this is so random but this morning i tried on one of my skirts that i haven't worn really much in the last few months, and it was super super loose and big. when litterally like 4 months ago, i had to rake it up so high to be even able to close it. it was also super short on me too. but now i can put it low and close it completely without it being like super tight. and even if i do put it high it doesn't look too short at all either. this litterally made my fucking day, esp that it's a size M skirt : ))
so anyways, today is already off to a great start.. am almost at my maintenance cals at 5 am lol x(
had like 12 lowish cal cookies, ramen, mint syrup water, a redbull & a monster (so 870ish cals so far fml)
my tdee is litterally 1400 so that means i only have like 500 cals left if i want to aim for maintenance & 300 if i want to at least lose a lill itty bit of weight today so yay, basically wasted another day...
tried to stop all the fuck ups and stay under maintenance last week but kinda failed :/
so trying again today to stay under 1300 cals and it's hard. like i let myself basically already eat at that and it's only 5 pm... so trying to hold on with diet coke until midnight x(
i'm overeating all the time rn, cos my emotions been so out of wack lately that i get this huge urge to just munch on something all the time, so it's like i've lost my self control and i struggle so bad with not eating. i hate this so much, just wish i could just eat when i'm legit hungry and not think about it like ever. i hate having to obsess over eating and everything x(
anyways here's what i had so far today.. it's a lot ik :/ (i'm litterally sick from having all that, ate all that in a span of a few hours):
1 monster can
4 mini almond protein bars
2 big blueberry protein yoghurts (indiv ones)
1 small choco mousse
2 whole packs of shiritaki konjac pasta (basically 500g)
3 diet cokes
yesterday had just one more thing (2 turkey slices) so was able to manage i guess : ) but actually i had 1450 cos i didn't count something right so i might have gained x( hopefully that's at least maintenance for me
anyways so far today i've been doing ok. haven't eaten over 1000 cals by 5 am like i've been doing for the last 3 weeks. so that's good. only at 480 rn
my plan is to wait for like 9pm or so to eat again, so i don't risk going over my cals
this website been bugging real bad for me for a while so haven't really posted anything in like so long, and i need help again... so yea, back on here...
lately been struggling really really bad with eating. Like i've been overreating almost everyday since july and i've gained back about 6lbs :/ and i can really feel it and see it and that hurts so bad.
Like I used to have that like triangle thigh gap thing, but now it's almost gone. also my thighs really touch again and it feel so uncomfortable... and my pants are tighter and one thing that used to be baggy af two months ago fits almost perfectly :'(
i really hate this shit so bad, like why did i have to let myself gain weight and binge like that. now it's going to take even longer... fml
so i think starting tomorrow i'm going to keep track here of what i eat and stuff to help me get back on track, and if y'all got any advice or want to comment on what i'm doing/eating, go ahead
Do you know why you are overeating, Angel? Can you find another way to deal with the emotions you are feeling when you overeat?
Is there someone you can talk to about it? I sense that you are hard on yourself & feel that you would benefit from learning ways of being kinder to yourself. I find it really hard to be positive about the world if I am feeling negative about myself. I know I can’t lose weight when I am putting myself down.
At the moment I am trying to do the things that make me feel better, like getting outside, going for a walk with my dog, ringing a friend.
You can do this, Angel