely and why my stomach is at an evil porportion to my legs. I feel like I try so had but my attempts are still feeble. I honestly know I have no real hope of doing this. I eat one or twice a day. Usually at McD's and even then I don't eat much. So it's not like I could eat healthily and I can't afford to go to the gym. So I ask what do I do? I walk that's what I do. Well that's my plan. An hour walk a day and I don't know what will happen.
I fear that I will lose some weight and then I will go to visit my home town the whole point in me loosing weight and then I will gain it all back in that 6 weeks. I know that my time there will be spent at nightclubs with booze and cocaine and more sex than I've seen in some time. So honeslty my goal is so that I will look pretty for those weeks. I would like to maintai that weight. It will really lead to my happiness. I hate how I can't wear pretty clothes an the way my fat has been spread around myself leads me to wear a jacket daily. I hvent worn a bathing suit in years. I hate myself and I hate this.
I don't want a maricle cure all. I know that I will have to work for this. I am willing to do that. But I do want a fighting chance. I don't want to be living in this rich new town with both no money and therefor no means to looking healthy and beautiful like all the other women here. I am so young I shouldn't already have the worlds slowest metabolism and a body that no one could ever love.
This is getting into a pathetic ramble. Awesome. I might aak about advice as to how to get in check an lose weight. Bye.