Bellaryna's Journey

Bellaryna

Bellaryna

New member
Hi everyone,
I introduced myself last night or I guess it could be considered to be early morning. :jump:
If you want to read the introduction just jump over to newbies and read "jumping on the bandwagon (again)".
For breakfast this morning I had a Special K protein bar and a 1/2 can of Great Value fruit cocktail in splenda juice. Total of 160 calories already.
So far I am struggling because I really want to eat "more" this morning. Not because I am hungry but because I WANT to. Ugg.
I feel so disgusted with myself.
That "machine" is sitting in the other room mocking me. I don't even have the ~want to~ to jump on it right now. It seems that every evening I feel very motivated to get this plan started and I always say tomorrow I will start. Tomorrow rolls around and all that ~get to itness~ has disappeared.
I don't want that to happen again.
I really am tired of being fat. There I said it....FAT!!!
That is what I am. It is hard to come to terms with that. I think that I have the only case of reverse anorexia in the world. I really think that I am much smaller than what I really am. Probably just a good ol' case of denial.
Ok so I am going to get off my butt and go dust off that elliptical.
I'l let you know how I did. That is if I survive the ride!
Bellaryna
 
good luck taming the elliptical... :)


and welcome to the forum - much success on your journey and have fun while you are here.

Do some work planning out your meals -makes calorie counting a lot easier and less stressful - plus it helps out a lot with grocery shopping ..
 
Thanks for the encouragement.
I am now ready to "tame" the beast.
Water Bottle....Check
Cd Player......Check
Kicking Cd to workout to.....check
And determination......Check Baby!!!!!
 
Yay! You started a diary, that's awesome. :)

I feel you on the eating bit not because you're hungry but because you just felt the need to. I used to do it all the time. When I have the urge now I just drink some water and it seems to "fill" me up mentally.

Sometimes it takes us to get to a certain point to realize that we need to change our lives. And it's great that you've realized that now rather than later. If you really want to change your life and are committed to doing it, you will succeed. Just keep in mind that Rome wasn't built in a day and you didn't put the weight on in one either. It'll take some time but you'll get there!!

"Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero"
Seize the day, there is nothing else beyond that

Go get on that elliptical and tell it who's boss!
Keep us posted!

xoxo
 
Hi there Bellaryna,

welcome to your first day of your journal. :) I hope you don't let the elliptical defeat you... If anything, you should be proud of yourself for a few reasons: 1. You've had enough and you're doing something about it right now. 2. You've "put yourself out there." The great thing about creating a journal here at the WLF, is that it allows for all of us snoopy people to peek in and steal fitness tips/ ideas. haha Also, the motivation and support from those undergoing the same situation is awesome. So... don't take gruff from the swine. (Saying in the comic Pearls Before Swine.. haha) Just remember, you're just starting out so don't be too strict with yourself: foodwise as well as workout-wise. Little changes in ones lifestyle is what counts. Once you start getting used to that, then you can change a few other things. You'll do just fine.. just get out there and start living the rest of your life like we all should be doing: happy and loving every minute of it. :D My best...

-Sheryl
 
Hi Bellaryna,

Its great that you've decided to come here and make these changes in your life. Go tame that beast (elliptical) it really is a viscious machine... once its tamed though you'll feel soo great!

I also used to eat just because... now sometiems I have to force myself to eat to get enough calories. Sheryl is right though... do not be too strict with yourself. Especially at first. This journey is about learning to be healthy and the key to that is moderation.

Good luck on your journey and taming the beast
~Jenna
 
Well I am still alive........though it feels as if only barely.
Now I remember why I never use those things. They're hard to keep up with.
Ours is a really nice NordicTrac AudioStryder that is all computerized. Even came with a digital trainer named "Rhonda". Who by the way is so annoying. It actually tells you when you are going too slow. I just wished I could pop her right in the nose!:boxing:
You choose how much of a workout you want and it puts you thru the paces. Adjusting the ramp,speed,resistance,ect. You get the idea.
I went for the full 20 minutes but I honestly thought I was going to puke with only 6 minutes to go. Thought I would pass out with only 3 minutes. And thought that I was dying when it was all done.
I went for 1188 revolutions at about 55-62 mph!!!! It says that I burned like 300 and some calories but I know that can't be accurate because it didn't ask for my weight or height. That is the only drawback with this machine.
I told my kids (dd 7,ds 4) that mommy needed cheerleaders and boy did they pull thru for me.
They started chanting a cheer that they learned at Vacation Bible School.

Run, run, run the race-
Keep, keep, keep the pace-
Run the race-
Keep the pace-
Keep your eyes on Jesus!

I couldn't possibly quit with them standing right next to me cheering me on.
So that is my 1st workout in a nutshell. I haven't been on that thing in about 5 months and the last time I am sure did not count.
I was just horsing around eating a cheese danish at the same time. Yes you read that right. While I was "working out" I was EATING a cheese danish.
Guess I figured at the time the one would cancel out the other.
Tell next time.
Bellaryna

SW 230#
CW 230#
GW 165#
Mini-goal 200# by Thanksgiving
 
Bellaryna said:
I went for the full 20 minutes but I honestly thought I was going to puke with only 6 minutes to go. Thought I would pass out with only 3 minutes. And thought that I was dying when it was all done.
I went for 1188 revolutions at about 55-62 mph!!!! It says that I burned like 300 and some calories but I know that can't be accurate because it didn't ask for my weight or height. That is the only drawback with this machine.
I told my kids (dd 7,ds 4) that mommy needed cheerleaders and boy did they pull thru for me.
They started chanting a cheer that they learned at Vacation Bible School.
Click to expand...

:rotflmao:

You have your own cheering squad. Whatever works!


Best Wishes,

Carrie
 
That's so great for your first workout! Don't be too hard on yourself about the danish. It's the beginning and you can't expect to be right on track immediately. :]

That's so cute that your kids were cheering for you!!!

Hope the rest of your day has been well! Sorry I just got around to posting, I've been pretty busy cleaning the house today. :/

xoxo
 
Just got back from the grocery store. Had to shop with the kids since dh is gone this week. It always feels like such a chore when the kids are with me.:drooling:
I am pretty sure that most everything that I got was good for me stuff. I was even looking at the calorie content of the yogurt that I usually buy for my kids. Needless to say they won't be eating that yogurt anymore.
I am however very proud of myself, :) I did not buy my usual Snickers on the way out of the store. That is my usual "prize" for making it through the store unscathed.
Did stop and get a Decaf Grande Vanilla Latte made with soy and low fat whip. It was sooooo tasty! YUMMY :rolleyes:
Stopped by the video store and got a video for the kids and my mom. I am sucha sucker. I was told that I was a candidate for a box of popcorn and free box of candy. All for only $1.70 extra. Said yes and had it bought before my brain caught up and said what was I thinking. I can't eat any of that and my kids definately shouldn't be eating it either. But the damage is done. for the kids anyway. I won't be eating any of it.
Stopped by to drop off the movie and visited with my mom. She just had surgery a few weeks ago and hasn't quite gotten over it yet. I think that so far today I have done pretty good. I am not sure of the exact amount of calories but I know that I did not go over 1400. Dinner was left over chicken and rice (2 1/2-3 cups). I was thinking I will have a 100 calorie pack of popcorn for tonite when I am watching my movie. Maybe even a banana or some such thing.
This is the worst time for me to eat and eat and eat. With my dh out of town I feel lost and alone so tend to eat out of boredom. That and I usually get lazy and the kids and I end up eating out all the time.
But I think I may have it licked this time.
Thanks to everyone who has made me feel so welcome today. I am thinking I will weigh myself tomorrow morning just to see if even a 1/2 pond fell off somewhere. I am a daily weigher. I know that it is not the best way to go about it but that actually keeps me very motivated.
I will stop by in the morning and let you all know how it goes.
Until then........
Bellaryna
 
I constantly find myself looking at the nutrition information when I go to the store now. It's a great habit to get into, usually takes me more time to get out of the store but I think you'll find that it's worth it in the end. :]

Great job on resisting the snickers! That's usually my thing too, grabbing a candy bar while I'm checking out. It's just tempting, especially when they're like 2 for a $1. lol.

Sorry to hear about your mothers surgery, hope she is doing well!

I know how you feel about the eating out of boredom when your hubby isn't there. I do the same when my bf isn't here as well. Or rather I used to. :] You'll get into the swing of things and you'll figure out your own schedule and find out what works for you.
And the eating out bit, just think of all the money you'll save by not going out to eat. And the extra quality time that you'll get to spend with your children during dinner. And maybe even you and the kids could do something special with the money you would have spent! :]

I'm a daily weigher-inner also. I find it easier for myself because I can more quickly correct my mistakes once I see them on the scale. Just don't let the scale get you too upset if it's not in your favour one day. :)

You sound like you're off to a great start so far! :hug2: Hope you had a great night. I'll talk to you soon. :]

xoxo
elle
 
Hey All~
Well here it is Day 2. And I weighed myself 1st thing this morning. I lost 2 pounds!!!!!!!!! :jump: WooHooo!! My frog gets to move!!!!!!!!
I know, I know 2 pounds doesn't seem like alot but it is enough for me to be motivated for today.
For at least the last 3-4 weeks I have hovered at, on or above 230. So to go below just feels like a dream. When I get down to like 218 I will be excited because that was the last platau that I was stuck on.
I can't wait until I get that first person saying "hey you look like your losing weight". That's always a good motivator.
I wish that I could have lost enough for my hubby to notice when he comes home from camp. Tomorrow is our 11 year wedding anniversary. We plan to celebrate it on Monday by spending the day together sans children. Of course that will entail some sort of eating out I am sure. I will just have to make good choices.
I work on the weekends Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. So to try and do anything other than during the week is insane. I usually only get like 5 hours of sleep per night on the weekends.
I have noticed a pattern already of my eating. I did really well all day. But when it came to the night......YIKES:eek:
I am surprised that I lost that 2 pounds! I ended up eating some of that stupid candy that the kids had..........like 180 calories worth. Plus went and bought some of those fudge bars that I read about on here. Think it was Mrs. G who mentioned those. Kudos for that. Of course I had to eat one of those and then the kids didn't finish their popcorn and hey I was going to have popcorn for my movie ( Disturbia, VERY good movie in my opinion) anyway so just went ahead and finished theirs. And true to form their popcorn had butter on it. Where as the popcorn that I had bought for myself had a tiny bit of butter and was only 100 calories. Then lets see oh yeah I had some of these new "natural" Cheetos. You can eat like 32 of the things and it is only 150 calories.
So I think that it is pretty obvious that I am a night snacker. Though some of all that may have alot to do with Gil not being here. I just don't like being home by myself without him and tend to not sleep well either.
Today is a major cleaning overhaul around here. Don't want to do it but it needs to be done. Also I am going to go get back on that nasty machine even though I still vividly remember yesterday.
So for now that is all. I am going to try and upload a before picture.
The picture is of me at looking down the beach in Puerto Rico. (Hubby is Puerto Rican so we went to visit family for vacation this year.) I think were I not so *bottom* heavy that the photo would be cool. Otherwise it is one of my least favorite pictures of myself ever. It really shows how much weight I have gained.
Check you all out later,
Bellaryna
 
Congrats on the 2lbs. down!!!! 2lbs. is a great loss for just being your second day! It's great that it made you motivated... as it should have :]

A good idea for going out to eat is that right when you get your food ask for a take home box. Stick half of your food in there (of whatever you deem that you shouldn't eat) and take it home with you and eat it another day or let the hubby eat it. :]

Great job on sticking to your eating during the day! I find myself being a night time snacker as well. Maybe you could set a time that after that, there's no more eating? Or if you do want to snack maybe have some baby carrots or grapes or something healthy. I don't know if you like celery but I heard that it's a negative calorie. I guess it takes more to burn it off than it has in it. Not sure how true that is but either way, it's good for you. :]

Now that you posted pictures I guess it's my turn. lol. Mine should be up tonight hopefully. just gotta scrounge up some batteries for the digital camera. lol. Always such a task.

Hope your day went well!!
xoxo
 
Hey Elle~
Thanks for all the kudos and advice it really does help.
I stayed on track for like the whole day. I think maybe it helps that I was never in front of the TV. For most of the day I puttered around the house (didn't clean it like I should have) and played with the kids and surfed the net. Cowabunga dudes!!!!
I am very ashamed to say that I never did get back onto the *beastie*:cry:
I just SO did not enjoy yesterday. But I have plans to go to bed early and rise early and get*r *done tomorrow.
I have so much stuff to do tomorrow that it isn't even funny. I put off cleaning the house for 3 days and now not only is it mess it is a huge mess. The kids really did a number on it. And I need to make like 6-7 dozen cookies to take out to the camp for my hubby and all his little charges. Tomorrow is our anniversary so I am excited to go see him.
So besides riding the beastie I will be doing the hustle all morning just to catch up with everything that I should have been doing all along.
Thanks for the love about my mom. She seems to be doing better here in the last few days. In fact she may come over for lunch tomorrow. I hope so.
The kids love it when she vists. She always brings them something.
Well I guess I am off for another nights rest.
Talk to everyone later.
Oh I almost forgot. I am not even hungry haven't been since about lunch time. Actually feel fuller than I normally do.
Toodals Everyone
 
Sounds like you're gonna be super busy tomorrow! Don't worry about not getting back on the beast today, I'm sure tomorrow will be a lot better. Plus that you'll be running around all day so that'll help. :]

Glad to hear that your mom's doing better :)

Go get some sleep and I'll catch up with you tomorrow!

oooh and have a great anniversary with the hubby!!
 
Down another 1/2 pound!!!!!!
I am little surprised at that. :eek:
I didn't really expect to keep losing anymore after the 2# drop yesterday.
The kids got me up earlier than normal due to some seriously serious thunderstorms. I of course could sleep through a freight train. Which is good since we live less than 1/4 a mile away from the busiest midwest section of train track in the USA. An average of 5-6 trains an hour. In fact I am so use to them now that when we went on vacation I DIDN'T sleep so well. Missed the music of the trains I guess.
Anywho......I think that I did really well yesterday. Didn't ever really feel hungry except at lunch and then I only had a pita pocket ham sandwich with a side of green pepper slices and some of those Cheetos I was telling you guys about. Oh and I had a small section of celery with peanut butter on it.
The only problem I seem to be running into is apparently I am struggling to maintain enough protein. I am also a member of Calorie King. Really helps with the daily food logging/keeping track thing. It lets me know if I am too low on something. Examples being: carbs, fat, protein.......you get the picture. The thing is that it seems most of the high protein things are also high calorie. So I tend to shy away from them.
Any suggestions~anyone?
Well this will be about the only time that I will be getting on here today. At least until later........like after the kids go to bed. Just to many things to do today before my hubby gets home from camp. Laundry, dishes, general cleaning.....you get the idea.:drooling:
Here's wishing everyone lots of loses.
Bellaryna
 
Yay to being down a half pound this morning! I'm so happy for you. :hug2:

I'm a heavy sleeper also. lol. We have a nuclear power plant about 5 miles down the road from me and every once in awhile they test the emergency sirens. Those sirens are seriously loud and I apparently don't budge when I'm sleeping and they go off. :eek: Needless to say, if something serious ever happened there... I'd prooooobably be screwed. :confused:

I'm definitely not good with the whole 'knowing what's in things' deal. :/ Sheryl(MsGhettoBooty) seems to know a bunch of stuff like that though. Might want to ask her. :]

Have fun today with your cleaning and such :drooling: I know i'll be doing the same :eek:

Talk to you later hun!
xoxo

OH! and have a great anni with the hubby!
 
Well so here I am. It is currently 20 minutes to August 10th and I barely accomplished what I wanted to today. For the most part I did really well with the watching what I was eating thing. Only I watched myself eat like 8-9 cookies that I made for Gil and his crew out at camp! :eek: Also everyone was insistent that the kids and I stay and eat dinner there, so I had me a Hobo Pie and a half. For any of you's who may not know what that is, it's yummy!:jump:
Actually just hamburger and a bunch of veggies wrapped in foil and then cooked over a campfire. Except I ain't ever had a Hobo Pie that tasted that good before. Maybe it's the diet or maybe they did something to it but it was DELISH!:)
I would like to clarify though that the 1/2 was actually the veggies that my kids wouldn't eat so wasn't all that bad as far as amounts go.
I busted my butt most of the morning cleaning my house. Still need to fold all the laundry. I swear sometimes it feels like the laundry is just squeezing the life right outta me. If I could imagine it in my mind the laundry is slowing sneaking up on me like some weird life force :eek2:,out of a Stephen King novel and then wraps itself around my legs and scoots its way up until it is up to my eyeballs and I am just left gasping for breath. I know it's a bit dramatic but that is how I really feel about it. I just know my kids can't possibly be wearing all the clothes that they bring me everyday. It's like every garment is a rabbit and it just keeps multiplying!!!!!:confused:
Ok enough with that. I feel better just getting that out there. Whew!
So to continue from earlier I don't know what my calories were for the day but I did ride the *beastie*:flame: . So any extra cals that I might have had should have been knocked down a bit. Even if I did still go over, at least it's not by as much had I not rode the *beastie*. So anyway now I am good and tired (since the ride was only 24 minutes ago) I think that I am going to go shower and then sleep.
Until later.......


Bellaryna
 
Bellaryna said:
I swear sometimes it feels like the laundry is just squeezing the life right outta me. If I could imagine it in my mind the laundry is slowing sneaking up on me like some weird life force :eek2:,out of a Stephen King novel and then wraps itself around my legs and scoots its way up until it is up to my eyeballs and I am just left gasping for breath.

It's like every garment is a rabbit and it just keeps multiplying!!!!! :confused:
Click to expand...

ohhhhhh you just made me laugh. :] I fully imagined it in my mind. :p My laundry feels like that to me just because I wait until I realize that I have no clothes left. lol. My own fault though. I can't imagine doing kids laundry too... mass chaos I assume!

Congrats for getting back on beastie!!!
 
Well woke up this morning with a sore throat. Can't figure out the reason for that.:confused:
I think that there must of been alot of salt in the Hobo Pie that I had yesterday. My fingers are so swelled up that I can't even get my wedding ring to slide off. They feel like fat little sausages.
And of course I weighed myself this morning and it said I was back to the 230poundage. :cry: It's gotta be the salt. (Maybe a little bit of the cookies sheepish grin :) )
I have to go to work later today. Which for the most part is not bad, just that my usual pattern is to eat from being bored when I have my breaks. I am not even hungry when I go on break because of the times that I go. Just bored! So I will need to find something to do to occupy my time.
I'll try to keep everyone posted as much as possible. But it may not be very often as I barely even get enough sleep usually because of the nature of the job. But I am going to try my best to ride the beastie everyday.
I hope that everyone does good this weekend. Talk to you all later
Bellaryna
 
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