A Scared Diary. A Window to a New Year?

ScaredStudent

ScaredStudent

New member
My name is Ryan and I'm 19 years old, single, and all I can think about is how unhappy I am. I'm not in a good place, and I can get out of it. I feel like no matter what I do in life I'll never be successful. I dread calling my father, I dislike talking to him, he makes me feel worse about who I am than I do to myself.

Well, things are going to change. 2010 is going to be a year of change for me.
I'm starting the new year out by going out and looking for a part/full time job. I plan to having something, somewhere by the end of January. I'm not going back to my university next semester, it's not for me. I'll be working from my first shift right up until I start school in April. I'll be doing Multi-Media Graphic Design, something my mom had been telling me to do right out of high school a year and a half ago. I should have listened to her.

While I'm working, and leading up to (and during) school I plan to use my free time to start eating much healthier. For starters, cutting out beer and soda and replacing with water. I plan to walk on a regular basis, perhaps sign up for gym. I also plan to get my learners driving permit. I'm 19 years old, there is no reason for me to not have it by now, it's simply just because of pure laziness. That will stop.

This is just a small, small, portion of what I want to do in 2010. 2010 is a new year, and new outlook on life.

I'll be posting on a regular basis in 2010. The rest of this month, will be unlikely for me posting anything..

Happy Holidays,
Ryan.

Follow:
twitter.com/collegescaresme
 
December 26th, 2009 (I know this was yesterday, today is the 27th.)

Today is where I start my "new life".

Christmas was pretty good. Aside from my phone call with my father, it was a good day. My house now has a little bench press, which I plan to use quite a lot. We have some smaller weights, and large exercise ball as well. I'll be using these quite a lot in the coming months. I've started doing a few crunches/sit-ups/push-ups in the morning before my shower, and I'll continue to do those. I planned to go out for a walk, and then later walk my dog but unfortunately it's pouring rain right now and has been all day.

I haven't eaten anything really today, I'm not sick. I'm just hungry, I'm likely still living off the turkey dinner I had last night. I drank a few beers and a soda already today, and I'm a little down about that. As I'm typing I have a glass of water, and I'm happy about that.

Tomorrow, should be a good day so I hope to get out do some walking at some point. I'll be going shopping for some DVD deals due to boxing day so that should be exciting. I hope to pick up Taken among some others.

I hope anyone reading has a great remainder of their holidays.

Ryan.
 
Eating healthily does involve eating in a balanced way every day. Try not to eat so much that you do not want to eat the following day. It really is not a good approach to food.

Good luck in your new lifestyle.
 
Omega said:
Eating healthily does involve eating in a balanced way every day. Try not to eat so much that you do not want to eat the following day. It really is not a good approach to food.

Good luck in your new lifestyle.
Click to expand...

It is not that I eat a lot one day just so I won't have to eat another. I simply do not each much, period. I'm just not hungry. I'm so used to it, that I don't eat very much any day. I guess this is a bad thing, and that I should get into the habit of eating on a regular basis, acceptable portions of course.

Thanks for responding all the same!
 
Sunday December 27th, 2009

Hello internet,

Well, I'm a little under the weather today. I was up all night throwing my guts up, and I felt awful. I slept most of the morning, but decided I wanted to get out and look for some boxing day deals. I went to Wal-Mart, and picked up four movies, and that was it. I've seen all four of them, but I loved them when I saw them so I am happy with the purchase.

I picked up:
1. I Love You, Man
2. Pineapple Express
3. Superbad
4. Defiance

Not bad.

Short post today, nothing else exciting happened, and I feel like too much like shit to go for a walk.

Note: I'll be posting the foods I'm eating at each time throughout the day in the future.
 
Hey man! This is my year too! I know you can turn things around if you really work for it! I understand your mother saying you should have went straight to college...but you know what? You didnt. Don't beat yourself up over it. I was 30y/o before I went to school!! I'm 32 now and ready to graduate in the summer. I'm glad you went back, better "late" then never!!

good luck on your journey! Let me know if you have any questions :D
 
Hey Ryan. I was a bit bummed to read your first post about how unhappy you are. Then reading down farther how much you like beer and later on, you had a few.

I'm not trying to be a nag or bring you down, just only trying to help, but alcohol is a depressant and will only make you feel worse. I think laying off the beer will help you feel better and help w/ all your goals.

You can ignore me if you like, I really was just trying to help. You can tell me to mind my own business if you want. Good luck w/ everything.
M2L
 
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