Angela's Diary

it is thicker and definately doesn't have the sour taste of reg yogurt. there is a brand here - chobani - this is my favorite - totally ff - and they make some with fruit on the bottom which is great if you don't like plain.
 
The bees had a rough year this year. I didn't get anything from them. I'm really sad about that. Next year I'll have to do better by them.
 
it is thicker and definately doesn't have the sour taste of reg yogurt. there is a brand here - chobani - this is my favorite - totally ff - and they make some with fruit on the bottom which is great if you don't like plain.

Trader Joe's sells their own brand, which is really good and more affordable. Chobani is delicious, too.
 
The bees had a rough year this year. I didn't get anything from them. I'm really sad about that. Next year I'll have to do better by them.

I thought bees made honey every year? (Yes, yes I know my ignorance is showing. Enlighten me anyway.)
 
The bees do make honey every year, but they need it to live through the winter. You can take the surplus, but have leave enough for them. It's tricky because you don't know how bad the winter will be, so it's a lot of guessing and all. We also lost one hive to something called a wax moth. It's a moth that lays it's eggs in the honey comb and the larva eat the wax. A healthy hive will kill the moths before they do any real damage, but once they get a foot hold on a hive, it weakens the hive and it spirals down.
 
I enjoyed yet another loss this week. I have been losing slowly but steadily. I can be happy with that. I have increased my exercise routine, going to the gym every other day for 20-30 minutes of cardio and also using weights to gain strength in my arms, legs and abdomen. The days I do not go I am doing simple stretching to keep myself flexible. As times goes on I will go more often. Baby steps.

I was thinking about this whole journey and I came to the realization that my weight is not the only thing that has benefited from my lifestyle change. I think it is important to remember all of the positives that have come of this and are yet to be achieved. So far I have accomplished:

1. I am now nearly 12 weeks smoke-free;

2. Getting more activity in every day has gotten easier and doesn't require as much thought as it did before. I park in the spot farthest from the store, I use the stairs and I take walks at lunch (when it's not too cold.) These are things I don't even consciously think about anymore - I just do them;

3. My kids are healthier and making better food choices. My little one went through a growth spurt and for once she did not grow horizontally as well as vertically. Both girls tend to choose healthy food. They used to clamor for crackers, chips or cookies for snacks. Now they usually want a banana or grapes;

4. My own food choices are healthier. I prefer veggies and fruits over junk food. I don't even want chips or those store bought cookies any longer. I am satisfied with a small bowl of frozen yogurt or 94% FF popcorn for snack time. In fact, when I eat certain things - something too salty, something too sweet, anything greasy - I feel nauseous. Just the thought of McD's makes me want to :puke:;

5. Most of my clothes are not as tight as they were and my favorite pair of jeans (which I had to stuff myself into) now slip on and button without me begging and pleading with the zipper. I've not gone down a size yet but I am close. I can feel the difference physically;

6. I can also feel the change mentally. I have not done the "change six times before I find something I feel comfortable in" dance in several weeks. This used to occur several times per week. I do not stare into my closet wishing for something flattering to appear out of nowhere;

7. When I get on the scale and see a higher number, I realize it is just a fluctuation and I am not depressed by it. I simply use the number as a marker and adjust my food choices or intake as needed. Even more important, the fluctuations are small compared to the larger "highs" I used to get;

8. I've learned to say "NO!" When someone offers me a treat I can easily say no and not feel like I am missing out. Occasionally I will indulge when I have a lot of points or if I had earned activity points at the gym that day (which I can swap for food if I choose.) I only indulge if I know I can do so guilt free. Our office Christmas party is coming up. It is being catered and I'm pretty sure not much of it is points friendly. No worries. My boss will get me a tentative menu to contemplate. I will make my selections before I go and if it looks as if I will not have enough to satisfy my palate (it doesn't take long these days) I will eat a salad at the house before I go;

9. I actually know when I am satisfied and when it is time to stop eating. I never actually knew where my satiation point was before and would eat to the point of discomfort or even pain. I have discovered my weaknesses, learned how to identify potential triggers and can anticipate at what point each day I am more likely to overeat. If I look at a food and think OMG that looks so good! I generally stay away from it. If it is something I want really bad, I figure out a way to make it myself with a decreased caloric value. My habit in the past has been to eat too much just because something tastes real good. Now I analyze each treat for potential trigger hazards and act accordingly.

10. I look at food labels all the time. I don't just "guess" how many calories/fat/points that food has, I actually check. It's become a game of sorts. I guess how many calories/fats/points something will have and then I will check to see how close I was. I have gotten to the point I am generally right. I still get some nasty surprises, though. When we went shopping for our Thanksgiving meal, I came across something that looked so scrumptious I damn near drooled right there in the store: Pumpkin cheesecake. Oh how wonderful that thing looked! I nearly put it in my cart, thinking it would only be 350 calories or so and would be non-dangerous splurge. Then I checked the label. Nearly 500 calories and over 30 fat grams for ONE SLICE. WTF? It no longer looked quite as scrumptious. Back in the freezer it went. Funny how a number can make me lose a craving. Not only was that one slice so not worth all those calories/fat grams/points but I knew I would eat more than one piece once I got started. No way was I going to fall into that trap. I made yummy points-friendly pumpkin muffins instead. :)

I guess I should apologize for my long and sometimes rambling post. However, I felt that it was important that I stand back and take a look at what I have accomplished thus far. If I only go by the number on the scale I would be disappointed by my seeming lack of progress. BUT, that number combined with everything else lets me know I am on the right track and helps keep me motivated to stay there.

Hope everyone has a good Wednesday. The weekend is closer than it was yesterday! :)
 
I can't list my "official" weigh in until tonight because I weigh in at my Monday meetings. My scale at home is generally a 2-lb difference from the one at WW. I showed 213.2 on my home scale, which is down about two points since last week. I don't know what I will show at WW but it should be down since my home scale was.

Something that has been bugging me lately: I can't get warm. It seems the more weight I lose the colder I am. I am cold all the time and not just because it is freezing outside (which it is.) I am cold when I am inside a warm house and dressed in sweatpants, sweatshirt, and thick socks. At night when I get under the covers it takes me forever to get warm. When I exercise, it is even worse. I am fine for a few hours but then I freeze the rest of the day. Don't know what that is about. Maybe I'm just used to so much insulation that I haven't caught up with my weight loss yet.

As much as I love the holidays I hate all these holiday parties! I have been pretty good so far but it is difficult to turn down once a year goodies. One positive thing is that I know what is coming. I know which ones of our clients, court reporters, etc. will be sending goodies to our office. It's pretty much the same parade of chocolates, popcorn, candy, etc. every year. I am ready to ignore it all. Most of these things are triggers for me. Once I start I won't stop. I'm not even going to fall into that trap this year. Besides, am I really missing out on anything? No. Just a few (hundred) calories.

Saturday evening we had a catered dinner at our apartment clubhouse, which included free drinks. I had only one glass of wine then switched to unsweetened tea. I had only one plate of food and no seconds on anything. Considering the food served, it was not the best meal for me but it certainly could have been a lot worse. I was really good yesterday. Honestly, I probably didn't even get all my points in. I got busy and time just got away from me.

There is no reason to place my weight loss journey on a shelf until after the holidays. One holiday or another will always be here to tempt me. I'm not going to sabotage myself this time. I normally tell myself I'll be happy to maintain my weight through the holidays as long as I do not gain. Well, that's not good enough for me this time. I want to come through the holidays with my head high and my weight down. All in all I am pleased with my progress and my self-control these days. The self-control is the biggest feat. I am on my way to breaking the bonds of binge eating, emotional eating, and eating just because something tastes good. I know this will be a lifelong battle and there will be slip-ups in my future. The important thing is now I know what to do to rein myself in when it gets out of control.

Hope everyone has a great Monday!
 
One reason that you might be cold beyond losing all that insulation, could be blood pressure. As you lose weight and get more fit at the same time, your blood pressure will drop. Have you been noticing this?
 
One reason that you might be cold beyond losing all that insulation, could be blood pressure. As you lose weight and get more fit at the same time, your blood pressure will drop. Have you been noticing this?

When I went to my dr's office a month or so ago my bp was pretty good. I have to self-monitor it while on the app suppress and it seems to be fine. Once upon a time that was not the case. I go back to the dr Friday for another bp check so I'll mention this to her and see what she thinks.

I never thought of that reason before. Good to know I am not entirely crazy. :p Thanks!
 
Wow, it's been more than two weeks since I've updated my journal. It seems when I am doing really well I don't come here as often. It is when I feel like I am falling behind that I come here to reflect, so to speak. I have been losing pretty steadily the last month or so. I am averaging about 2 lbs per week, which is fine with me. It's a healthy rate. For once I am not trying to rush it. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why I am successful this time. My scale at home always registers a little lower than at WW meetings. I think the difference may be the time of day. I weigh at home in the mornings but weigh in at WW is after work. I keep meaning to weigh at home after my meeting to check the difference but by the time I get home I forget. It's really only a lb or 2 difference at any given time. On my home scale this morning I weighed in at 209.4. Monday's weigh in at WW was 210.4, so it's probably fairly accurate. I am now within 4 lbs of what I weighed when I met my new hubby. And, I am only going down from here. :)

The holiday season is upon us and things have been crazy. We are all wrapped and ready for Christmas. Mike wants to incorporate a tradition from his childhood into our holiday. When he was young his parents would load everyone up in the car. Dad would "forget" something and have to go back into the house real quick. Then off they went to drive around singing songs and looking at Christmas lights. When they returned home all the kids had a new pair of pjs on their beds to wear. Kinda sappy? Maybe. As a kid that would have been something I would have loved. And this is Mike's way of making our Christmas his own as well. I'm happy he wants to share his memories with us. Tonight the girls and I are making sugar cookies for Santa's arrival. While they cool we will load up and go look at all the pretty lights. When we get home they will have their soft new pjs - penguins in Santa hats for one and snowmen for the other. We'll decorate the cookies and set them out for Santa with a note. Then off to bed. Lol, we'll probably have to threaten the girls a dozen times before they actually fall asleep. It's funny, as a kid I was the first one up and made damn sure everyone else got up, too. Every year I am still the first one up, making noise, trying to rouse the family. I have to be an adult with responsibilities all year long. For just one day, I want to be one of the kids - creating masterpieces with play-doh, playing games and putting puzzles together. I wonder if one of the girls will wake me up this year . . .

Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, a Wonderful Kwanzaa or a Great Whatever It Is You Celebrate! Or, as my three-year-old proclaimed as she jumped into my bed at 5:30 this morning . . . Merry Happy Holly-Days!
 
Last edited:
Angela, you are doing so great. 210? I'm very happy for you. :hurray:

I weigh myself all the time all day long some times. My evening weight is usually 2 pounds heavier from my morning weight. I always use my morning weight because that's the more consistent.

We do the new pj's thing, too. We don't to the surprise part, but tonight we'll break out the pj's that they don't know about. We got a matching set for a cousin that is coming Friday.

I'm working the Midnight shift, so I won't be home till 9 am. They will have to wait for me to get home before opening anything. How rotten am I? :reddevil: Luckily it's my last shift so this whole weekend is spent on Christmas and fun.

:cheers2: Have a great holiday, hun. :hug2:
 
"When the race gets hard to run, it means you just can't take the pace." (Bob Marley)

Boy, is that true! It is especially true of weight loss. Once upon a time I would start the race hard and fast - never pacing myself. Then, as my stamina wore out my determination began to wane and I would just stop running. Each time I stopped running I found it harder to start again the next time. This kind of goes back to the "all or nothing" mentality. It has taken me quite a while to wrap my mind around one simple concept: Although it may take you a little longer to get to the finish line, you can win the race with baby steps. I decided that if I was going to lose this weight - and keep it off forever - I would have to run the race at my own pace. Instead of quitting when things became difficult, I would just have to adjust my speed. So, this time when I started the race I made a plan "A" and then I made a plan "B." I even made a plan "C." I've got all my bases covered in the event something tries to trip me up along the way - which is inevitable. By changing my pace and rolling with life's punches, I am able to hang onto this healthy new lifestyle. It doesn't feel like a chore any more - it feels like second nature.

I have always focused on the big picture (OMG I have 90 lbs to lose!!!). That kind of thinking just begs for failure. You know that saying, "can't see the forest for the trees?" My thinking was just the opposite - I was so focused on the forest that I never even saw the trees. It was when I decided to pace myself and to work at my own speed that I realized those trees are important. Without them there would be no forest. I did not begin the race this time with 90 lbs. I began with only 5 lbs to lose. Then another 5 lbs. Then another. I have now lost 21.2 lbs since returning from my honeymoon in August. I feel good. I feel successful. And my forest is smaller.

I have been losing an average of 2 lbs per week these last months. Last night I weighed in at 208.8. If I continue this 2 lb per week average, I will be about 195 by the time of my surgery in February. That's 15% of my entire forest! At that point I will only be 55 lbs away from my ultimate goal. 55 lbs may sound daunting to some but when you start out with nearly 100 to lose, 55 is a pretty friendly number.

I don't plan to make a "New Year's resolution" this year. I'll just keep on doing what I have been doing. I have already conquered 1/4 the race. The remaining 3/4 of the race will have difficult moments. No worries. I'll simply adjust my pace. One thing I know for certain - I'm not going to stop running this time. Not even when I cross the finish line.
 
Just stopped by to wish you all the best for the New Year!

Hope you have a good one in which you reach all your goals, no matter how big or small!

All the best! :hug2:
 
Yes, I'm still alive . . .

Well, we are buried under snow and ice. We have no power and boy, was it cold! The electric company has informed us it may be several days before they can get ours back on. After being stuck at home for two days, we found a four wheel drive and ventured out last night in search of a warm hole to hide in. It looked like a war zone! Trees down in the roads, absolutely no lights on anywhere in our county, we had to climb over branches in the roadways. It was a mess and with it being so completely dark out there. My poor car is still stuck at home with a few inches of ice stuck to it. The doors can not be pried open. I grabbed my camera and snapped a few pics. It's wicked how much ice accumulated in such a short amount of time. There has to be at least two inches of ice on the power lines behind our house. Our front door had a complete, thick sheet of ice. It looked like one of those sliding shower doors that have the semi-opaque "wavy" texture.

All night long in the stillness and the quiet, we heard trees cracking and crashing to the ground under the immense weight of the ice. Picture not hearing the buzz of electricity, the hum of cars, the bark of a dog. The only thing you hear in the pitch dark stillness are the trees and limbs splitting. It sounded as if a large herd of "bigfoots" (or would that be "bigfeet?") were traipsing through the woods, destroying everything that got in the way. We live out in the country so there were a lot of trees to be heard. Thankfully there were none close enough to fall on our house. Once we got to town, we saw that many people were not so lucky. A lot of trees had gone down violently - some had even split completely in half. There is a lot of damage to houses and cars by trees that fell through roofs, windows, on top of vehicles, etc. This is the time I want to be back in Jamaica on the warm sand under the blazing Caribbean sun. *lol*

My diet has suffered a little but not as much as it could have. At this point I am having to eat whatever there is and I can't really plan on healthy meals. I still get fruit and veggies in for my girls and me but we have also had some not-so-healthy things lately. I have not gained . . . but I have not lost, either. One positive thing is that despite all the stress and despite the fact that I really really wanted one for the first time in months . . . I did not smoke. I am nearly five months smoke-free. :D

I may be MIA again for a little bit since I do not have internet and I really need to get my work done at work. I'll check in when I can.

Everyone keep warm and have a great rest of the week and weekend!
 
Back
Top