Amanda1801's inevitably bumpy journey!

A

Amanda1801

New member
So... This is my diary!

I've always been totally rubbish at keeping a diary of any sort, so I'll do my best to keep this one updated!

My weight loss journey starts tomorrow - clean slate, I'm going to do it properly!

I've always struggled with my weight and was determined that leaving home and going to university was my chance to do something about it. Unfortunately, that didn't quite go to plan (when does it ever?!) and over the last 3 years that I was *supposed* to be implementing my new heatlhy regime, I've met a few hurdles!

When I left home, it became apparent to me that I'd been suffering from depression (since i was 13) and anxiety (since I was 4 years old) - and moving away made my mental health issues hit 10 times harder. My mood went through the floor, I developed agoraphobia and I hit rock bottom - weight loss was the last thing on my mind! The agoraphobia has restricted my ability to get out and about, but I'm hoping that I've progressed enough to soon be able to join (and go to!) the gym :hurray:

I'm much better now, my depression is under control after a combo of medication and therapy, and after 3 years, im starting to reduce my antidepressant dose. This is all good! However - just over 12 months ago I was leaving my last therapy session, launched myself down the stairs, and ended up with a spine injury!

I've had the spine injury since January 2010 and after a lot of to-ing and fro-ing between my GP and spine specialist, I've finally had an MRI and got the results today - I'm a candidate for surgery, so when I've seen my MRI images, I'll make a decision on whether I think that surgery is something I want to go ahead with. The impact of this injury has also impeded my ability to exercise to any real extent, and I've seen a definite weight increase since my activity levels have decreased!

Anyway! Time to move forwards!

So, as of tomorrow, I intend to lose weight though diet and exercise. Diet is something I've tweaked a lot over the last few years - I'm vegetarian and have recently (and spontaneously!) developed a lactose intolerance, so more adjusting and reading labels for me!

I'm not specifically looking for weight loss - I'm aiming for a good level of physical fitness - I'll be losing fat but gaining muscle. I've loosely put my target weight as 100kg as something to work towards. I'll also include my BMI changes as I progress, again, this isn't particularly importaint for me, but it's nice to see the numbers going (hopefully!) down!!


Feel free to comment/critique! Any advice/support greatly appreciated!

Amanda :D
 
I just want to wish you luck with everything! You have been through a lot but you still have a positive attitude!
 
Tally29 said:
I just want to wish you luck with everything! You have been through a lot but you still have a positive attitude!
Click to expand...

Thanks :D

There's been a hell of a lot more but I figure life has made me the person I am, and I'm happy with who I am, so never mind!
 
07/04/11 - Day 1!

143.9kg
BMI = 43.9

Feeling pretty positive today - but the sun is out so that's probably helping!

Got a few things to do today, so will be out and about a lot, hopefully not thinking too much about the fact that today is day one!

Amanda
 
Day 2 (is that all?!)

Had a BBQ today, tried to stick to mainly salady stuff! I had vegetarian stuff anyway and that stuff is fairly low calorie :)

Kinda disappointed that my dr got back to me and didnt really offer anything in the way of effective pain relief, which is gonna leave me struggling to be able to get any good level of physical activity going :(

I'm still going to join the damn gym ASAP and see what I can actually do - I think the one I'm joining does a water based injury recovery class, so that may be suitable...
 
Hey Amanda, great positive attitude coming through from your diary even though it sounds like you have a fair few hurdles to overcome!

Have you thought about Pilates or something in that area - I know people do those kinds of stretchy exercises to help with rehabilitation - might be worth asking if there is something complimentary to your medical treatment options/physiotherapy?

good luck with everything and keep posting!
 
Hi Amanda,

It may not be a comparable situation, but several years ago I had glandular fever (mono), which coincided with the heaviest I've ever been. I had a series of complications which left me bedridden for awhile (about six weeks) and after that left me with a pain syndrome (which technically I still have but I haven't noticed it in a long time). I went to a physiotherapist who was a specialist in pain (the pain specialist doctor told me to go there), and he suggested stretches (I can't remember what they were now, and they may not be applicable to you in any case), and, as I improved, deliberately walking for a set period of time. He told me to start with 10 minutes, at a pace I was comfortable at (which was bloody slow, I was not in a good way). He told me to increase the duration by one minute per day. The idea is to keep it trivial so that you're not daunted by the prospect. If he'd told me on the first day that he'd have me walking at a brisk pace for an hour (the increase in pace was my idea, although it took some time coming), even running, I would have laughed at him, left his office, and never gone back. But that's how far I ended up- all with baby steps. (I lost 40kg as well, but I got my life and independence back, which at that time was way more important)

If you don't have access to a treadmill (and I understand this is not a program that would be easily performed in a gym), start in a different way. Walk as far as you can easily walk (including the return journey) without suffering too much (say, from your front door to your neighbour's front door, to the end of the street, etc). Don't overexert yourself (I tried this method as well and one day I ended up stranded two blocks away from home- I had to call my mum to get her to pick me up because I could not move any further. She was not impressed. Or make sure there's someone with a car who can come and pick you up), and take it one step at a time.

My physio pushed exercise as a form of pain management- and while I know it's a very different situation, I came to him with a pain syndrome (caused by the glandular fever) that was really debilitating and I was told would last for five years. I'm still in that five year period, and today it's like as if it never happened- no pain whatsoever. And when the pain (or the pain related to this condition, at least) was still a factor (for about a year), measured exercise was the one thing that would work to make it go away (painkillers became utterly ineffective for me very early on, and to this day I steer clear of them).

I think it's worthwhile talking to your doctor about, at least. Given what you've been through, there's absolutely no shame in baby steps. (There's no shame in baby steps anyway, but even more so in your case)
 
Hello Amanda, you sure have a lot to contend with. I hope you are able to achieve your goals even so. If you are not satisfied with the gym or ever want to try something different, there are lots of ways to exercise and improve fitness even when you've got limitations. I am a fan of walking in the real world, although i like running too. There's water aerobics. Iyengar yoga has very well instructed trainers and can help you as well so long as you tell them what you are dealing with. And yoga is wonderful for everything including depression and relaxation. You may be able to find a class near where you live by searching in the web. That's how i found one near me. Hatha yoga is more gentle and less interesting i have found but its worth checking out a few different types when you are thinking of taking up yoga. Pity i can't afford to go. I have depression and take meds and had therapy years ago too. Don't really have anxiety though, although i have experienced it on occasion. I'm mostly vegetarian and am writing my recipes and food on my diary if you are interested or looking for ideas. It's called I'm aiming for 59kg.
 
jjjay said:
Hey Amanda, great positive attitude coming through from your diary even though it sounds like you have a fair few hurdles to overcome!

Have you thought about Pilates or something in that area - I know people do those kinds of stretchy exercises to help with rehabilitation - might be worth asking if there is something complimentary to your medical treatment options/physiotherapy?

good luck with everything and keep posting!
Click to expand...

Thanks for that :)

I was told about pilates-type class run by my physio place that focuses on core body strength, but unfortunately the classes clashed with my university time table.

I'd like to do something like that (well from what I understand that it is anyway...!) and it'll be something that I'll look into once I'm comfortable enough going swimming - it's kinda a step up on my agoraphobia scale to do a class like that, but here's hoping!! :D
 
fortyfour said:
Hello Amanda, you sure have a lot to contend with. I hope you are able to achieve your goals even so. If you are not satisfied with the gym or ever want to try something different, there are lots of ways to exercise and improve fitness even when you've got limitations. I am a fan of walking in the real world, although i like running too. There's water aerobics. Iyengar yoga has very well instructed trainers and can help you as well so long as you tell them what you are dealing with. And yoga is wonderful for everything including depression and relaxation. You may be able to find a class near where you live by searching in the web. That's how i found one near me. Hatha yoga is more gentle and less interesting i have found but its worth checking out a few different types when you are thinking of taking up yoga. Pity i can't afford to go. I have depression and take meds and had therapy years ago too. Don't really have anxiety though, although i have experienced it on occasion. I'm mostly vegetarian and am writing my recipes and food on my diary if you are interested or looking for ideas. It's called I'm aiming for 59kg.
Click to expand...


Thanks for that info! As I said in my previous reply, I'd like to try some kind of pilates/yoga type thing as I've heard great things about it, but I dont know what to expect, so armed with that info, I can go and investigate! I can't do anything high impact at the moment so can't do any running (I'm hoping that that'll change if they do operate on my spine) - but I have two dogs so do a lot of walking already! I'm a right lardo at the moment though, so I don't think I could run more than 100 yards anyway just yet! I'm hoping to find a gym im comfortable going to on my own (I sometimes go to a gym with my boyfriend, and thats fine - I'm also comfortable swimming there alone now, but unfortunately its where he lives, which is 70 miles from me!)

I'll also take a look at your diary and steal some recipes! I do find myself stuck in a rut with food sometimes, so a bit of fresh inspiration should really help :D
 
amy1985 said:
Hi Amanda,

It may not be a comparable situation, but several years ago I had glandular fever (mono), which coincided with the heaviest I've ever been. I had a series of complications which left me bedridden for awhile (about six weeks) and after that left me with a pain syndrome (which technically I still have but I haven't noticed it in a long time). I went to a physiotherapist who was a specialist in pain (the pain specialist doctor told me to go there), and he suggested stretches (I can't remember what they were now, and they may not be applicable to you in any case), and, as I improved, deliberately walking for a set period of time. He told me to start with 10 minutes, at a pace I was comfortable at (which was bloody slow, I was not in a good way). He told me to increase the duration by one minute per day. The idea is to keep it trivial so that you're not daunted by the prospect. If he'd told me on the first day that he'd have me walking at a brisk pace for an hour (the increase in pace was my idea, although it took some time coming), even running, I would have laughed at him, left his office, and never gone back. But that's how far I ended up- all with baby steps. (I lost 40kg as well, but I got my life and independence back, which at that time was way more important)

If you don't have access to a treadmill (and I understand this is not a program that would be easily performed in a gym), start in a different way. Walk as far as you can easily walk (including the return journey) without suffering too much (say, from your front door to your neighbour's front door, to the end of the street, etc). Don't overexert yourself (I tried this method as well and one day I ended up stranded two blocks away from home- I had to call my mum to get her to pick me up because I could not move any further. She was not impressed. Or make sure there's someone with a car who can come and pick you up), and take it one step at a time.

My physio pushed exercise as a form of pain management- and while I know it's a very different situation, I came to him with a pain syndrome (caused by the glandular fever) that was really debilitating and I was told would last for five years. I'm still in that five year period, and today it's like as if it never happened- no pain whatsoever. And when the pain (or the pain related to this condition, at least) was still a factor (for about a year), measured exercise was the one thing that would work to make it go away (painkillers became utterly ineffective for me very early on, and to this day I steer clear of them).

I think it's worthwhile talking to your doctor about, at least. Given what you've been through, there's absolutely no shame in baby steps. (There's no shame in baby steps anyway, but even more so in your case)
Click to expand...

Thanks for the positivity :D

I never thought about pushing myself forwards at such a relatively low rate like that before, and as a result, the thought of "proper" exercise has always been really daunting.

I'm off all pain relief now - because its been ineffective. The one pain killer that was working, I had to stop, because I was having side effects I shouldn't have been. I have to have an ECG and echo next week - I could really do without a heart condition on top of everything else!

I'm def. gonna try the slowly slowly baby steps approach! I imagine as soon as I get going, I'll be willing to push further quite easily - its just the initial getting going!

Tomorrow is going to be a day of missions for me - I'm going to do my volunteering, FINALLY take my phone back to the shop for repairing, and endeavour to join the gym!
 
Glad I could give you an idea. Don't be discouraged if you have to increase as (or almost as) slowly as I did- you'll get there in the end, and you're better off getting there slower and not hurting yourself or otherwise doing too much early on that you don't think you can keep up. (That's the only time in my life I've successfully lost weight before, and it was sort of accidental- I wanted to be able to be independent again, and that was my focus)

Feel free to steal recipes/ ideas from my diary too (link in my signature)- apart from a few "oops" moments, it's been going really well and I've not been at all hungry nor depriving myself of yummy food.
 
Well!

I went to look at a gym today - 30 min drive from my house - but I loved it! I think I could feel really comfortable there with my anxiety, so as soon as I can afford it, I'm going to join up :D
 
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