Brian - My first Diary

Brian2

Brian2

New member
Hi all,
My name is Brian, and I have struggled with weight my whole life, or at least I thought so. Looking back on old pics of myself, I had quite the athletic build. Especially while I was playing baseball and in the Marines.

I remember when I met my wife Shelly, that I needed to quit smoking because she was a non-smoker and wouldn't kiss me if I had a cigarette. Since I never smoked more than 1/2 a pack a day, I found out it wasn't that hard. however, as with most smokers I started to gain weight, and pretty soon I couldn't see my shoes. After I turned 30, my chest hit my belt like it fell off a cliff. :nopity:

Between that and a sedentary job (vet tech and pet trainer) I became more and more slothy. Did I mention my wife is a terrific cook, hot, and way out of my league? Well she is, and never hounded me about my weight. I realized one day that I was out of breath from tying my boots. :banghead:

Now you should know this about me, I love animals and finally found my dream job - Animal Services Officer. Just now we are really rolling in abandoned animal cases and starving animal cases. I have run of the whole county, and all the hole in the wall restaurants whenever I want :drool5: (did I mention that I have no self-control?) Plus I drive everywhere. My job is active in spurts, chasing loose animals, wrestling non-compliant animals into pens or truck, but that is sporadic at best.

We moved to the new county, so I don't have many friends to go exercise with anymore, and I have none of the discipline I had in the Marines back in the 90's. :patriot:

I have two great boys and an incredible wife. We are slowly working on getting me down, so my goals remain to lose weight, eat healthy, so I can be around for my grandkids and really enjoy retirement.

I just tend to suck at eating healthy, cause I love fat foods, MacDonalds, cream cheese, and I cook pretty good too.

More later, but for now, just an introduction to me.

Here's to all of us, to keep our motivation, let our goals remain on the front of our brains, and to continue to succeed.

All the best,
Brian
 
Welcome, fellow newbie ^_^ Here's wishing you the best of *skill* (not luck, because this isn't a luck game) in your goals! My best tip is to start small if you haven't already. Stuff like getting a diet soda when you go to McD's, and parking as far away from the door as you can manage when you go out so you have to walk. Maybe low-fat cream cheese, or try to use it sparingly. Once you got the little things under your belt then I bet you'll feel more confident about big changes!
 
3/25/08

Things are definately different at work, due to getting a new supervisor, whose style I like so far. I feel myself with waning motivation, and I can only hopw that continuing to check in here will keeep me honest until my want for weightloss returns. It has tended to wax and wane. Fit into much smaller size now, so maybe getting smaller clothes will help my thought process. Thanks to you all for recipes, tips and good thoughts,

See ya soon,
B
 
:waving:Hi Brian! Welcome to your diary! Congratulations on your loss so far, and on landing your dream job! It sounds like you have a lovely wife and delightful sons, so your life is going pretty great. You are very blessed!

Now about your weight...
Dr. Phil (my buddy) maintains that you don't need willpower to lose weight. YOU NEED A PLAN. And he is totally right. You aren't likely to see the impressive losses you want without a sensible plan...including A GOAL. How badly do you want to lose weight? To look like the guy who belongs with your hot wife (ummm, I think you said that she is quite the looker)? Until your head gets there, I think trying to lose is much more difficult. You decide.

Best wishes on your journey, B. YOU CAN DO THIS! :hurray:

Cheers from :eh:
ABBA
 
Thank you all for your support, ABBA, AND YOU ARE RIGHT, I DO NEED A PLAN - OOOOHHH, and I have one and am following through.

I have significantly reduced my portions. I have started working out twice a week, nothing heavy, but situps and pushups and a little running, 1/4 to 1/2 mile depending on time. Little bits, baby steps.

Over the course of 7 weeks, I have kept to a variable of the weight watchers point system. My motivation does come and go with my mood, that is an issue when you use food for comfort. So I have been concentrating on finding other comfort - endorphins for example, reading again, playing with the boys.

My short term goal is to see 230 by Cinco de Mayo. Mid term goal is to play Batman to my wife's Wonder Woman by Halloween. Long term goal is to have energy for kids and grandkids when the time comes.

What has to happen for me is to keep my goal and self value at the front of my mind, concentrate on it, and make time for me.

Life is and will be good,
Thanks for reading my diary
Brian
 
Hi Brian
You certainly have the right attitude and motivation. You need to put your health first and everything else second, because if you don't have that, you won't be able to enjoy anything!

Three cheers for the WW programme. I am using their flex points programme, too; though I confess I haven't tracked my points for months. MInd you, I have been on the programme for about 9 months, and have a VERY good idea of how much I can eat (ie. portion sizes). I do track about 1 wk per month to make sure I am still keeping things in line. Other than portion sizes, my rickety old treadmill has become my best friend. I have learned that unless my workouts make me sweat like a waterfall, they are of little value to my weight loss.

Cheers and keep up the good work,
ABBA
 
Brian-

Just found your diary and since I'm about to hit the door at the end of the day I will have to read it tomorrow and I look forward to doing so! Thanks for your support over in the Weigh Yourself Everyday thread... you're a real gem:) Have a good night!
 
Ok, I mispoke earlier in my post regarding seeing 230 by Cinco De Mayo. I better be able to lose 4 lbs in less than a month at this point.

HEEHEE - I meant to say 5th of April, so that will challenge me :smilielol5:

So Today, my neighbor had an elliptical out in his driveway, and lo and behold, it was being given away. So I got it, YYYYAAAAAAYYYYYYY

I love the elliptical, cause it is low impact on my bad knees, and my favorite cardio exercise. I need to get parts, as it is broken, but only the console, the mechanical part works, and I can get started right now, until I get the new board:sifone:

Thank you all for coming to visit my warped end of the world, love you all "Princess wave"

So things looked up faster than I thought. YAY, so happy :driving:
Gotta go, my ride awaits
Brian
 
Brian said:
So Today, my neighbor had an elliptical out in his driveway, and lo and behold, it was being given away. So I got it, YYYYAAAAAAYYYYYYY
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Glad to see you practically have exercise knocking on your door! And if you need motivation to get into the swing of things, try signing up for one of the challenges here where you have teammates... my motivation had been awful of late until we started the Amazing Race Challenge, and now I have more than just myself to look out for... I'm also responsible to keep going for my team and not let them down. Totally got me out of my funk! Enjoy your weekend new friend!
 
brunettegoddess said:
Glad to see you practically have exercise knocking on your door! And if you need motivation to get into the swing of things, try signing up for one of the challenges here where you have teammates... my motivation had been awful of late until we started the Amazing Race Challenge, and now I have more than just myself to look out for... I'm also responsible to keep going for my team and not let them down. Totally got me out of my funk! Enjoy your weekend new friend!
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Challenges eh???? Appealing to my competitive side eh????? How diabloical!!! I shall check that out :auto:
Brian
 
:iamwithstupid: Sometimes, I get so pissed at myself. I walk into my triggers and think that my behavior will somehow be different. Huge sandwiches, junk food buffet, no problem: eeeerrr, after a few drinks there's never any f&(*%$(%* problem, I just eat it all.

If I seem a bit frustrated with myself, that would be because it's no one's fault but my own. I am a little down today, even though I am starting off good, never have a prob with am routines. but in the afternoon and evening, I feel like saying FFFF it. I t doesnt' help that I am alone again in this journey but I ain''t gonna blame that.

Crap, let's see if we just can't move forward and get er done,
Brian
 
Brian said:
I am a little down today, even though I am starting off good, never have a prob with am routines. but in the afternoon and evening, I feel like saying FFFF it.
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Well I suck at AM routines... I like sleeping... I like being in a warm bed. I think your AM routine-ness gives you a leg up on most ppl. Secondly after work I also feel like saying eff it, I can do it tomorrow. But clearly I can't if I want to be a lard ass forever so what helps is that straight after work I hit the gym. If I go home I don't leave (and usually snack) or I find something else to do to convince myself it was ok to skip the gym.

Brian said:
I t doesnt' help that I am alone again in this journey but I ain''t gonna blame that.
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There are lots of ppl here on this board to keep you entertained, lend an ear, share an experience.

Just keep moving forward. WHen you mess up, take responsibility, recognize you made the mistake on your own, forgive yourself, put it in the past and don't make a habit out of it. You can't change the fact that you drank a few too many beers and then hit the buffet, but you can change the likelihood it will happen again.
 
Thank you BGoddess, I love that you just keep me going, great support. Yeah, I tend to like to get down on myself, feel like I will never do it, then it gives me an excuse to fail. hell, failing is fun, I can eat whatever I want and bitch that the world ain't fair.

I have had trouble getting up lately, think I am fighting depression jag. I now that tomorrow, or soon, I will be back on track.

For my health, for my family, for my job. I want to keep living healthy.

Brian
 
Brian said:
Thank you BGoddess, I love that you just keep me going, great support.
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You are quite welcome.

hell, failing is fun, I can eat whatever I want and bitch that the world ain't fair.
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The world would be fair if I could eat a Krispy Kreme cream filled donut for dinner and have that be a balanced meal. Failure is always easy, that's why succeeding is so much more rewarding!

I have had trouble getting up lately, think I am fighting depression jag. I now that tomorrow, or soon, I will be back on track.
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Read this article by Leigh Peele... she's a trainer/fitness-nutrition guru much like Steve (who also has very informative things to say). She use to be on this board but from the look of her website she is quite busy being successful and hasn't stopped by in quite some time. Feeling crappy might be just what you need! In all seriousness though, for the past few weeks, especially at night when I get tired, I've been unusually sad and a bit tempermental. If you've had problems with depression in the past, please make sure you are getting enough calories. There are studies out there (I should probably try to refind one of these before I boast information) that show being in too severe of a deficit for too long brings on an onslaught of emotional issues... and as someone who has had an ED and had a male friend with an ED (affects both sexes equally), not getting enough cals can really mess you up... not just metabolically.

For my health, for my family, for my job. I want to keep living healthy.

Brian
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This is why my diary is entitled the Best Version of Myself. I'm already a darn great gal. I have my faults and my nit picks, and far from perfection (just don't tell anyone that, okay?;)) but in my mind all I am lacking is a nice body to complement my intelligence, humor, etc:) Do this for yourself foremost. Do it to feel more confident in yourself. Hell you could weigh what you do now and be confident. But if this is the thing that irks you about yourself then change it... and change it to make yourself feel better. You control your own happiness.

Like you told me in the Weigh Yourself Everyday thread, just keep swimming. Whether you think you can or cannot, you are right (Henry Ford).
 
Well, things are heading the right direction at least. I have a training seminar coming up in LA LA land, and I get to (have to) spend 4 days away from my family, and where I can order anything I want to eat. Talk about triggers, holy Sh@t Batman.

"-Less lucid, foggy
-easily emotional
-fatigue
-hunger
-harder to wake up in the morning
-muscle soreness
-sadness

These are not symptoms of overtraining…these are symptoms of fat loss."

Brunnette - this is direct quote from your blog you suggested. Who knew it was working?? Now I can keep this at the front of my brain and know that it is symptomatic of my progress, and not let it get to me (in theory)


I know I can do it, I will want to do it. I am tired of bad self talk (FFF it and so forth)

Special thanks to my awesome new friend - BrunnetteGoddess, who always finds a new angle to suggest for me :gnorsi:

And to all of you who never let me give up, thank you, and I will always be around for you when you need it.

Be well, and be excellent to each other
Brian
 
Last edited:
4/10/08

back from LA, and had a great time, ate lots of fish, spent too much money, and only gained back 3 lbs. Not bad, back to the old grind,
Brian:patriot:
 
OK, Brian you are back, mostly motivated, so why are we stuck at 239, we have been exercising, watching portions, and eating lots of fiber. It may be that the exercise is converting fat weight to muscle weight.
My clothes are looser, and I feel stronger, and can do 35 min on elliptical no problem, although my right hip hurts after that. Christ age sucks.
Good news, is I feel better, libido is back, and can play with the kids.

On and on we go, for it shall start falling off soon,
Brian
 
4/19/08
feeling blah the last few days, and wife just turned 30. What sucked the most is we've had no money for a while, and I couldn't get her anything worthy. I mean shit, it wouldv'e been nice to really get her something nice she deserves. plus the depression has set in cause I am stagnant for weight loss, am finally down a pound today. I haven't been motivated and keeping the thoughts int he front of my head just don't seem to work like it used to. Guees I'll just keep trying.


:leaving:

Brian
 
4/24/08
down to 233, lack of appetite contributing to recent WL success. Hope times get bettter soon
B

Remeber this week always
 
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