Changing (my) heart and mind

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MarineLizard

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Hello forum,

This is my first diary post! I'm on here for support and to hear what works and doesn't work for people, knowing that we are all differently abled and motivated. So here's the skinny (so to speak) on me:

I'm coming up on my 40th birthday, have 2 small kids, and am struggling with obesity. I'm a 6' tall woman. My body really changed after my second child 3 years ago as a woman of "advanced maternal age" - worst term ever. I never really carried my weight around the middle, but I do now. Muscles that were always strong in my back and core are now weaker than they ever were. I look gross; worse than when I was pregnant. My job for half the year was very active - tromping around carrying heavy things in mud for several hours a day. You would think this helped with dropping weight, but it just ended getting me injured to the point where I ended up applying (and getting) another position with less field work. I have been in that job for 1 month now. It is less active, but I'm looking forward to fewer injuries and surprisingly, more time for habits like walking during lunch. My job is about 1hr 15 min away from home, so I spend a lot of time in the car and am pretty much exhausted when I get home. I miss feeling strong and healthy. I can't do the things I want to do with my family. I don't know what a day without physical pain is like anymore.

So, while this has nothing to do with New Year's resolutions, the new year is timely. I'm trying to make small changes that are lasting. I've been in the situation before where I really thought I had made lifestyle change only for it to peter out months later. I've seen temporary success with low-carb diets, so I'm purposefully trying not to focus on that. I'm not interested in fad diets, and as a scientist object to many of them a lot. I don't do well with calorie counting since it ruins my enjoyment of food and eating. I tend to feel guilty when I have set-backs to the point where I stop habits like writing down what I eat. That might be my biggest hurdle - getting back on the horse after falling off.

Here are some things I've been doing regularly for about 2 weeks now that make me feel better.
1. Cut out sweets. I was never a sweets hound until last year. By sweets, I mean dessert-like things with refined sugars. I haven't had soda in about 20 years and don't drink juice or caffeine already. It has been almost 2 weeks of abstaining and I'm finding that I don't want sugary sweets as much. I'm allowing myself other carbs though, which is something I haven't done in the past. My current short-term goal is 30 days without sweets.

2. Make sure I drink water at work. This is easier with my new job and forces me to walk down a couple of halls to get it.

3. Carry around my phone with a pedometer app. Pedometers are notoriously horrible step trackers for those who spend a lot of time in cars, but I can get a relative measure of how many steps I do each day an it encourages me to be more active.

4. Proper arm form push-ups in the morning on an incline against a counter. I'm up to 20 now. I have to watch it and not push myself, otherwise my lower back injury is aggravated. These are followed by regular squats and sumo squats (~30 total). I do them before I walk out the door in the morning to get my blood pumping before my drive. It is quick (2 min) and at least something if I don't get to do anything else the rest of the day. I've also been doing planks on and off because of my back and I only get up to about 25-30".

5. Just moved into a new house (life changes anyone?) and I have stairs now. Yeah?! I use them to stretch my calves all the time now. My calves prevent a lot of longer walking since they are so tight. I'm also chasing the kids up and down and unpacking, so that gets in some steps.

So I'm not trying a huge lifestyle change all at once. We'll see how it goes. I'm happy to hear it any of these things have worked for others and any other changes for next steps. For my health and the ability to be there for my family, I want and need to lose a lot of weight. My first major goal, which I hope to accomplish in a year is to reach 220 lbs, which takes me out of the obesity category. Wish me luck, or better yet, perseverance.
 
I wish you perseverance, dynamic muscular stability for your lower back and ease of mind. I like your plan as it sounds like a healthy, long-term solution. Both the planks and incline push-ups can really help your back pain, provided you do them correctly. (Sorry, I'm a physical therapist, I have to add that last part).
About getting back on the wagon when you fall off... Much of that is habit, but part is being kind to yourself. If you acknowledge that shit happens to the best of us you'll be up and running again sooner than when you use slip-ups as a reason to call yourself horrible names. Which, judging from this single post, you may be prone to.
All the best, LaMa.
 
Hi, MarineLizard & a great big welcome to the forum. LaMa has said most of what I would have before I got a chance. I think the "being kind to yourself" is one of the most important hurdles to overcome. No name-calling. It sounds like you are doing all the right things & I feel you will fit right in here. It's lovely to have you here. I might just call you Liz if that's ok. Cheers, Cate.
 
I wish you perseverance, dynamic muscular stability for your lower back and ease of mind. I like your plan as it sounds like a healthy, long-term solution. Both the planks and incline push-ups can really help your back pain, provided you do them correctly. (Sorry, I'm a physical therapist, I have to add that last part).
About getting back on the wagon when you fall off... Much of that is habit, but part is being kind to yourself. If you acknowledge that shit happens to the best of us you'll be up and running again sooner than when you use slip-ups as a reason to call yourself horrible names. Which, judging from this single post, you may be prone to.
All the best, LaMa.
You are so right about form being important. I am going to physical therapy for my work injuries. They have taken me off some exercises like lunges and limited my planks, etc to ending before failure. It is frustrating to want to do more exercise and not being able to.
 
Hi, MarineLizard & a great big welcome to the forum. LaMa has said most of what I would have before I got a chance. I think the "being kind to yourself" is one of the most important hurdles to overcome. No name-calling. It sounds like you are doing all the right things & I feel you will fit right in here. It's lovely to have you here. I might just call you Liz if that's ok. Cheers, Cate.
Thanks, Cate. Liz is fine. :) Thanks for the support.
 
The kids and I are going to get a walk in this morning before the rain comes for the next week or two. We are going to explore our new neighborhood and check out the playground. I moved to Oregon from Hawaii and while I have been here for several years, the gray and weather still get me down and not wanting to leave the house. Still looking for ways to motivate going outside in rain and ways to get in exercise inside. Taking advantage of the "sunny" weather, which is really just not rain, while I can. We may go back to a nearby Wildlife Refuge where we saw elk and migrating swans and other birds the other day. It is a wonderful place to walk around.
 
Welcome to the forum, it looks like you are on the right path.

I lost count of the times i heard that phrase "Advanced maternal age " over the last few month lol and you haven't even hit 40 yet !!
 
A very silly thing that nevertheless motivates me to go outside when the weather looks dark, wet or unpleasant is to get outdoorsy gear I don´t just feel comfortable in but like the look of. Proper gear will keep you warm and dry in all but the most horrible of weather conditions, with the added advantage of making you feel like a kid playing in puddles.
 
I woke up last night with a really sore throat. Not feeling my best in the morning but felt okay throughout the day. Lunch came and went at work and I didn't get a walk in, but I did get home before the rest of the family so I took a brisk walk. Not as many steps or as much activity as this weekend, but still something. I had a great family meal the past two nights; green beans, cherry tomatoes, and turkey/oatmeal meatloaf that the kids actually ate. We called it a hamburger that you slice and they bought it.

I've been wanting to check in with my weight, but I'm apprehensive. I don't want to be scale obsessed but I'm procrastinating. How often do you weigh yourself? Do you find it motivating? How do you deal with unhappy results? I was thinking I would weight in weekly, maybe twice a week at the same time of day. I didn't mention this before but my starting weight was 280 lbs a few days ago. To be honest, it was lower than I expected. I'm not sure what it was before.
 
I try to weigh only once a week & I find it very hard & de-motivating if I have not lost anything. Some people weigh every day. It really does depend on how well you personally cope with variations. You'll work out what is right for you.
 
I weight once a week. Even that might be too often for some. I can swing up or down 7 lbs if the time of the month is right (cough). I also started at 280, although I'm six inches shorter than you. I think 220 by the end of the year is a great goal.
 
I'm having trouble sleeping right now. It could be from my congestion - getting a cold. I'm having a hard time with energy during the day too. I don't think it is diet or too little calories or carbs. Nevertheless, got up this morning and started my squats and push-ups without really even thinking about it. I know I'll need to start stepping it up soon, but I just want to see what a month or two with a few small changes does to my body. I can already see some definition in my legs and my core feels stronger.

What I have been neglecting is my PT. I had to cancel an appt before Christmas and never scheduled any more. I wanted to give the new plan some time, but was so sore after my previous session. I do my exercises, but not as often as I'm prescribed. They feel fine when I do them, but sometimes I'm really sore for a week afterwards. 1 step forward, 2 steps back. This isn't progress. My PT just keeps changing it up hoping to find something that works. I'm getting frustrated with that and losing confidence in the utility of PT.

Other than that, I was able to get two short walks in today during breaks in the weather. One after lunch for about 10-15 minutes and another when I got home (10-15 minutes - pretty brisk). I wish I could fit it in the morning, but I really just can't be consistent that early. I already get up early for my >1hr commute to work. Need the morning time right now.

I'm looking forward to the weekend to try and get some longer walks in. I was even thinking of trying Barre. Anyone tried it? It is low impact, but probably a lot of strain for my lower back and hip with the isometric holds. The local studio states that they modify positions, etc.
 
I wouldn't recommend barre to anyone with lower back pain that started during/after pregnancy because it often involves hypermobility (which is normal and a useful thing when you're trying to push out a baby!) and barre has a lot of mobilizing elements. But, as usual, if you happen upon a trainer who knows more than just their own stuff, checks form and knows how/when to modify, it could be fine.
 
Ok. Thanks for the insight. Did some more reading after that post and I don't think my body is ready for that yet. Might try yoga instead. Yes, I'm the only person in the world who hasn't tried yoga. Actually, did one class more than 25 years ago and it was excruciating and not meditative or relaxing at all. Probably just a bad instructor at the YMCA, but it hasn't warmed me to the idea. Anyone recommend trying an online beginners yoga video first? They have beginner yoga videos (that are 1 hr long - seems long for a beginner session) on Amazon Prime.
 
You might find a good yoga youtube channel you like. Other than the beginner stuff, I wouldn't recommend doing it in a group/online setting. Like any physical activity where form is import, it's easy to get hurt without someone experienced to let you know when you're doing something incorrectly.
 
I think yoga would be a good idea. Perhaps you could get an introductory lesson to see what you think, rather than signing up straight away. I love Tai Chi. It's very relaxing :)
 
Wow. It has been a busy few days and I can't believe it is only Tuesday. I really need to get more sleep; I've been having trouble with a bad cough. I've been continuing with my small changes. Have to admit I really craved something sweet the other day, but it passed and I felt good about not having it.

My kids are helping with the cooking. My daughter learned how to make low-fat mozzarella cheese, basil, and tomatoes and she loves it. She made it for us as a snack after our walk. My son didn't really buy it, but tried it nonetheless. We have the "two bite club" here where you have to take two bites of all the foods on your plates.
 
Funny - I have stairs at home and now we are building a house to get rid of them! But they do add extra activity! Great job squeezing in a little workout before leaving each day. Those are all great movements that help build a solid foundation. Wishing you the best on your goals!
 
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