Being happy?

T

Tal106

0
Ok, this is a bit complicated for me since I've been anorexic, and the whole reason I lost weight and ended up anorexic was because I thought too much about what other's thought of my appearance.

I think Im getting to the stage where I don't care what other's look at me and see. I want to look nice to be happy within MYSELF.
But I still find myself comparing myself to others, even the other day when I went to the pool with a few friends I was comparing myself to a guy saying "is his stomach flatter than mine", etc.

How happy are you with your appearance?
Whats the RIGHT way to think about yourself and how can I boost my self-confidence and esteem?

Thanks :)
 
Tal106 said:
Ok, this is a bit complicated for me since I've been anorexic, and the whole reason I lost weight and ended up anorexic was because I thought too much about what other's thought of my appearance.

I think Im getting to the stage where I don't care what other's look at me and see. I want to look nice to be happy within MYSELF.

But I still find myself comparing myself to others, even the other day when I went to the pool with a few friends I was comparing myself to a guy saying "is his stomach flatter than mine", etc.

How happy are you with your appearance?

Whats the RIGHT way to think about yourself and how can I boost my self-confidence and esteem? Thanks :)
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In my view, the ' right way ' means you feel completely " at ease " with your body and simply accept the fact that it's only a very small part of who you really are...in other words, you are so much more - as a person - than " just a body "

The trap a lot of people can fall into is, the more you embrace, yearn, idolize, validate, internalize - whatever you want to call it - those " beautiful pictures " you see of ' buffed bods ' in papers, magazine ads / covers etc., the more likely you'll be dissatisfied with your own body IMO.

If you continually buy into to all this media hype of what you ' ought ' to look like as a man or women, then you run the increased risk of developing a totally distorted and negative view of your own looks that, in turn, will only serve as jet fuel for feelings of anxiety and or depression.

And then, your self-esteem is going to take as hit as a result IMO.

In my books, it's when self-esteem depends almost entirely one's appearance, then there are some real ' issues ' to sort out IMO.

Rather than focusing on some ' ideal ' body type you want, you have to try and resist the pressure to work toward the " perfect" body " and try to focus instead on what you don't want or don't like seeing in the mirror. It's when you can't reasonably and ' objectively ' assess what see in the mirror isi when professional help can help you do just that.
 
I get bothered by this enough!!!! SO much so that when I came here I made my training journal name "performance- not enough" and I leave it that way as a reminder of ME.

I see myself as heavy. I took off with the lead pack of runners today, and held position and ran 4 consecutive 7:30 mm. and I felt heavy afterwards.

Do I have the solution? NOPE. Do I know of a treatment? YEP

Consider the source. Me looking at me is rediculous. Me asking others what they think of me is kinda weird. Me thinking I know what you are thinking is insane. Me asking you what you think I m thinking about what you think of me is ...... um....

SO- healthy and the ability to "perfoem" what I want to do is THE POINT! Looks are a bi-product.

Sweat Daily
FF

p.s. looking at your own stomach is only allowed in a full length mirror while standing up straight. Otherwise you are squishing down just by looking down.
 
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Its human nature to care what other people think of our appearance but how much we allow that to play a part in our lives is another.

I myself care what I look like and how I look to my partner. She puts in the work to look good so its a two way street. Before that I cared to attract the opposite sex.

I have never minded if someone said something negative about my appearance because I am a firm believer of right on opinion.

I think what it comes down to is the ratio of intrinsic and extrinsic effects on your own perception of physical appearance.
 
NBS 4life said:
Its human nature to care what other people think of our appearance but how much we allow that to play a part in our lives is another.

I myself care what I look like and how I look to my partner. She puts in the work to look good so its a two way street. Before that I cared to attract the opposite sex.

I have never minded if someone said something negative about my appearance because I am a firm believer of right on opinion.

I think what it comes down to is the ratio of intrinsic and extrinsic effects on your own perception of physical appearance.
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Good post, NBS. :)


Best regards,


Chillen
 
How happy are you with your appearance?
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Extremely Happy. :D

Whats the RIGHT way to think about yourself and how can I boost my self-confidence and esteem?
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The answer to this question, ultimately, lies within yourself. Everyone is going to have their opinions on the subject, most of which will be helpful to a certain extent.

One of the best things I have done is to stay positive. When I was at the University of Miami the advice most often given by the head strength coach was -

"Stay Positive Big Baby!!"

Looking at things in a positive light, viewing everything as an opportunity, looking for the best situations and the best solutions has brought me a long way. I can safely say that all of the success I have had since that time has been because of that advice.

It is not easy to think that way, you will have to train yourself, but it is training that is well worth it. Life is great when it becomes a habit.

SO- healthy and the ability to "perfoem" what I want to do is THE POINT! Looks are a bi-product.
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FF has hit the nail on the head. Training solely for appearance, or based upon what others might think, is an exercise in futility.

Train for yourself. The journey, the training hours, the education, the people you meet throughout your training career are much more important things than looks.

You will also find that the best and smartest people you meet are the ones who could care less about what you look like.

The people who are negative and judgmental generally have nothing of value to offer.

I really like the idea of performance goals. Performing better, be it an increase in strength, endurance, a specific sport you are interested in, is a much larger motivator and confidence booster than only training for looks.

Why??? Measurable improvement, you know exactly how much better you have gotten.

On a personal note, having been 200lb and 7% - 8% body fat, I can safely say that I am much happier with my life and myself as a 300lb guy who has an increasing strength level.

On a final note -

Train, whatever your goals end up being, because it makes you happy and because you love the process. Not because the final result might bring happiness.

Reaching a goal is a lot more rewarding if you enjoy the journey.
 
goergen1 said:
I really like the idea of performance goals. Performing better, be it an increase in strength, endurance, a specific sport you are interested in, is a much larger motivator and confidence booster than only training for looks.
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Performance is also more finely measurable. You might lift bigger weights, run longer and/or faster, etc. even if you do not notice a significant change in your appearance. That makes performance a much better motivator than appearance.

Plus, better performance can be useful in many ways. For example, more strength can let you move heavy objects around the house with relative ease. More endurance can let you spend more time walking around a new city sightseeing on vacation.

Another motivation is health. That motivation is more common among older people.
 
Honestly, you'll never stop comparing yourself with others to some degree. It's just human nature. Everyone gets envy of other people's things (be it body or items) from time to time. It's perfectly healthy to complement others and make unbiased observations about yourself and others.

Am I happy with my current appearance? Well yes. Could I do better? Probably, but this is where I am right now, and that's perfectly fine. Do I care what others think of me? Yes, if it's positive criticism, I'll be glad to accept the opinion.

Best thing to do is act cocky. Be selfish when it comes to your appearance. Of course, when I say selfish, I don't mean steal candy from babies. What I mean is just tell yourself that you're the best and act like you're the best. Success comes from the fact that you believe you can succeed.

Remember, reality is how you make it. If you think low of yourself, then you'll only go lower no matter what goals you may reach.
 
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