grrcheetah14
New member
Hi my name is Amanda I am 21 and from sunny California. I am new to this site, I just signed up today =). And obviously I am overweight or I wouldn't be here lol. I am 5'7" and I weigh about 276 pounds. I recently felt that I needed to get my butt into gear and start the process of losing the unwanted weight.
I have always struggled with weight since I was a little kid. And was teased quite a few times, which of course hurt. So I enrolled in youth soccer and basketball and from 2nd grade to 8th grade I had lost a significant amount of weight but still didn't feel comfortable in my own skin and wasn't convinced I was thin because the scale said i was 145 but i looked maybe 125. View attachment 3875<------ thats me at 145 in 8th grade. Obviously I had a huge distorted image of myself. I never felt pretty and I never felt good enough. Now when I look back I wish I was that weight again.
When I was 14 and a freshman in high school I sought love and acceptance on the internet talking to someone who was twice my age. I agreed to meet him being naive and desperate for attention and I ended up being raped to where I black out from head trauma and couldn't walk for a week. After that i went on a wild streak and barely ever ate and only drank alcohol during that time I had to many close calls and met too many horrible guys. So when I was 17 I started to over indulge in food and eat fast food and junk all the time. In my head at the time I thought that if i was fat and unattractive I wouldn't have to worry about getting abused or hurt by guys because I would be too hideous to pay any attention to. So within 4 years i gained about 130 pounds.
So here I am 21 and severely overweight,unsocial, not in school because I am too paranoid to be around peers and I am not sure if I can reverse what I did to myself. So many days I get mad at myself for ever letting the scale run my life and make me think I was bigger than I was and for letting a horrible man who ripped something from make me feel less of a human. I am glad to say that I have a boyfriend who loves me and who has been with my for two years through a lot of the weight gain and supports me 100 percent and believes in me.View attachment 3877(<--- thats him) i just wish I believed in myself.
Anyways I hope I can meet people on here who understand how I feel (which I am sure is everyone on here) and get some words of encouragement. =) I want to be about 150 again and I know it will be hard so i hope that when I feel like i am going to binge or lose control i can come on here and realize I don't need that junk food in me.
~*~*Amanda*~*~
I have always struggled with weight since I was a little kid. And was teased quite a few times, which of course hurt. So I enrolled in youth soccer and basketball and from 2nd grade to 8th grade I had lost a significant amount of weight but still didn't feel comfortable in my own skin and wasn't convinced I was thin because the scale said i was 145 but i looked maybe 125. View attachment 3875<------ thats me at 145 in 8th grade. Obviously I had a huge distorted image of myself. I never felt pretty and I never felt good enough. Now when I look back I wish I was that weight again.
When I was 14 and a freshman in high school I sought love and acceptance on the internet talking to someone who was twice my age. I agreed to meet him being naive and desperate for attention and I ended up being raped to where I black out from head trauma and couldn't walk for a week. After that i went on a wild streak and barely ever ate and only drank alcohol during that time I had to many close calls and met too many horrible guys. So when I was 17 I started to over indulge in food and eat fast food and junk all the time. In my head at the time I thought that if i was fat and unattractive I wouldn't have to worry about getting abused or hurt by guys because I would be too hideous to pay any attention to. So within 4 years i gained about 130 pounds.
So here I am 21 and severely overweight,unsocial, not in school because I am too paranoid to be around peers and I am not sure if I can reverse what I did to myself. So many days I get mad at myself for ever letting the scale run my life and make me think I was bigger than I was and for letting a horrible man who ripped something from make me feel less of a human. I am glad to say that I have a boyfriend who loves me and who has been with my for two years through a lot of the weight gain and supports me 100 percent and believes in me.View attachment 3877(<--- thats him) i just wish I believed in myself.
Anyways I hope I can meet people on here who understand how I feel (which I am sure is everyone on here) and get some words of encouragement. =) I want to be about 150 again and I know it will be hard so i hope that when I feel like i am going to binge or lose control i can come on here and realize I don't need that junk food in me.
~*~*Amanda*~*~
